now taht is funny! thank you for making me laugh!!
i had to be around him tonight and do have a plan of action for my heart for the future....yes he is worth it. I DONT know why and wish that i would stop it! REALLY! BUT the ride of my heart and who i am deserve to not be destroyed...and that is my goal...
i am in counseling and am in a very good place there. H is going to counseling too...not for US since december he has said he wasn't and didn't want to work on the m...this past month was teh first time in quite some time that he had said he didn't want it to be over...and then he pulled back.
i need to do this for me...and not to get him back. he is an idiot! (\ok i had to spend time with him tonight for daughters bday...no more though no more!!!)
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
It is frustrating to say the least. We are in a similar sitch. Have you seen the movie Husbands and Wives by Woody Allen. The H goes through as similar affair and realizes what an idiot his OW is when he introduces her to his married friends and she tries to convince them of the benfits of astrology and eating tofu.
A person who associates with an older married person may be beyond selfish, they may have had some abuse or loss in their past. Listen to Dr. Drew on Love Lines. He always presumes that these young women with low self esteem have had some sort of sexual abuse or loss in their past. They need a therapist not an affair. What happens is the WS needs to feel better about themselves so they see an OP who is even lower and needier to reflect their manhood. I am conjecturing here.
You must live as though you will be happy on your own. Do not act needy as it will seem manipulative and unattractive. The idea of attracting a H is ludicrous as there used to be a circle of trust that seemed unconditional, but we are no longer dealing with a rational person.
You must know that the OP is truly irrelevant. So is OP age or anything they appear to offer. It could have been anyone. There is nothing special about them so we must not empower them with snooping or tears. Do not glamorize the affair with drama. Be postive and agree. If he says anything, do not try to convince him of the opposite. Just agree within boundaries. If he says, "Our M was a mistake." Do not argue or he will take an even stronger stand in convincing himself he is right. Just agree. Be mysterious and act as if you have a life also. Which I am sure you already do. You don't have to be better looking or go through a MLC yourself. You just have to love yourself and remember who you are. Never give up your self esteem no matter how big the blow is.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
MK you are right on about the ow and i knew that. she is from a divorced home- daddy walked when she was 4, mom has been d 4 times and now (just recently) married her highschool sweetheart who so warmly walked away from his marriage to marry her (isn't that precious! ugh! puke puke!) and yes i know that she fulfills that bs in him...she truly is who i was (in a way another long story) when he and i met.....and he even sees it!
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
You don't have to be better looking or go through a MLC yourself. You just have to love yourself and remember who you are.
Yes, I agree... but a little botox, chemical peels, brow wax, push-up bra, working out at the gym, new clothes from the Junior's despartment in Macy's (or Abercrombie!) never hurts!!!!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
