I got my daughter. I have packed our bag. Tommorow morning we are getting out of here, for parts unknown. I havent decided where we are going yet other than the general direction of north. Daughter wants to stay in a motel.....works for me.
Wife can come here and do her thing tommorow. When me and girl get homes Sunday, gonna take a few deep breaths before I open the door. Then start putting my life back together.
Tonight, I say good bye to my cats, as she is taking them too. I will miss them, but I dont think too much, as they have been tearing up my house........who knows in time I may get another one.
Tommorow going do my very best to keep my PMA up, and make this a good get away for my daughter......and myself. I really cant afford it.......but I think I really need to be out of here.
Well on the outside I feel ok. Its just that my stomach is in a freaken knot right now. Going to keep looking forward for the next 36 hours. Going to do right by my daughter. She did ask me tonight why I wanted to get away tommorow. I told her "If I am there when your mommy starts moving stuff out I will lose my freaken mind!" Then she really made me laugh........she said....."Works for me!" LOL
Gonna make sure I give each of them damn cats a hug before we leave tommorow. I hope they are as good to her place as they were to mine!!!
Hope I can get at least 6 good hours of sleep tonight!!
Good move, walk out and have some fun. Expect the feelings to come rushing back. I left for the evening and arrived home, I was furious when I walked in and saw the emptiness, although I know you have been doing well replacing items. Well my friend with me started laughing so hard we couldn't stop. After a few minutes it was sort of oh well.
Get that sleep and enjoy the time with your daughter.
I know its only stuff. I not so worried about that really. What it is, is the message behind it........this is another thing that points to the permancy of this thing. I am growing more accepting of it.......it just sucks, thats all.
Good Morning. Happy M Day (move day). I actually got some fairly decent sleep last night. Going to get my arse in gear and get me and daughter out of here in the next 2 hours. Places to go things to see.
I did get to thinking about what I said last night. "The message behind this......." I think she is making it painfully clear. In less than 2 weeks I plan on talking to her. Going to have the forbidden "R" talk to, its be too long since we talked about anything. It is time to put some clarity on this situation.
I am going to take my time to truly consider my words before we talk, but I want to get from her where she views the future of our relationship. I will also express my views to her. I plan to keep my emotions in check.
Anyhow, I am going to really try hard to clear my mind of all of this [censored] today, and go have some fun with my daughter!! I hope you all have a slendid Saturday. I will check in tommorow night, hopefully this computer will still be here!!!!
NDDT - what are you trying to accomplish? This sounds like it is just for you - so that you can put some stuff out there. If that is what it is for..that is fine. Just realize that doing so, you will most likely push her further away.
I'm going to let you in on something...you have a D right? Well...as a toddler...if you took her to the playground and she started run away - what would she do if you chased her? She'd probably keep running right? But what would happen if you stood there or even turned around? If you showed enough paitience...she would most likely come after you.
Now, I'm not saying that your wife will turn around if you do...but if you keep chasing her with R talks...she's going to keep running.
"but if you keep chasing her with R talks...she's going to keep running."
Swash.... there has been zero, none, nada relationship talks since early May. The closest thing to any type of talk like this was 3 weeks ago, I did say to her that "I am still open and willing to work on our relationship" to which she responded, "I dont know what to say to that"
I am not going to do this talk today. It is between 1 and 2 weeks off. But it is time to get at least some sort of status check here. I have been silent and patient for going on 5 months here. The only thing I have gotten are signs that she is moving further and further away. Not what I want, but if this is the way it is to be......well it is time for me to take my head out of the sand and face the reality of it. It is time.
Who knows? Maybe this talk will yeild something positive? At the least I should have a better direction after it. Like I said, it is a bit off, and I plan on doing some serious reflecting before this, consider exactly what I want to say and what I want to ask. I plan on keeping emotions in check. No anger. No tears. But consider it more of a fact finding mission........
I hope that you do not think I am ignoring your advice....I am not.. I have always place a lot of value on what you have said to me, and have always and will always strongly consider what you say. This is something I need to do for me, (and my daughter). It is time.
Your planned talk is up to you. But, I think it will be a mistake. She will talk to you if and when she is ready. Anything you do prior to that is going to push her away. You are the one wanting the talk. You want it to hopefully clarify where you stand with her and for you to tell her where she stands with you. There has been not R talk since may, yet she is still moving. That should tell you where she stands right there. You think her being moved out for a mere two weeks is going to change how she feels. Not likely. Her new space is only going to start to allow her think about herself and her wants and desires for the future. Two weeks after she moves out, she will only have begun to start her thought process. Maybe two months from now, she will have a better idea of where she stands.
I don't know how many times I have told myself and others have told themselves, "I am going to have this conversation with no anger, no resentment, no yelling etc. just a calm productive talk." Hah, it never happens, especially when both parties are not ready for the conversation. You intentions are honorable, but not very realistic.
My .02. Do not have the talk no matter how much YOU need it or how effective or productive YOU think it will be. She will talk when she is ready and wants to, not before then.
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
NDDT Agree, don't do it. There will be a time when you NEED to have the talk if she has not come to you but truly don't believe it is NOW. You want it for sure, but unlikely to do anything productive
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
I agree with what others said re the R talk. I came to realize that even when I felt different and couldn't understand things that were said to me on this board (I did understand the words, I just wasn't able to get a peak outside of my own pain), the advices given were sound and when I look/read back I know that I if I had followed them my M would probably be in a better place than now. Have a good day with your D, when you get home think about this board, you know that you are not alone ... there are quite a few people here following your sitch and thinking of you.
