Almost lost it this morning. Woke up around 4:30, couldn't sleep, and had this insane desire to drive past her house to make sure there weren't any other cars parked out there. Almost did it too but jumped on here instead. Fact is, I would bet a lot of $ on her faithfulness even though she's not wearing her ring right now. Besides, what good would that possibly do me? If no one's there (and again, I would bet A LOT on that being true) I would feel guilty for having checked and if someone is, it would make my friendship face that much harder to put on this afternoon. At least, these are the things I'm telling myself at 5 am so I don't go anywhere
Me: 32 in OH Wife: 29 in MD Married: 4 years No kids Seperated 14 months
Bryan - read your thread. Interesting you are stuggling sometimes with worry about a 3rd party - its very tough and I feel what you are going through to. Just wanted you to know I was with you on this - lets put that 'needy' jerk behind us!
Me - 39 W - 33 M - 5yrs Bomb - 8/5 2007 Moving out - 9/8 2007
BryanS glad you jumped on the boards instead of the road to do a drive by. Wise choice. How much more time are you spending with your W? When do you leave?
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
Nuggett, I'm leaving tomorrow (Sat) morning around 11 central time. I'll see her in about 2 weeks when she comes back to town to collect her things before moving to her new job. I think we're doing dinner again tonight and that's probably pretty much it. I tell you, I feel so close to having this thing tip over to positive. The anticipation of it coupled with knowing that I can't rush it, I have to continue to be her friend and be patient is killer. But, I am thankful for this oppurtunity to grow. God knows I need it.
Me: 32 in OH Wife: 29 in MD Married: 4 years No kids Seperated 14 months
BryanS it sounds like you are doing everything right. Just keep up the good work and be the friend that you are being. Even if nothing concrete happens before you head back home once you are gone she is going to just keep thinking about this friendly Bryan. It will be the best last impression you can leave with her. Keep it up. I know you can do it.
Bryan you seem very upbeat and things seem to be going well. Keep up the PMA and continue to be her friend. Build that foundation for your new relationship.
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
Bryan you seem very upbeat and things seem to be going well.
You know, I really appreciate that becuase this is so not me. Last time, I completely fell apart and did everything wrong and that's where I started to go this time. But I found this thing and you folks and it's not easier but it makes a whole lot more sense. I would be back where I was before without Michele's books and you guys on the boards. Thanks so much for all the wisdom.
Almost lost it this morning. Woke up around 4:30, couldn't sleep, and had this insane desire to drive past her house to make sure there weren't any other cars parked out there. Almost did it too but jumped on here instead. Fact is, I would bet a lot of $ on her faithfulness even though she's not wearing her ring right now. Besides, what good would that possibly do me? If no one's there (and again, I would bet A LOT on that being true) I would feel guilty for having checked and if someone is, it would make my friendship face that much harder to put on this afternoon. At least, these are the things I'm telling myself at 5 am so I don't go anywhere
Hello Bryan...I could have written these exact words myself. What do we do? Someone on this board asked me if it was a deal-breaker if W did have OM. I thought about it...and thought about it and decided, honestly, if it does come to light, in my case, I don't think it would be a deal-breaker. Somehow that helps the anxiety/panic attacks become less frequent and I find the obsession to know lessens as well. I am trying to keep concentrating more on myself.
Unbelievably selfish of me to say that I'm writing this to help me really. Hope it helps you as well.
Me 44 W 39 M 10yrs (together 13 years) one D 8 ILYBINILWY Feb 2007 Separated - 5th September 07
Will get there in the end. Will get there in the end 2.
Somehow that helps the anxiety/panic attacks become less frequent and I find the obsession to know lessens as well. I am trying to keep concentrating more on myself.
Unbelievably selfish of me to say that I'm writing this to help me really. Hope it helps you as well.
That does help, thanks. And there's nothing selfish about what you said. You want to save your marriage just like I want to save mine. You do what you have to do to make that happen.
