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#1199135 09/13/07 01:14 PM
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First I was driving home and got in a car wreck with my 2 year old son. My wife came by and picked him up so I could deal with the police and EMS. I come home go to look up the rental company to get a temp car. Wife was looking up family weekend packages in Arkansas! The gull, I’m sitting there with whiplash and shaken up and she’s thinking about taking the kids with that jerkwad to Arkansas (his home). I’m so flippin upset and I had been calm (relatively) for weeks. Then we’re watching tv and she’s thinking about a bikini wax cuz she has too much hair and asks me to sleep with someone else so I could compare if she’s too hairy. I mean I get that was a joke but after what had just happened and the sitch we’re in it was soooo not funny to me – mean even. Then this morning as she’s driving me to work she keeps playing some stupid song about ripping up your picture … blah blah moving on. I think it’s by Pink or something… It’s like she’s just trying to piss me off so I’ll divorce her. Well flip it it’s working… if she was respectful at least in front of me I could handle it. I’m tired of her trying to piss me off. I don’t know that’s how it seems.

Am I overreacting?


H 30 (me)
W 28
Married 9 yrs
2 children
EA found out on 7/5/07
ILYBNILWY 8/25/07
The unexamined life is not worth living -Socrates
lester #1199147 09/13/07 01:27 PM
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Lester,

I'm missing something here.

She's married to you and planning on taking YOUR children with her lover on a vacation?

STOP!!!!

Time to put your foot down. She can't bring the kids into this.

---Theoden




lester #1199153 09/13/07 01:31 PM
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I don't know if you are overreacting, but it sounds like you are giving her exactly what she is looking for. My response to all of that would be... pause to remain calm.... "now why would you say that?" or "why would you ask me that?"

Don't expect any compassion from her regarding the accident. In fact, don't expect anything from her.

I need to say that her taking the kids to be around this person, in my opinion, is absolutely unacceptable. This is where I would draw the line. My wife's BF lives 300 miles away, and I believe that only the four-year-old has seen him through a car window. But I will not permit them to be around him until D is final.


Me: 48
Divorce final May 2010
B: 19
B: 15
G: 9


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Well she's looking at the website to plan it. I can't put my foot down on something she hasn't concretely done much less told me about. yes i'm snooping on the internet history. Haven't touched her phone since I said I wouldn't about a month ago.

I agree absolutely that she can not do that. here's the thing she acts all smiley and says she loves me then does crap behind my back. She said last night that the ideal thing would to stay married to me but she wants me to have the whole her and she's undecided. Well shoot then drop your BF and concentrate on me it's a no-brainer... at least I think.


H 30 (me)
W 28
Married 9 yrs
2 children
EA found out on 7/5/07
ILYBNILWY 8/25/07
The unexamined life is not worth living -Socrates
lester #1199168 09/13/07 01:46 PM
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Lester,
Hey I live in Arkansas, let me know where she will be and I'll go make life miserable for her! Do you know what city she is planning on visiting. I live in central Arkansas so I'm pretty close to all of the hot spots, if you can say we have any hot spots, LOL.

Who are these people that we are married to? They have no regard for anyone except themselves. They don't even stop to think of what effect this immoral life they are leading has on the children.




Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.
-- Bernice Johnson Reagon


lester #1199172 09/13/07 01:48 PM
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Oh man! I know that feeling. I heard from OW's H that my H and OW were dreaming of going away with ALL the kids for the weekend. Oh yeah, so not going to happen, even if I have to completely piss off H and get legal on his A$$. I feel your pain. You have to be completely unaffected by what she is saying. Like theo said, acknowledge it with a calm response, and let it go. Then go outside and kick a tree. I am sorry about your accident. Isn't it sad when they are so unfeeling?

LL44 #1199175 09/13/07 01:49 PM
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Oh totally hire yoyo!!! She can bring some misery on them!!

LL44 #1199196 09/13/07 02:00 PM
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mark,

I'm not superman. I responded as calm as I could she could tell I was pissed at the comment though. She asked me what's wrong and I told her. Part of my GAL is working on my openness instead of bottling so normally I would just say nothing's wrong and move on. I told her I knew she was joking but I just didn't find it funny at the moment.

I mean really if she's thinking of me sleeping with others how far off is she.. I don't think I want to marry again just take my kids to alaska or something and raise them right and away from the psycho-tics (psycho and lunatic combined).

I know the book answers I'm just in a tailspin right now and knew you guys would understand.


H 30 (me)
W 28
Married 9 yrs
2 children
EA found out on 7/5/07
ILYBNILWY 8/25/07
The unexamined life is not worth living -Socrates
lester #1199197 09/13/07 02:01 PM
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yoyo, she was looking at magic springs or something like that.


H 30 (me)
W 28
Married 9 yrs
2 children
EA found out on 7/5/07
ILYBNILWY 8/25/07
The unexamined life is not worth living -Socrates
lester #1199198 09/13/07 02:02 PM
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That is in Hot Springs. It is an amusement/water park.




Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.
-- Bernice Johnson Reagon


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