Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives I was on my knees begging...and you know the rest.

24 or so, Saturday evening went this way, I went to the dentist to do a deep cleaning of my teeth (right side). My right side of my mouth was still swollen after the procedure and W saw my face looked funny. I asked her what she wanted to eat for lunch and she said bbq but she also said I talked funny. I laughed and she cracked up. W laughed so hard that I was in tears laughing too. We had not had a good laugh like this in a very long time. W even took pics of the way I looked, kinda looking disfigured.

I ordered some bbq for a late lunch since we had a huge breakfast and we werent too hungry. We had lunch together and she really enjoyed that, then W said she has a lot of clothes that needed to be folded up. I went into the bedroom and began folding up the clothes and W sat on the bed and we were talking and she began to help. We have not done this in a very long time too. I felt so happy for once we can coordinate together and not be angry with each other. W said if I can put up the clothes in the dressers too and I did. I cleaned up the kitchen and asked D to help which she like to do.

Later, I told W is was going to church and W said if I can go on Sunday since she didnt wanted to be home alone. I said that is fine and I had planned to have a blockbuster night and eat bbq I had bought for lunch/dinner for us. W said she wanted a drink from Smoothie King so I looked for one and it was 7 miles from our location. W said she wanted to take a little drive since she had been doing her assignments and wanted to get away. I printed the map and we went off. I passed the Smoothie King by 1 block and W was telling me where to u-turn and I didnt listen to her but u-turned in a different direction. Then I was at a light and the street had both paved gravel and paved tar. One of my front tire didnt had good traction of the tar and screached. Immediately, W said 'you cant even control this car...' I said 'damn <@#$%^&*(> acutally held back my thought.' I proceeded to SK and parked the car.

I went into SK and was greeted by a cute college girl and she smiled at me. Im like this is nice from hearing crap about my driving to welcome to SK with a smile. I placed my order and wasnt being nice to the girl but was thinking hmmm I need to come to SK more often. It rebuilded my positive attitude and I went back into the car without being pissy about the comment.

We drove home and D was already asleep so I carried her to her bed. Prior to that, D was in the bedroom after clearing the bed of the clothes and W was telling D to tell me to leave the bedroom. W told her to tell Daddy to go away, D didnt do it and D said, mommy dont tell daddy to go away. D keep on telling W not to be telling daddy about anything and W was just shocked. Then D hugged me and kiss me on my cheek and held me so tight while looking at mommy and just being attached to her daddy.

I didnt tell W nothing about this but W made a smart remark by saying when daddy left then it was only you and I. As if D can remember so. I didnt even got into that conversation but it made me feel so special that D and I are closer than ever. I spend a lot of time with D and D is always out with me on weekends.

This is a good example of why I am willing to work on the M & R cause I cannot see our D hurt at this young age, D can go back to W and tell her that if H was willing to try even after he did all those things, why didnt you atleast try to work with him (whenever D gets older she can understand). I will left this decision up to W. As to I wont hold any guilts for W not wanting to make this right for our family. I dont instill on our D that mommy and daddy will not live together as to she is too young to understand.

I rememeber when I was 3 1/2 yrs old when my mom immigrated to US and I cried and cried. By 6, I could not recall who was my mom, I knew I had one but all my memories had faded. My grandmother was the mother I knew. I dont want to see this happend to our D and this is what I am trying to stress to my W. But W isnt seeing this in this perspective.

W is planning to leave within 14 days to be exact is approx 11 days from now. W is all excited by I am only playing it by ear. I cannot stop her and I cannot do a LRT on her. W needs to make the decision to forgive me and to start the healing process. Alone I have put in a lot of efforts.

Lastnight, W said her computer is not doing any updates. I asked her if she checked all her settings. W said yes but continued to say that ' did you f***** with my computer?' I said damn and shut up. I said positive attitude J, positive attitude. I left that guilt feeling up to her. W has her computer password protected and her cell phone too. If you dont have anything to hide, then why all the protection. W knows I can get into her cellphone and computer hence the accusations. I can do this if I want to but I chose not to since I dont need to be following up on her every move.

I asked W is she was finished with her assignments she said I should know since I am spying on her. I kept on watching the news and shut up. What a freaking response but its ok I dont need a coronary over her own guilt. I will keep on let her be and make her think that her computer is keylogged and I know everything she does on her computer. Let her have that sense that I know the only way she can come tru any feeling of guilt is to give me information I dont know.

I am sorry to hear about all that spewing! Its sounds like to me she take you for granted. What happens when you stop helping her w/ all the chores and being so nice? You did good in your NOT reacting! Keep it up!

W wont do anything, she said its MY home and not OUR home.



Just trying to do what's best without getting angry.

It sounds like you do more than your share and more than most husbands! You cook, do laundry AND fold,take care of your D. What does she do?

Have you seen a pattern w/ these WAS and us LbSrs? The WAS take and take and we give an give.

W said she's not a HW and I dont want her to be one. I have always did my part and if she wanted to do anything else that was up to her but I havent asked her to do anything. It has always been that way and she did more before she was legal to work. Then I was supportive in any direction and still supportive now.

Yep I agree.

Today my apt mgmt called. Interesting and unexpected call. They asked how long is W living with me. I didnt know what to say as to I was shocked. Then they said that they had an inquiry about her from July so I said she has been living with me since then. They said that I voilated my lease and can be evicted. They said the mgr will call me tomorrow. I emailed W and told her what's going on. All W said was she was sorry and she will be moving out on the 28th. I told her that I really dont have a choice since I never told them that you were even visiting and now stayed her since July. I am sure that the only choice I have is to get a 2 bedroom apt here but W said I will be stuck with a 2 bedroom apt when I only need one.

Now w said it will be okay for me to move in with her. I told her what other choice do I have now. I just resigned my lease a week ago but it dont matter now. I told W I dont have any money to move or intended to move. In any direction, we will move either if mgr tell me to get a 2 bedroom or they evict me.

I will let W feel guilty about this since we never discuss where she will be moving to as she didnt wanted to let me know. Now I know and its not in my favor. I wondered what she told OM about this. Kinda interesting now.

W said that her new place I can stay temporarily. I guess I can stay 9 months and then tell her I am moving out just the same how she did to me. Look at this, all W's stuff is in storage. I will move all that stuff out simply to put all of mine in. Its like a revolving door. God works in mysterious ways!

I will know for sure tomorrow what options I have and they know what to do.