Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives CVA - "B,B&B"

Ok, I think all threads lock around the same time.

For all those that have followed my threads, the B,B&B stands for.......Boobs, Butts and Botox

Why? Boob shirts, low rise, thong showing butt jeans and well, you know what Botox is for. No not me folks, my W, except the Botox!

I have no idea why I named it this, just for fun I guess.

Got into a little bit of a jealous funk yesterday. W did not really say much all day, kinda typical for a tired weekend after a long week of homework for her. She just doesnt have the energy I have. To me, you sleep when you die, done. She is of the opinion you have to "catch up on sleep if you have missed it" WRONG!

Anyway, the jealous part came in after nothbing much toward me all day, on the way to dinner, she says, "Oh kids, guess who's bday it is tomorrow?, it your uncle's!" All happy and smiles. I am like, F that, I barely get a card and a Happy Birthday (not exxagerating. On my 40th, she wasnt even in town, she was in dallas visiting her family. Resent that one, you bet!

So I go silent for not 2 minutes in the car and I get "whats wrong". I truly dont think she understands that I actually have a feeling or two left inside. OK, so a LITTLE TOO FOCUSED ON WHAT W SAID, I KNOW, NEEDY CVA WAS OUT, SO KILL ME ALREADY!


However, as I have said recently, snapped out of it within a few minutes and back to happy Zen Daddy. Thanks NA!

Yes ended the evening with our usual! BR (that's a new term here, Back Rub!)

Gotta go try and do something fun! See ya

I love your boob shirts reference! I need to get out more as mine are collecting dust. Funny when I was home they were in rotation now that I am separated they just sit there in a trash bag that I haven't even bothered to unpack.

Anyway I took a break from here to clear my head.

How are things going on your search for a new bigger place? Did you make any decisions or make any headway with W on the subject? I do agree with you that taking the kids a couple days a week to a place of your own could be a good thing. Esp since you have been pretty much spending all the time at your house with W but just not sleeping there. Maybe its time to up the anty. She may need to see what its like with you really not there? I don't know maybe I am wrong but I think you are on to something here. Give her more space and see where it leads? Esp since it seems like you are stuck in the same cycle without any steps forward. Who knows if you make it clear that is your next step she may finally realize that you are practically living at home with her anyway.

I love your boob shirts reference! I need to get out more as mine are collecting dust. Funny when I was home they were in rotation now that I am separated they just sit there in a trash bag that I haven't even bothered to unpack.

Anyway I took a break from here to clear my head.

How are things going on your search for a new bigger place? Did you make any decisions or make any headway with W on the subject? I do agree with you that taking the kids a couple days a week to a place of your own could be a good thing. Esp since you have been pretty much spending all the time at your house with W but just not sleeping there. Maybe its time to up the anty. She may need to see what its like with you really not there? I don't know maybe I am wrong but I think you are on to something here. Give her more space and see where it leads? Esp since it seems like you are stuck in the same cycle without any steps forward. Who knows if you make it clear that is your next step she may finally realize that you are practically living at home with her anyway.

Thanks WAW

CVA needs to kick his ass and stop wanting affirmation from his W and family for what he does. What an idiot, why would you (CVA) expect this? That would be the defn of crazy. CVA needs to do things only if he expects nothing in return, no lists, that is what the problem was before.

Thanks for that CVA

No I am not insane or schizo, just needed a PMA boost after a morning filled with me doing everything, no plan by
W as usual and kids acting up.

Why am I intersted in her anyway? Kind of wondering this in last 48 hrs. Oh yeah, I married her and made a decision to have 4 kids with her.

C

Ah ha, a fellow alpha Male!

CVA I can't remember all the details of your sitch - sorry. The affirmation thing was massive for me. Please note that in the following I am not trying to sound big-headed nor am I boasting.

(My friend: I arrived back from war and WAW was in Spain!)

Affirmation: to state positively!

If you are an Alpha Male (A man who holds strong influence over the activities of a group and to whom others defer.) then none of this will be a surprise. Alpha Males reign, and expect recognition.

In my case recognition of some (substantial and difficult) achievements resulted in "Well, I wouldn't expect anything else of you Steve".

So, it makes the whole 180 thing a little more difficult for the Alpha male. Doing a 180 suggests doing something different that would surprise your (ex) partner. For the alpha male this is impossible. When the relationship started the alpha male was dominant and, indeed, did '180's' of his own accord - not requiring permission or succeding to demand. Therefore the female could 'only' expect a huge level of perfection from her partner - DESPITE what he did - and certainly no affirmation required - BECAUSE IT WAS NEVER NEEDED BEFORE! Whatever the male was doing he was doing well - this could be family, hobby, friends etc etc.

Wow
Bdad, Me thinkest you are right!

17 yrs of no affirmation, an occasional "oh, thats nice" or worse "you cant do that but my dad can!!!" Eff you!! Here is a big one, "you couldnt be president, you couldnt handle the pressure" ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! The Presidency has nothing on Investment Bankers, trust me.

Anyhow, what is killing me recently during this Fing sitch is me running around taking care of OUR house 24/7 and for some reason expecting W to say, "wow, you the man!". Not likely so why do I do it? I think I must be Obsessive about being clean. Not compulsive mind you, just everything needs to be done, lights, AC, plumbing whatever + when our full time maid is not here, guess who cleans the house, laundry, pool, yard (when yard guy misses something).

I am freakin awesome or crazy, probably both. She actually used this once as an excuse why I make her feel powerless. Well, get off your ass and do something before I get to it, that would be nice!

OK, my tirade is over, back to bathing the kids, cleaning then if I get lucky, 30 minutes of a movie and a backrub.

Thanks for listening.
C

Hi CVA,

Love the new thread title! I am an "alpha female" who need "words of affirmation" so I can relate. Hope your evening ends on a good note!

question, do Alpha Males / Females work together? Should that be a first date question?

I would say no, they wouldn't work well together. Two control freaks trying to take charge all of the time would cause a lot of conflict, don't you think?

I guess that would be a good first date question, but you're not thinking of dating, are you?

cva, I like the name of your thread. Anyways to continue on your b,b & b, let me inteject a few of my rants.

Boobs - W dont have too much healthy and obese twins but living and slender twins are good. LOL.

Butt - W said its way too big, well anything is better than nothing, she can work on that if she tries.

Botox - not in her game plan, W said there is no need to artificially render the need for your body to remedy its flaws.

MMH says I wonder why b, b & b should be affliated with Hooters, perhaps cva should have a Hooter's forum.