Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Get me on a smoother ride........Need Advice

Sues,

I know I can deal with it either.. they think they can do such a better job, instead of praising us about the job we're doing, there downing what we're not doing.. its a vicous cycle.

When H is home is a pretty good father, he's a little hard on my oldest, but good overall. I do tell him that also, but never get it back in return. So sick of it.

Some days I would just like to stay in bed and let everyone fend for themselves!

TAL

TAL-

Yeah, I'd love to lay in bed too. H does it all the time while I get up with D3. The only time that he lets me stay in bed is if I'm actually sick. BUT..it has to be really bad even then.

I just went out a bought a new workout video. If my H isn't going to take me to sign up under his workout membership, I'll do something else.

SueS

Not really happy right now!! I made a deposit at the bank and my account balance is lower than expected. My H & I opened an account together when we moved to MN. When my H started working for a bank here (other than the one we do business at), he opened an account there and his check goes there. No big deal on that, as it happened long before this whole mess started and we've talked about moving all of our business to where he works. Anyway, H still has a debit card from "our" bank. Turns out my balance is lower than expected because H took money from the account that my check goes into so he could go play golf.........and never told me about it.

Sounds like what my wife just did. That is so weird (she loves golf too cuz of OM). I try to just keep an eye on the account so she doesn' go nutz but act "AS IF" otherwise. I think it's hard when they start screwing with finances but we're here for ya. Hang in there Sue.

Thanks Lester. I want to act "As If" as long as I can pay everything I need to pay. If I can do that, I won't let it bother me.....or show him that it does anyway.

I noticed you're in IL. What part? I lived in IL (western burbs of Chicago) for years. About 6 years ago we went through a really rough patch. I saw a DB coach in Woodstock & then was lucky enough to find a great counselor just down the street from me who had worked for Michele. She was wonderful. I'd love to try to remember her name and forward it to you. Gosh, I hope I can remember it.

SueS

Oh they are such button pushers. And yep, do 100 things for them, and 99 of them are perfect. They have to comment on the 1 thing that didn't go well. And yes, never one has my H told me I am a good mother (I am, darnit) or anything like that. He once said "You should know what a good mom you are". Oh spare me. He is a very involved parent too, but lately I notice he is even more involved when other moms are around, so then I hear "You are sooo lucky to have him! I would kill for my H to be that attentive". He eats that sh*t up and it makes me sick now. Remember, my H cheated with a playgroup mom (friend of mine), so I am sure that's how he reeled her in. VOMIT

Sorry, got lost in my rant.

About the money. I would just keep a secret eye on that account and try to let it go. Or at least let it go on the outside.

Good morning-

lwb----I noticed your thread locked. I was going to respond to you about the call from your H. That's great!

I had emailed H at work yesterday asking how his day was going. It was a rough start because he had to go pay a big fine to get his license reinstated. He said he was fine & that it will take up part of the bonus he was expecting this month. That was about all he wrote. I asked him to give us a call later before D3 went to bed. No calls at all last night. My mind begged me to convince my heart that it was because he was super busy booking so many loans. I must have crashed last night because I recall hearing him turn off the radio, but that's it. His phone was turned off this morning, so I didn't look.

I did try my new video last night. Boy did that feel good. I think it will help.

I took a ring in a few weeks ago to get it fixed. It's a ring that my H had given me a while back. I told him that my wedding ring needed to be fixed too. I said....when I get the other one back, I'll take the wedding ring in. I don't want to be without a ring on that finger. He just said....why? I said...it just feels wrong. I should be able to pick it up this weekend and drop off the wedding ring. We'll see what he has to say.

I have so much to do at work today and I've been so unable to concentrate. I think I need to just get to it. I'll try to check in over lunch & then at home.

Have a great day!

SueS

SueS,

Well done on the phone - you get a credit for that.

We are all imprefect and I acknowledge that the things I do for my children are not always perfect, but would it kill to get constructive feedback?

lwb, Nice rant, feel better?

I have no advice on the ring, but I bet it hurt when he asked 'Why?'. W did similar to me about marriage vows and I had to bite my lip (ouch).

Tell you what they really hate, cos it doesn't allow them to vindicate that you are the one at fault, is when you don't react to the criticism; boy, sends my W mad. Think I'll keep that ploy going.

Pamar- Thanks for the kudos on not looking at the phone. As far as the ring goes.....the no comment doesn't bother me. At least he wasn't a smarta** and told me not to worry about getting it fixed.

click, click, click.....up the roller coaster again. I emailed H to ask him a few questions. Did he call maintenance or do I still need to and hey....since it's the first Sunday of football, would he like me to make dinner so he doesn't have to. His response....no, I forgot to bring the number with me and don't worry about it, I'll do my own cooking on Sunday..thx. I called him right away. I said...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to step on your toes by invading your kitchen (he's the cook in our house). He wasn't mad at all....he just said...no big deal, you just know that during football I like my finger foods.....I was planning on making wings....etc. He said....I was hoping you'd make your dip and we could make burgers. He went on about how what kind of burgers he wants to make and then talked about a customer. As the convo started to get slow I said......well, okay then....gotta go.....I have to get some things done before the boss goes into his meeting (total bs, but wanted to act busy). Later he called me. He said...hey, what's going on? Then he asked me to help a co-worker find some headhunters in/around Chicago where we lived. A nice conversation. Hopefully we can keep this going.

SueS

Susb,


Very Good...."don't worry about it, I'll do my own cooking on Sunday"

It was hard not to take this personal. And it was not personal but sounded that was.

Little inside info. I have not worn my wedding ring since my opperation. (no jewlery allowed). W has not said anything yet. I have not put my other rings yet though. When I go back to work Imay put the others on yet but don't know about the wedding one yet