BTW Olive congratulations on making it to piecing! I had a good feeling about your situation. I hope things are going smoothly... or not too bumpy. Piecing has it's own ups and downs.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Thanks ROOT - I am feeling like a complete crazy person lately. Emotional breakdowns like you wouldn't believe! And, personally - I think he needs to see it sometimes!!!
I don't think my H was lying about it being better with me. In fact OW's sexual R with her own H was not good and we came to the conclusion it was down to OW. To get really personal about the b!tch - she had no pelvic floor so was real flappy!!! She also wasn't very co-ordinated.
I must mention that she has given birth to 4 kids. She could be a-flappin'. I'm the only other one my H has ever been with (believe it or not!), so he has no one else to compare to.
Actually, to get *really* personal, he was the one w/the dysfunction. He even considered buying some little blue pills or the herbal version.
He had no problem w/me, though! ;-)
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” - Matthew 19:6
In my sitch, we were/are still living together and there were other positives. HOWEVER, we also got to the point where things weren't changing and my H wasn't making a decision one way or another. So, I guess my point is that in some situations it can be a good thing but you must be open to cutting your H off if it doesn't seem to be bringing him closer to you.
Unfortunately, we're separated, and he's *officially* moving in w/the OW this weekend. When we were living together, our s*x life didn't change a bit until things got physical w/OW.
I just realized that withholding s*x can be a part of my 180. Since lots of ML w/me didn't prevent him from straying when we were together, maybe NOT ML will actually help bring him back. I'm not sure, though, considering the fact that he'll have a L/I OW down the street.
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” - Matthew 19:6
I have used DBing tactics since we got back together. I was sort of using them anyway. The whole thing made me do a 180 anyway to save my marriage. Doing Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with a clinical psychologist really helped aswell.
If the problem was with him but it's ok with you maybe his conscience is getting to him!!! My H did have a bit of trouble himself and he did put some of it down to guilt. It's good if they feel guilty that way AND he remebers that ML is great WITH YOU. I would be tempted if you want to ML to limit it. Don't let him forget how good it is but don't make it readily available!!!
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
I did CBT to try and alter the way I automatically react in situations and to learn how I can make others react to me differently.
My automatic response to things tends to be on the negative side and I wanted to alter that. I wanted to be able to recognise destructive patterns of behaviour and be able to alter them to get more positive outcomes.
I am finding it very interesting and most useful. Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
