Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Real sucky day

Does he is live in Hot Springs? Hot Springs is the big tourist attraction in AR.

how do you all have patience like that? She's in the same house still says ILY but somehow it really seems that things have remained the same since the beginning and now seem to be worse.

Here's what I know... I will be okay in the end (cept maybe financially). I have plans of my own... contingency plans. I dream of a life where I can start my own consulting business (what I really wanted to do all along but couldn't), be very much more careful in finding a mate (way, way more careful), have the kids 50% of the time so I'll have 50% of the time to veg or go fishing or just whatever... no nagging, no baggage.

See we can have fantasies too so blah WAS's! blah dancer15. She sounds like my wife except my wife isn't nearly so conceited but thinking everyone owes her without examining her faults... so my wife's mini-dancer.

I don't know where in arkansas he's from. I've been to arkansas once.. long story he is in the military too so lives on base. I know exactly where his house is, his home phone, etc. But I do need to break the logjam. Progress is one thing but 3 months of stalemate just wears at me.

Okay, this is too much of a coincidence. If he is in the army. That base is two miles from my house. If he's in the air force they have a base in Little Rock.

lester, I don't have the patience for it. I lost it on H the other night when his phone rang twice while we were discussing our kids. Granted I stayed calm, but I should have walked away. I spent all summer trying to fix things, H was pleasant, but I come to learn that the whole time, the A was going on behind my back. Talk about patience, or lack of? I felt like such a schmuck. Still do.

And yes, everything you said about being fine (even great) is very true. Its great you have that outlook. But funny thing is, we still want our WAS's back, that's what would make our new life even better.

Lester,

Ok...the weepy Theo is taking a break and the forceful Theo is coming back.

Brace yourself. Here come the lists.

1. NO f*cking way is she taking the kids on a vacation with him. Why don't you suggest going with her to HOt Spings? Dude, there are many ways to stop this from happening. You can insist on going. You can ask her if she's meeting HIM there. Does she know that you are aware of OM? If you need to reveal your snooping, so be it. You can get a court order if need be. THE KIDS ARE NOT GOING ON A VACATION WITH YOUR WIFE AND HER LOVER. Did I say that loud enough?

2. If he's in the military, he can get fired is he's involved in adultery. The military has strict rules. DO you realize how much power you have in this situation?

3. Now step back. Breathe. You don't need to launch you missles yet.

4. When it comes to their relationship, you can't really change things. But when it comes to your kids, you need to set boundaries. The OM in my situation is afraid that I might get violent if he comes near my kids. I may be out of shape, but I'm supernaturally stong and quick for my size.

Oh by the way I love you dude. All DB men have a place in my large and expansive heart. Yes, contrary to what my wife says, I have a big heart. The kind of heart that would make any decent woman feel safe in.

And you know what, Lester? YOU have a huge heart. You are trying to save you marriage.

Shine brightly

--Theoden

theo, well said.

And don't forget that Dad-strength would totally kick in if someone tried anything around your kids!!!

Well here's the thing. I don't know if it's a plan or she's just looking it up. There were no orders placed just a visit to the site. I don't like snooping but I'd hate to have the one insight into what's going on (she doesn't talk about it much anymore) to go away. On the other hand, if I saw something that indicated she booked a flight or what not. My crazy can kick in fast!

Maybe I can make that boundary of no kids around him without mentioning the vacation.

As far as I know they haven't fkd. I think she's been perhaps bill clinton with her boundaries as far as what's cheating but of course you can never know. cheaters lie and liars cheat. She's told me about physical contact every time (at least that's what's claimed). Although they work together and I strongly suspect that they spend a lot of time together chatting although that's denied.

What happens with the military is without proof of adultery not much can be charged on those grounds. However, what typically happens is suspicions are brought up and then the individuals are ordered by their commanders not to have further contact with each other under "unprofessional relationships/conduct". People typically get charged under disobeying a direct order/insubordination under the general article of the UCMJ. This leaves commanders with pursuing administrative action such as UIF, denial of orders, reduction in pay, forced move to another base, etc. or it could be taken to a courts martial where a jury would decide guilt or innocence and they could be kicked out, confined for a period, etc. Administrative action is far more common.

Hey Lester,

You should really mess with your wife's mind. There is big festival going on in my city called Smoke on the Water. It's a BBQ cook off with concerts, amusement rides, etc. There will also be a concert with the lead singer from Styx.

You should tell her you think you might just go to AR this weekend that's there a big festival going on there you would like to attend.