Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives CVA - "B,B&B"

NA - I don't know, at least a lot would get done just by sheer will! The control freak vs. Passive agressive procrastinator isn't working so well either! Hmmm, it MUST be me?

MMH - its a long story bro. Think desparate housewives and what they wear! That is my W and her friends. Or better yet, Orange County Housewives (I think that is what it is called, a bunch of rich spoiled rotten women with a lot of plastic surgery!) Oh woops, did I just say that out loud? Oh well


Just ran into Ws friend, super hot, she asks, "how are you" sort of fishing I guess, "I'm great", shocked she says "really? That's great" knowing all along about our sitch. Pass that PMA along to W!

BTW, I was at the gym and looking good!

C

Why would they want to do all this to their bods? Dont they all have H's and kids. Or do they still think they are teens and need to show it to so they can flirt it?

When they all get wrinkled, their b, b, & B will sag to their feet.
cva, My W says for me to get a GF. WTF, she dont want me to do that. W says for me to find a GF at church - LOL. I may just wanna join the gym too, better yet dine out more often and browse around.

Starbucks and Panera will come in handy for me.

MMH - Don't forget Ulta cosmetics which is supposed to be the hotspot according to CVA.

CVA - sounds like things are still going steady b/t you and W. BR's still in full motion! Good for you!

Good job on the PMA with W's friend also!

Is that in the mall? Malls have been good to me lately. btw, another hot spot is Walgreens pharmacy.

Last night, I was watching a series on vh1 about picking up ladies during the day - the DO's and DONT's.

Took some notes and got ideas, banking all this information when I really need to do so if it happends.

NA
BTW, not thinking of dating, it has just been a while and being a guy, hard not to think of the opposite sex a lot.

Ulta is sometimes in the mall, sometimes in strip malls.

I just prefer to watch MTV cribs and watch how stupid these idiots are with too much money and blow it all on a house and cars they cant really afford. I have all sorts of athletes and rappers in my neighborhood who do just that. Next thing you know BAM, no one lives there and the house is trashed. Dont know why I mentioned this but what the heck. You dont really want to live inside CVA's head, really weird place apparently!

C

LOL, man you are so funny. What part of TX are you from? I lived in Houston or beter yet Ho-town for 21 yrs. Ya MTV cribs is ok, I like Pimp my Ride better - LOL.

SW Houston

Lost Xhibit on Pimp my Ride. I like Overhaulin and Rides.
Houston is actually turning around and a nice place to live, minus the humidity.

C

Aww for the love of Westheimer/Richmond strips. Bellaire blvd if you like Vietnamese foods which I really miss eating. Has the crime rate been down in Houston, I havent heard anything about that. I still have loads of family there and was asking W if she can take vacation in Dec then WE can go to Belize for xmas but she said she prolly cant since all the days are already taken. Prolly sometime next year though, if not I will go alone and spend a few days in Ho-town.

Hey CVA!



I hope you're doing it because it's important to you, and possibly because you didn't do it before and you're showing W changes (though it sounds like this is textbook CVA). Expecting her to do anything but notice is setting yourself up for disappointment (eventually resentment), though. Do it for you and your kids or stop doing it. Getting your own bigger place should help loads with this.



A good friend of mine could've written this, and your W (and her H) have a point. Her H (and your W) aren't super high-energy like you are. She took a page right out of DB (can't remember the section) regarding this, and stopped saying anything to H about getting things done, just thanked him whenever he did any little thing. And you know what? Her H started getting on the ball---nothing like she would've liked, he didn't have a temperament transplant or anything---but it motivated him to do some things far better than her asking, nagging, or complaining would've. And he also began appreciating the things she did more.

It's so easy to get into this cycle where you're keeping score---you do so much around the house and with the kids and she only ____ (fill in the blank). You know this doesn't do a thing for your PMA, your R with W, her attitude, anything. Can you take in her feeling of powerlessness and reach a point where you really understand it? If you can, I bet you'll be able to make some changes you haven't yet that she'll appreciate.

Someone mentioned it's impossible for alphas to do the 180---what are you supposed to do, stop taking care of business? But that's not it. You can start showing appreciation for what your W does do (I bet you can make a longer list than you think right now), start asking for input where you'd just forge ahead before, show her that her thoughts are important to you, let her see that just because you're effectual doesn't mean you don't need her (or wouldn't like her in your life).

It might be more difficult since she's halfway out the door, but that makes it all the more important.

CVA, what's up with the internal meltdown at the movies (that you mentioned on my thread)? What happened, and how are you feeling now?

Hope you're doing well. Take care.

CVA your thread is great! You have me rolling.

I can tell you that the desperate housewives live here in Boston too. Not just in your TX.

Many of my pals have had work done. I thought I might get some Botox for my 30th but I don't really need it. Maybe at 35. We'll see.

I have to admit that the "Housewives" out here are few and far between...sounds like you got them all over. Needless to say the local soccer moms & PTA members usually cringe when they see the group of use show up at some of the kiddies functions. We all take care of ourselves...visit Sephora (the east coast version of ULTA), hit the gym, wear the boob tops...as a joke we were all going to wear T-Shirts that said MILF on them but thought better of it. Its not our fault they let themselves go.

PS: Its easier I think to let oneself go living in NE...you are covered up for 9 months out the year