Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? I've become 'semi-comfortably numb'

Mkultra,,God I wish there were a pill, lol! I'm still waiting on my refill of Xanax, he he,,best stuff in the world!

During all this, I have been losing weight like crazy. Lost another 5 lbs in the last 10days, not how I would imagine it would happen but oh well, there has to be a positive to this sitch somewhere!lol!

To give ya an idea, i'm 5'6 1/2" tall & now 140.3lbs, I have 16.3lbs to go to get to where I was over 10yrs ago, I feel happy & confident that i'm doing it and that I will once again fit into most of those clothes I kept in boxes in the garage! Yeaee!

To think, 1yr ago I was 180 lbs & very unhappy w/myself for letting me be consumed by this! I decided I want my life back,,went to get my fasting bloodwork done last wk my triglycerides were frickin' 20! Cholesterol was 139, thats' ok,,altho 10yrs ago it was 103. LDL's(good lipids)are abnormally high & HDL's(bad lipids)are abnormally low and my blood sugar is 84,,,Doc says at least we know I will never die of a heart attack!lol!

Its' weird,,now H & I have traded places. He was never a Dr's advocate if ya know what I mean but now complains that the Dr. told him if he doesn't lose weight & watch what he eats & DRINKS NOW his 'pre-diabetes' status will turn into the real thing! Then last week he told me about them wanting to do tests to figure out if he has colon cancer(related to diabetes)(hes' 41),,WTF??

Just 1 1/2 yrs ago H was telling ME that I was a hypocondriac, I was indeed sick ALL the time for a few yrs,,,BUT NOT ANYMORE!!

I use to be very concerned about his health, ya know touchy- feely type crap, what kind of tests are they gonna do, what were you're blood test results, etc.,,always was b/c I was & still am in the medical field,,,NOT ANYMORE!! I told H when he told me that, "Well, i'm sorry to hear that, take care of yourself, good-bye."

Today when H came to pick up the boys, I was inadvertantly in my brand new bathing suit,, ;)!

Everytime we have to "see" each other i'm always dressed nicely or just plain look good,,,I want him to think a little about what he threw away and how I couldn't be more confident w/myself & my life!!!

Cheers, Kim

P.S. Yes, Bette does reconcile w/H,,niiice! I have to make these decisions w/him,,cordially,,or he will use it against me in court for not being flexible & not paying my fair share,,the goal is to make HIM to look bad in court if I want to win. For the last 4 1/2yrs I have paid ALL my bills by myself, H would not help me out & pay any of them,,i've actually been doing things on my own for that long,,its' just getting hard w/this economy & my jobs!This sucks, doesn't it??

Mkultra,,God I wish there were a pill, lol! I'm still waiting on my refill of Xanax, he he,,best stuff in the world!

During all this, I have been losing weight like crazy. Lost another 5 lbs in the last 10days, not how I would imagine it would happen but oh well, there has to be a positive to this sitch somewhere!lol!

To give ya an idea, i'm 5'6 1/2" tall & now 140.3lbs, I have 16.3lbs to go to get to where I was over 10yrs ago, I feel happy & confident that i'm doing it and that I will once again fit into most of those clothes I kept in boxes in the garage! Yeaee!

To think, 1yr ago I was 180 lbs & very unhappy w/myself for letting me be consumed by this! I decided I want my life back,,went to get my fasting bloodwork done last wk my triglycerides were frickin' 20! Cholesterol was 139, thats' ok,,altho 10yrs ago it was 103. LDL's(good lipids)are abnormally high & HDL's(bad lipids)are abnormally low and my blood sugar is 84,,,Doc says at least we know I will never die of a heart attack!lol!

Its' weird,,now H & I have traded places. He was never a Dr's advocate if ya know what I mean but now complains that the Dr. told him if he doesn't lose weight & watch what he eats & DRINKS NOW his 'pre-diabetes' status will turn into the real thing! Then last week he told me about them wanting to do tests to figure out if he has colon cancer(related to diabetes)(hes' 41),,WTF??

Just 1 1/2 yrs ago H was telling ME that I was a hypocondriac, I was indeed sick ALL the time for a few yrs,,,BUT NOT ANYMORE!!

I use to be very concerned about his health, ya know touchy- feely type crap, what kind of tests are they gonna do, what were you're blood test results, etc.,,always was b/c I was & still am in the medical field,,,NOT ANYMORE!! I told H when he told me that, "Well, i'm sorry to hear that, take care of yourself, good-bye."

Today when H came to pick up the boys, I was inadvertantly in my brand new bathing suit,,

Everytime we have to "see" each other i'm always dressed nicely or just plain look good,,,I want him to think a little about what he threw away and how I couldn't be more confident w/myself & my life!!!

