Email me anytime. I know that feeling, and it's bad.. have you interviewed any attorneys? I don't know what city you are in, but if you want you can email me. I'm related to a family law judge so I may be able to give you the names of some good ones. Gosh mine was a frightening guy!!!!
The more prepared you are for this the better off you will be. It will help give you a sense of control and direction. Get some books on divorce and do some research. I've got one book that's a "must-have" for you. I'll give you the name off-list. Wouldn't want your husband to know this stuff!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
i sent an email this morning. i did talk to a lawyer, we really do not have any money. but already found out how to go about doing it at the courthouse on my own. found out all my rights etc.
with H and I other then the kids there are no assets. We filed bankruptcy a year ago, that H pushed for, now I see why. Both cars are paid off, no debts whatsover. We rent, so no house to seperate. H has a very small amount in his 401k that would not even be worth splitting since we borrowed from it so much, lets just say it is not even enough to really be worth withdrawing.
So we could just file an uncontested divorce and be done. I already know all this, H hasn't even looked into it, from what I know. But I think I am done living in limbo land, and I need him to be faced with the reality of it all.
Please before you file at least talk to H about it. Not tonight but later this week. you are still hot from last night. What must be done must be done but as you told me communication heeds to happen ok?
husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I agree, no need to do it tomorrow. You know it may be what you want and you can focus on learning everything you need to know, and that will empower you for sure.
I am so sorry. That is my biggest fear, OW being involved with my kids (even MORE so) if we separate. But we know we can't change it, all we can do is protect them, be the strong one in the storm, and watch for serious signs of trouble.
HUGS HUGS HUGS and more HUGS!!! I am so sorry. Check in with us so we know you are ok.
(((HUGS))), wow, that is my nightmare, the involvement of the OW. I am so sorry...I really am. and agree, take some time, don't rush, make sure all your ducks are in a row.
good luck, and stay strong.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Yes this was a wake up call definetily. H is going to do what H is going to do and I can just do what I can to be the strong one for my kids. I honestly think at this point divorce for me is inevitable, but I think we will be just fine. Sometimes things happen for a reason. I know all the statistics, but there are alot of issues with my H before all this that I wont go into here. But maybe just maybe God has a better plan for us?
Just wanting you to know I have been reading your thread and that I am here for you. I did buy Divorce for dummies I thought what could it hurt. A friend of mine put it in her Divorce that the OW could not see or be around her kids for 3 years and the judge honored it. I didn't think that they could do that but at least it was for a little while. Hang in there and even thought it is hard to believe..My friends keep telling me that god has a better plan for you...I should hope so for all of us because it is the pits to go thru this.
