Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives chicki's drama cont/ 3 I'm feeling like the OW ?

Chicki, not going to touch some of the recent comments about your H except that he sounds like a child in many ways. I don't want to play with my toy unless someone else wants to play with it, and then they're interested. Dude needs to do some growing up.

Regarding your slut question. Some men, yeah, I'm sure feel that way. For me, my W and I have done a relatively wide range of activity together and I never thought any less of her for it. Matter of fact, the more open she was with me about what she wanted; the happier I was. Personally, any man that thinks less of a woman because she wants to do something sexually that HE asks for and wants (or that she wants for that matter), she does it, and then he calls her a slut for doing it isn't much of a man in my opinion.

Anyway. This and the boob shirt/thong thread are making me feel a little bothered.

BD

I agree with Heimlich. I dont see my W as slutty but see it as being open and its not disrespecting of her. I dont think different of her than the first time we had done it. It makes me want to cherish her more since I am getting the satisfaction I am longing for. This reduces the opportunity for a one night stand where that particular event can happend. One thing to note, women can do more things sexually in order for their H to become more closer to them and the same thing goes for men.

Thanks for your insight Heimlich & MMH,

H doesnt make me feel slutty after doing what he wants me to do. I guess its just how I perceive it to be. Yes I agree H in many ways is very immature and knowing his childhood history I know whre it stems from and this is why he is very insecure. A long time ago when we started to takd marriage counseling w/ our pastor & before we stated any of our promblems the pastor picked up on one thing very quickly and on the first session he told me that H was the type who needed A LOT of TLC. I didnt understand at the time just why. H needs to admit to his promblems first of all & then see a IC.

During our enlightening talk about sexual preferences I tolf H I was willing to do mostly anyhting to please him but that he had to learn to compromise an many ways in the M. I told him my ll was QT but that he had to plan it sometimes including the babysiting and make the inniative.I said it goes both ways you give QT & I gladly do this too. Our M has been very one sided w/ me putting in too much effort. I notice this to be common on all of us LBSrs.

Journaling:

Last night's open house and the interraction w/ H there went good. I caught H checking me out several times. When it was finished we caught up w/ his sister there.

As we were all walking back to our cars I left H w/ his sister behind as they were talking. I guess H didnt notice it until the girls & I were getting in my car and he gave me look and put his hands up from a far. I pulled up so he can say his goodbyes. He asked if he was keeping them this weekend (its funny before the imaginary BF he wouldnt ask me several times incase I changed my mind, he didnt care). H told me to pack their football cheerleading outfits (which I prepared already). He asked w/ a smile/smirk if I was going w/ my BF and I ignored the comment (as he then leaned over, mind you he was in the back of the car, and touched my chin). He said you look very nice tonight as he looked at me from head to toe. I had a blue(his fav color) knit top that even though it wasnt reavealing it was close knit to my top part.Hey he's the booby man!!! I told him I can stay w/ one of the girls wehn when he said he would take them all. I know he only has three season ticket seats. I said(nicely) oh I guess you have to by three more seats? Fetching to see if he was taking OW & her kid too. He said no he only had to buy one more (for our kid) & that he was only taking our kids. Father and kid time only. Last night was bike night,but H said he was going w/out his bike(it was late & prolly didnt want to back to his place for it).I didnt ask him but he told me he as going alone and that this is his weekly night alone. Hmmmmm.... if its true he has been spending quite some time alone from her and I'm sure she is not liking that seeing as how clingy she is.

chicki, That is some great news. You are doing well, you are doing better than me. Keep going!!! What will you do with your alone time?

Its unusual to have two nights in a row of good interactions & thats why I will not get any hopes up. We all know how the rollercoaster rides.

I think on your side your efforts are good,but I think I have been at this a little longer than you and so maybe time is on my side right now. That is TIME not expertise by no means I am still backsliding every now and then.

Keep the PMA going!

Why is it when u say your seperated people want to automatically set you up w/ another? The doctor here says she has a doctor freind who is around my age and if things dont work out she can introduce me to him.

Hmmmmmm.....I do think next time I need to marry for $ & not love, what do you guys think?? Just kidding! I once was told to find a man who loves & adores you more than you love him. So anyhow it would be one less thing to worry about,chi ching!

Due to they feel as though you may find love at first sight and dont understand that there is still tenderness and unsolved problems. Especially having a family it is not so easy. If I didnt had D, it would have been an easier transition but since I do have D it is not.

This doctor is remarried so maybe she is the type that cant be alone. If we were to get D I would need in btw alone time. My girls seem to be handling daddys GF ok,but I dont want to add to the mix.

Prob so, prob the same reason why W wants out to be in another R. But the OM is still M and dont want to D his W since his W will move to Arizona or back to Belize with their D & S. OM will be foreclosing on their home if he D. Does this make any sense for my W to D me to be with OM who's M and dont want to D?