Nikki-- I have to catch up on your sitch, too {{{{Nikki}}}} Thanks for sticking with me for so long, through all of your own turmoil...
And I LOVE the FlyLady site! I got really excited about it; hope that it can be the kick in the a$$ that I need to climb on top of the house mountain. I am keeping up, but not smoothly.
H had the kids home on time last night (he has always). They made a picture book inspired by one that we have read and laughed about, and they colored theirs last night. It is so cool to find something that they are both interested in, and we can all do together.
I'm trying to come up with something fun for tonight before their weekend away...maybe the park, might take them to Friendly's...can't be out too late with school tomorrow.
OT - yep, same here. I had to pick and choose the parts that worked for me - some of it was just a little TOO organized, even for my obsessive self! The sink and bed making really do make a difference. I like a lot of the decluttering tips and making "zones" in your house, too.
Donna, that picture book sounds great!
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
The kids came home to a ton of homework, so we knocked off most of that, then ran to Target and out to dinner (Friendly's). Home again, baths and reading books. S is finishing the last of his HW while I settle D down for the night. I have a very full weekend planned, but am still a bit apprehesive about not having at least one of the kids home--they will both be away from right after school until Sun night; I'll have S for about an hour (if I leave work early), and D for about 1/2 hour. I know that the trick will be to stay busy, and that shouldn't be too hard.
***
I received a letter from a good, dear friend today that made my stomach drop out from under me. I have unintentionally hurt her, and am beside myself. She has been so supportive of me in this crisis, and now...Another relationship that I may have ruined...it seems that I have been doing that at every turn for the last few years.
I immediately called and then followed up with an email, but I am not sure if I can reassure her enough. How do I manage to keep doing this to the people who I hold so close to my heart? Between that and my constant obsession with my H leaving (I am afraid that my sadness may be getting old to some of my friends, and I am trying hard to get detached from the sitch not only for my own sanity, but before I drive even more people away), I am afraid of slowly isolating myself. There is also the issue that so many of my friends were mutual friends of H. I feel like a third wheel, akward and uncomfortable with my new single-mom identity. So many don't want to take sides, especially his sibs who I considered family...they have each called once or twice (with the exception of the youngest brother), but it isn't the same, I know. How is it that pain makes other people so uncomfortable? I remember when my mom was dying--no one knows what to say. It feels like they are afraid of catching something...
But this friend was different. She defended me, listened to me, validated my feelings and looked out for me. She has tried so hard to help in any way that she can. And I did something without thinking about the possible effects of my words...yet another instance of wishing that life had a do-over button.
I'm sure a heartfelt apology will work wonders with this friend.
I'm sure you are right that you will lose some friends in this process. But don't forget to count all the new friends that you are making too. We all care about you Donna.
Just got off the phone with LI friend--going to see 2 Broadway shows on Saturday with her special discounts (matinee and evening)--and she is paying :0) I should only have to pay for the train and food for the day :0)
Donna, I know what you mean. That is why I had a thread called Losing Friends. It is one of the odd side effects of seperation. I think one of the best exercises right now is to listen, listen, listen without talking about our sitches or our WS. Being depressed and a LBS makes us extremely self centered and self conscious. Your friend will come around , mine did, and now I have a great support system. we are more than our problems. Look at your life, it is a wonderful except for one thing. Your H had an affair, but you know what, who hasn't? Really.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
