Re: The H's new home. Hopefully, that will not come to fruition. But remember you cannot be the controling one in this sitch. You can agree and sound positive like, "Wow, that will be great for the kids! We will get to spend time together but have our own homes anddate OP!" That would spin his head round 180! Or you could take the approach that his decisions are his but it would make you more comfortable to have some space and privacy.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
Don't worry about the sex. IT's best to keep all lines of communication open, and sex is a form of communication. But if you are being emotionally hurt by it, then you should not do it. So it is totally up to you. He's your H, she's the one who should feel guilty.
Yes, it may be a language of love for him. Have you read that? My ultimate 180 would be to become a more sexual partner. Kind of hard when WS is having an affair? Am I supposed to date to prove that? That seems like double cheating. But my H is in love with his OW, but I do not think he is loyal to her.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I agree if sex feels right to you then by all means do it. He is your husband. But just be careful with std's out there and all that. You know for me that is one of the biggest things I am so hurt and angry about. If my husband is cheating I will have to worry about that and get a check up. I never thought this was something I would ever have to worry about.
For the past few days, I've been feeling like a failure because I *caved.* I'm treating it like *hey, wasn't that fun!* rather than putting any pressure on him to reconcile.
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” - Matthew 19:6
That's right. Right after he confessed to the PA, we ML and I felt dirty and used. After he moved out, I turned him down every time he wanted s*x. But this time I didn't feel that bad about it, because he seemed to be expressing love, and I kept my emotions out of it.
Last edited by prayingwife247; 09/05/0706:28 PM.
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” - Matthew 19:6
I've heard of *The 5 Love Languages* but I never read it. I read Gary Chapman's other book, *Hope for the Separated.* I got SOME good advice, but I am getting a LOT more out of the DR book and this forum. I noticed that I'm not sharing as much info with my friends and family and more with the DR *community* because everyone here is going through the same kind of stuff.
My well-meaning F/F all want me to move on with my life, but they're not really qualified to give advice.
Don't be hard on yourself BUT.......Being a MAN / Husband. If I was having an affair and still had a wife that was willing to have sex with me I would be in no hurry to end the affair.
Heck even in my current sitch If my W still had sex with me it would be alot easier to deal with the sitch. a woman usualy need emotional needs when she has sex, All most men need is the wind to change.
Just my 2 cents
The GOOD husband
Last edited by husband; 09/05/0706:40 PM.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Yes, I'm GAL ASAP! I'm REALLY shy, and I don't socialize with people other than an occasional church-related potluck or BBQ. Last night at Bible study, I admitted that I really need friends to hang out with, and one of my aquaintences said, *I'll hang out with you!* So, we made a few tentative plans to get together within the next few days. *Yay, God!* :-)
Yes, I AM concerned that he will want to continue the A if I have s*x with him. That's why I'd like to pull back and establish boundaries. Not sure about the timing, though.
This just might be a way of controlling/manipulating me, too.
That's why I'm extremely anxious to GAL ASAP, so I won't be tempted/available.
