Saffie is right, this thread was an opportunity for Prodigal to tell us how it was with her. No-one can judge whether it was right or wrong as it was personal to her.
I for one have found similarities in my own situation and are using them to work on my M.
Please, please let Prodigal tell her story and let us learn from it.
You shouldn't feel guilty about still wanting to keep in contact with him...he's your husband. And yes, perhaps it's not the best way to get through to him and the no contact approach may be better, but it's hard to get to that point. It doesn't make you weak...it makes you human.
The grass may be greener, but then again, it may also be astroturf. ~Amy C Brown
While I question her methods (who likes to find out their spouse went on a date and kissed someone?), I admit this too sounds familiar. And she probably really means what she says. I know that the last time I kissed the OM as an "until we meet again" actually I felt NOTHING and realized I could finally make it "goodbye". And as elated as I was I didn't tell my husband because I thought he wouldn't want to know. Maybe I was wrong there; perhaps I should have told him that there was no longer...anything between me and the OM.
The grass may be greener, but then again, it may also be astroturf. ~Amy C Brown
My H is still underground mostly and guarded about his affair but he is also proud of having a young beautiful OW. He has also exposed it through the internet, cell phone, at work, and in our bank statements instead of using cash. Does he want to torment me? He is not covering his tracks and he says he can introduce her to me. My Mom says he is belligerent. Is this carelessness or emotional abuse? My mom says it is just love pure and simple. She has seen them together from the beginning of the affair. he would wait for her every week at work and pine for her and touch her hair and follow her around like a puppy dog. She says he is so deeply in love and obsessed he does not care how anyone else feels.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
Oh how I wish my wife was there with OP. She is still struggling with her 'love' for OP and possibly the hurt to the family.
I suppose that at the early stages, the only person that made any sense was the OP and everyone else was telling you the wrong information - that certainly seems to be my sitch.
While I agree with your mom that he is so wrapped up in the affair he simply doesn't know or care what effect it has on anyone, I dislike her choice of the word love. While I can't deny the statistics that show affairs often end in marriage (mine nearly did!), I really feel that MOST affairs are infatuation and obsession masquerading as real love. It is emotionally abusive, but I'd like to qualify that it may not be deliberate. I know that's not much comfort, but it may make a difference how you feel about it in the long run.
The grass may be greener, but then again, it may also be astroturf. ~Amy C Brown
You seem to understand (even though you don't like) your wife's thought process. Or you're a pretty good guesser ;). It is hard when you dive into an affair to pull yourself back out. Even in an unreal setting you create real connections with people, family, friends. I had a hard time no longer talking to my OM's dad because he was very kind to me and I know where huis son gets his charming personality. He used to sit and talk with me about OM, about life, and he loved my kids. It was hard to let that go as part of a life I souldn't (and eventually didn't want) to keep.
When you're involved in an affair, the only thing that makes sense or matters is your "love" for the OP. No one can change that for you...you have to arrive on your own.
The grass may be greener, but then again, it may also be astroturf. ~Amy C Brown
Hello everyone! I have exciting news! My husband and I are expecting our third child around April!! Everyone cross your fingers, we'd really love to have a girl this time. OK, as long as he/she is healthy I don't care, but it would be fun to have a girl!
The grass may be greener, but then again, it may also be astroturf. ~Amy C Brown
Thanks for the advice. I know it's damn hard, but my W has to work it out for herself. I'm acting like a cheerleader for her at the moment, so who knows.
Good thing is (if there is one), the only time W has been with OP is at meetings, so no connection with any other aspects of his life.
Everyone cross your fingers, we'd really love to have a girl this time. OK, as long as he/she is healthy I don't care, but it would be fun to have a girl!