Is it possible that if we got our finances in order and he felt he had some of the things he wanted in life would he remember that he really does love me
Yes, it's possible. Don't underestimate the strains finances put on a R. Also, look at what he DOES more than what he SAYS. Finances may actually be the excuse he uses, when in reality he's still conflicted about the R.
You have the gift here of an opportunity to show him your changes, the opportunity to get on better financial ground (which will certainly help if he DOES leave). You can show him what life could be like if he re-invested in the R.
Just don't do anything that seems like pursuing him. Think of yourself as trying to get a squirrel to eat out of your hand - no sudden moves, no spooking him. Sex is okay - probably good - so long as you don't seem too needy. I got my H to "help me out" with my sexual "needs", being careful not to appear as if he was "giving me the wrong idea" - it worked. Sex releases chemicals in his brain that bond him to you, and that help with depression.
As for your finances - check out http://www.daveramsey.com. Perhaps you could get H excited about doing this program with you?
