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Well, didn't notice my last thread locked -- gonna start a new one here, but will likely move over to the "Surviving the Big D" forum sometime this weekend.

Just wanted to make a quick update.

I texted my W yesterday about the cell phone bill and whether or not I needed to pay it (got a text from the company saying payment was due).

She called me back a few hours later and said she got my text, and that she just got paid but that it would be helpful if I did pay it. I said okay.

Then she said that she was going to have our phone bill split into 2 separate accounts, and was also going to get our car insurance split (I've been paying for both of us since we separated). I said that was fine -- that I'm ready when she is, and that I just wanted to make sure she was financially ready to make the split. She said that it's fine and she can do it now.

We then talked about some logistics regarding the kids and scheduling, and then said goodbye. Everything was very civil and good. No negative feelings or talking on either side. I was happy about this (and impressed), since last time we talked it was me saying I wasn't going to give her the money from the house.

I'm glad she brought up the separating of the bills, because I was wanting to do that but didn't want to do it right now since I just took away the money offer. Thought it would be way to harsh and maybe seem pretty mean.

Good stuff, considering -- I'm happy about how things are going.

GD

I think things are going pretty well too. It is great that she is still being civil with what is going on. I like that she is initiating splitting the bills too, rather than waiting for you to do it. Maybe she is starting to examine herself a bit and is deciding to take some responsibility here.

Thanks for updating, GD!

I'd like to think so. I mean, we originally weren't going to do this until the D was final, but she's getting the ball rolling now, even though the D date has been pushed to Dec 7th. Looks like she's been thinking about something regarding her choices. Whatever it is, I'm glad we can begin separating these things now. Her being civil and taking initiatve like she just did will only help our new business R and communication. I know I will be much more likely to help her out in the future if she continues this way.

GD

GD,
Glad you are at least moving in a direction. You know what they say, you can only steer a moving ship! I know you will steer your life in a good direction.
SD

I like the name of your new thread...it fits you I'm glad for you that things are civil, it will make it easier for you and your kids....stay strong...keep dancing christa

Thanks SD and christa!

SD,

Love those words of wisdom from above (talking about the quote above, not the Big Guy, if he exists ). You're like the King of Quotes, or something (besides good 'ol cire!)! I always find the ability to grow with them, though -- and that is certainly of great value!

I'm over in Surviving the Big D now, but my initial post was so long that it has scared everyone off . That's okay though -- I'm not so hard up for support as I was in the early running!

christa,

Thanks for the support -- I also like the name of this thread, though I think it came from you or someone else's quotable quote! Hope things are good for you in your neck of the woods.

GD

GD--
I hope that I find the peace that you seem to have found. Until then, I am faking it till I make it. Every day that passes brings me closer, whether I want to or not.

Keep dancing, GD...

GD,
Can you send me an email at superdadq@yahoo.com with a ph. no where I can reach you? I would like to ask you a few questions about the big D.
Thanks,
SD

GD, you out there?

I'm here!

Thanks Donna!

SD,

I'll be emailing you.


Sorry everyone -- just kind of detaching a lot lately. Don't feel the urge to work on saving my M since I feel like I gave it all I had and W still wants out. I think I finally hit that line where I felt I did everything I could, and am now focusing on NOT focusing on my W. It is sad, but I feel it is necessary for me to get back to me and what I and I alone want for my life. I am still reading up on people and their sitches, but am finding less energy to invest in the whole process (posting to others, too, unfortunately).

I've learned a lot about myself while here, and have taken great strides to improve my character with the help of this site. I know I can do better still, but I'm happy with the path I'm on in this regard. DBing will always be a part of me because it is so broad in its application. DBing is a R technique that can be used in fostering and strengthening all types of R's, and at the very least it has helped me step back, reflect, and empathize before opening my big mouth.

GD