The internal meltdown was related to the "me doing everything and not being appreciated" thoughts. I need a "temperament transplant" myself. OK now.
Yep, Textbook CVA. All this stuff is important to me and for my kids too, i.e. I would do it if she were not around so....that is why I am pissed at myself for being irritated that I dont get "atta boys".
My W does a lot, she just does it at her own pace. When I am not around, it all gets done, just not on CVA time. More like Geologic time, but I have been told I am super hyper and need everything done yesterday. Ummmmm, that would be a true statment and working on that one. A friend of mine, who worked for me and was a captain of a college Golf team, and I were walking the course one day and I was complaining about this very topic, and he said, look at how we walk, talk, do business, look at us right now (we were walking down the fairway), "we just do life at a different speed." He was younger but so much wiser than me at the time (story of my life, I am about 10-15 yrs behind everyone else). Pt being, I dont slow down easy and although others like W have no real issues, my expectations are just way too high of other people, let alone myself. What a copout line, eh? What a load, working on that one too.
Wish me luck, W was supposed to go to the "girls night out bday party", it got called off but....interestingly she called me (after I already found out from super hot friend at the gym) to tell me it was called off but that the remainder of the booby crew still wanted to go to dinner since it was alrady planned and "was it alright w/ me or is there just too much going on, I wanted to call you before I responded". I just said "uh, yeah, already planned (to watch you walk out the door looking hot...did not say that one ;)) to watch the kids so sure..."
She started the call w/ "what are u doing",. "just got to work, what's up?" then the whole thing about tonight. Fascinating...when she wants something from me its all miss nicey nicey. How about making an effort like this all the time, I suspect we would not be where we are if both of us had made these efforts.
This was longer than I thought, sorry, thanks for checking in.
C
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
cva, have you heard of the word placid, cool, calm and collected. You should listen to Mix 96.5 and forget Hip-hop 97.9 - LOL.
Anyways, stop the rant and go out too with the boys dont you all play golf, go to the casino, prob a few hours aways - get a designated driver. I remembered on of my former boss was D and for his age he was very muscular. Im like who the hell Tony is trying to pick up not knowing I will have to do the same thing too.
Besides Tony only dates any woman under the age of 35 - so he does get some MILF. I better start putting some MILF on my radar too.
See the W, Listen to the W, but dont Speak back to the W. Bridle your tongue...
hey now chicki, you're back on we missed you. I have been looking not only at the W but also at co-workers. Why cant I just go out and boom walked into a new person? Oh yeah, Im still M. That wont happend!
See the W, Listen to the W, but dont Speak back to the W. Bridle your tongue...
Oh yeah, I know you, CVA! (Are you my father?) You're the guy jogging by the window while on your cell phone while mowing the lawn while planning the weekend while making a mental list of the 8,000 things you're going to accomplish by the end of the day while I'm in the cafe sipping a latte not thinking about much. This used to make me feel like a complete slug, but as I began to appreciate my zen pace more (instead of beating myself up for it) I began to appreciate your yin to my yang. Maybe you can, too.
Originally Posted By: CVA
my expectations are just way too high of other people, let alone myself. What a copout line, eh? What a load, working on that one too.
Great! I think appreciating what W does and who she is will go a long way there.
Originally Posted By: CVA
"was it alright w/ me or is there just too much going on, I wanted to call you before I responded". I just said "uh, yeah, already planned (to watch you walk out the door looking hot...did not say that one ;)) to watch the kids so sure..."
How about, "Hey, I appreciate you checking with me. Sure, it's fine, have a great time"?
Originally Posted By: CVA
I suspect we would not be where we are if both of us had made these efforts.
"when she wants something from me its all miss nicey nicey" - C'mon CVA - get your attitude out of the half empty side of the glass! She was calling you to make sure that you were still OK watching the kids even though her plans changed - that would be the perfect place for you to tell her that you appreciate her calling.
I totally get everything you are saying about how you feel that you need recognition/appreciation for the things that you are doing - but you have to remember that you are the one trying to win her back at this point so to speak...
You guys / girls know how to snap me back to reality.
Weird mood today, all fun and happy, calm before the storm? OK that was half empty. Just being fun with things today, out of town tomorrow
Yes, I actually will thank her for calling and tell her to have a good time, no matter WHAT she is wearing?
I'm a big talker, little action though on the female side.
And no PUDDLE, I am not your father, ouch! Although you did just perfectly describe my day
CVA out.
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Lolz, I bet you would bite your tongue to be telling your Orange County wife to go have a good time, freaking Texans cant control their fillies - what the hell! I need to pull out the bull whip -naw kidding.
cva, had his PMS today not PMA - hehe.
See the W, Listen to the W, but dont Speak back to the W. Bridle your tongue...
Puddle I just re-read what you said. Wow do you have me pegged. Scary.
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Puddle, I just re-read what you said. Wow do you have me pegged. Scary.
Sorry, CVA, didn't mean to wig you out! (And I'm not your W, in case you were wondering... )
You alpha folks can be really intimidating, especially to someone who doesn't have a strong sense of self. Extroversion, assertiveness, etc, are all so highly valued in our society that it can be difficult for someone who's an introvert, more passive, etc NOT to compare him- or herself unfavorably to you alphas.
There's room for all of us, though, and as someone mentioned, two alphas together don't necessarily make a great combo. A type B who's secure within him- or herself and in the love of a type A partner can stretch and thrive, I think. But a B who's insecure in one or both areas will probably feel threatened.
Off on a tangent, here. Nothing wrong with being type A, of course, but man, it wears me out just to watch you guys!
OK now. 
A friend of mine, who worked for me and was a captain of a college Golf team, and I were walking the course one day and I was complaining about this very topic, and he said, look at how we walk, talk, do business, look at us right now (we were walking down the fairway), "we just do life at a different speed." He was younger but so much wiser than me at the time (story of my life, I am about 10-15 yrs behind everyone else). Pt being, I dont slow down easy and although others like W have no real issues, my expectations are just way too high of other people, let alone myself. What a copout line, eh? What a load, working on that one too. 
still wanted to go to dinner since it was alrady planned and "was it alright w/ me or is there just too much going on, I wanted to call you before I responded". I just said "uh, yeah, already planned (to watch you walk out the door looking hot...did not say that one ;)) to watch the kids so sure..."
)