I'm beginning to see what people mean when they say the crap never ends.
My atty said I could send in some of the forms myself to spilt one of our accounts. So I talked to the broker, wrote the letter they needed and I just need exW to sign it to get it done. Will she do that? Of course not. She is all in a tizzy that I am screwing her and said that for all future financial discussions, her atty will need to be involved. It's all in the court docs to do this, but she has to make everything a federal case. I told my atty to back away from all this, so I don't have to pay her for the nonsense. If exW wants to keep her atty in the loop, fine with me, but I'm not paying mine for this.
Next, I paid exW the entire month of CS when my auto-deduct hadn't yet kicked in. On the 20th it finally did and so I had essentially paid for the last 10 days of the month twice. I sent a note telling exW how much she owed me back.
Not so fast. Now, she isn't sure there isn't some reason she shouldn't keep the money. "Is it paid in arrears, or something?'" she innocently asks. The b!tch. All of a sudden she's a stupid female, waving her MBA at me. She "has to check with her lawyer." I really hate this crap, it makes my stress meter peg. I really need the cash because my budget is crushed with this, and she's dorking me around.
The thoughts to f her over are overwhelming. There are plenty of accounts that could suddenly have the money come out of them. So far I have totally taken the high road, but it is very, very hard for me not to retaliate.
I guess they are right, it never ends. But I'll tell you what: I will never trust her with any of my money again.
built4speed My Saga "How others deal with the gifts you've given is not your decision, but theirs." - Richard Bach
Hell hath no fury and all that. It's surprising every time too, isn't it? Seems those lines you thought were pretty clear suddenly don't exist for them anymore. I'm really sorry you have to go through this.
While I'm not there....yet.....I can feel your frustartion, bro. You wonder how it could have ever gotten here. And who loses???? your kids, of course.
How are your kids doing? When I think of my kids, it rips my heart out. I get the I haven't built memories...blah, blah,balh, but that's seems so insignificant now (especially being in Salah din Province, Iraq!! They should not be forced to go through this. You, like me, love your kids, value the intatc family, and would crwal over broken glass to have saved it. WTF is wrong with these women????? Your sitch sounds like mine: I have a great civilian job (when I'm NOT in Iraq), great house, wonderful neighborhood, great friends in the neighborhood, 3 kids (who have their own issues now, of course).
You have to wonder: Where does it get any better for these women? Of course, my W. is at home in CT, living off of my tax-free salary, hostile fire pay, separation pay, drinking $30 bottles of wine. what's not to like.
FaithfulH had it right: all we can change is ourselves. As a Special Forces friend told me about my W: "F..her. Throw her under a bus, worry about your kids". That's not me, but I get it!
Oh well, bets of luck: stay away from the 40+ women with the midlife-tattoo at the base of their spine (again...WTF?)and the 400 pound smokers...LOL! You still doing marathons?
Thanks, guys. No marathon this year, probably next year, however. Too many other stresses to add 20 milers on the weekend to it.
I still get to have fun with running, however. D14 is a freshman in HS and is third on Varsity cross country. That is not to say they have a slow team: one of the kids on her team won the 1600m in track at state a few years ago. They have a shot to win at state in six weeks. It is sooo exciting. A couple of the kids are not taking this too seriously and the coach asked me to talk to them to get them on the program. I'm preparing my talk now. How to keep the interest of a dozen high school girls for 20 minutes? Not easy, I'm afraid.
I don't have the kids this weekend, and to be honest it's a relief. I am going to D14s race Saturday, but no other plans. I think I'll keep it that way. Go Bears!
built4speed My Saga "How others deal with the gifts you've given is not your decision, but theirs." - Richard Bach
I'm missing my D15s sophomore year as well. She starting on varsity soccer as a sophomore. She hates when w goes to her games, or hs in the past. I'm super proud of her. S9's hoceky season will be gone in a flash as well. Man, they don't deserve this. Divorce is the cruelest thing one person can do to another AND a family. These kids will forever be saddened by not having an intact family. Dating sounds like it su*ks. You never know hat kind of damaged goods you're getting!
I would like to add that I also dread the idea of going out and dating. I get asked out now and then and it should feed my ego but it does not. My heart still says I am married even though my ring is off my finger. I also am insecure about all the idiosyncracies one aquires when they are married. OK, you know leaving your bra on the towel bar, putting a tissue on an open soda can for your spouse, all those things you get to do because your spouse is supposed to love your quirks. Yeah, those things have to get swept away when you date someone new, right? There are a lot of damaged goods out there. It is true. But we all kind of are damaged goods but with a soul and experience, so stay positive.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
Huh, that's interesting about your wedding ring MK. Is that realtively new, going along with some of the relatively new decisions you've made?
Sometimes I wonder if I want my M to work so bad so I don't have to go back out and date again, precisely because of what MK said. I have a lot of quirks and it took me a long time to fully share all of them with my W. I don't look forward to the idea of having to do that again because each time you open up about one of them, it's like shinning a light on an insecurity and inviting the other person to stare.
It's good to hear your experiences B4S, kind of takes some of the unknown out of it.
They should not be forced to go through this. You, like me, love your kids, value the intatc family, and would crwal over broken glass to have saved it. WTF is wrong with these women????? Your sitch sounds like mine: I have a great civilian job (when I'm NOT in Iraq), great house, wonderful neighborhood, great friends in the neighborhood, 3 kids (who have their own issues now, of course).