Cheers, Kim

P.S. Yes, Bette does reconcile w/H,,niiice! I have to make these decisions w/him,,cordially,,or he will use it against me in court for not being flexible & not paying my fair share,,the goal is to make HIM to look bad in court if I want to win. For the last 4 1/2yrs I have paid ALL my bills by myself, H would not help me out & pay any of them,,i've actually been doing things on my own for that long,,its' just getting hard w/this economy & my jobs!This sucks, doesn't it??

Kim, I always knew you were strong! I am impressed by your GAL attitude in this very tough time.

You mention those times feelingss hit you out of the blue - it takes a looooong time - I can still have that happen from my first marriage, even though I love my current wife. The feelings that were there are never gone, they just get buried under new experiences. Every once in a while they find there way into the light of day! Best thing to do is just acknowledge it and move on. Don't dwell - especially over physical reminders like photos, letters, etc. Just my 2 cents!

I miss not being able to talk to you when ever I want to, but with being in piecing mode, it limits my time.

Kim, this is the LBS diet that happens to all of us. It's the only diet you didn't realize you were on. I wish I could somehow harness the chemical and emotional reactions that were taking place in our bodies and somehow produce a pill out of it. I'd been rich and Oprah would have to wait her turn to interview me on my revolutionary new LBS diet.

BTW, are those cloths you put in boxes 10 years ago still in style? LOL!

YAY!! I'm doing the KIMMIE DANCE!! Gosh girl......I'm so darned proud of you! And I love that you kept all your clothes!! Hey! Most clothing items from 10 years ago are back in style anyways.....hehehehe!

Warning: Divorce diet/LBS diet are wonderful! But holy crap the lbs do kinda sneak back up on you Yup..those xanax sure have a way of making you capable of dealing with "them". BUT.....can't take them forever. LOL.....I'm down from several a day to just when needed. Which will be tomorrow morning when he comes to fix the sprinklers.....awww. BUT...can't depend on them to help me be civil to him. I just have to look at him and pretend he's not wearing clothes.....that'll help.

Hi-Five sistah on the "wearing of the bikini" when he comes around. LOL....dolt. He just doesn't know what he tossed away.

Now....the prices on cruises are getting really low. I've been watching the "Travel Section" in the paper.....I think it's about time the Blonde -n- Brunette make a few waves on the Cruise Line around the Bahama's mama!!

Luv ya Kimmie!!

Jeanette

I know,,,I do to! I think we will always be friends even if you do leave me here in Colorado, lol!

I loved lunch, BTW.

Thanks for being there for me,
Kimmie

YAY!! I'm doing the KIMMIE DANCE!! Gosh girl......I'm so darned proud of you! And I love that you kept all your clothes!! Hey! Most clothing items from 10 years ago are back in style anyways.....hehehehe!

Yesss they are, some are even back from 15yrs ago,,have some of those as well,,I guess naughty stuff never goes outta style?! he he

Which will be tomorrow morning when he comes to fix the sprinklers.....awww. BUT...can't depend on them to help me be civil to him. I just have to look at him and pretend he's not wearing clothes.....that'll help.

Hey chickie, now don't go peeing your pants from laughing so hard! Altho, still 'a little' diff. for me,,if I saw STBXH naked I would probably want to jump his bones,,hmmm,,need to get THAT out of my head for sure!



Now....the prices on cruises are getting really low. I've been watching the "Travel Section" in the paper.....I think it's about time the Blonde -n- Brunette make a few waves on the Cruise Line around the Bahama's mama!!

I sooo much want & need to go on that cruise right now but will have to turn on the gas 1st,,oops! It sucks not having much money when its' being spent on an L!

Jeanette,,thanks for always being there for me,,you don't know how much I appreciate it!

I'm right there w/ya soul-sista!
Luv ya powerpuff girl,
Kimmie

Astimegoeson~ Yeah, your right,,you would make a killing if you could capture that chemical mix & bottle it! Oh well, we'll have to leave that for the biochemists here!

Its' actually nice to be able to pick from more clothes, God knows I don't have the money for them, he he.

Some of my clothes from 10-15yrs ago have come back. Not the whole styles but bits & pieces of them & they work well w/the other stuff in my closet,,yeaeeee

Hope you have a great weekend,
Kim

HEY GUYS!!!!NEED SOME HELP ASAP!!!

How to respond & did I step over everyones' boundries here??

H's TM: 9/14@11:04am: Not sure if you got my email but wanted to see if I could pick up the boys early tomorrow around 8:15am as I have the hummer in the Broomfield Days parade and they wanted to ride with me.

MY TM: 9/14@12:58pm: Sure,,sounds like fun! Whose all riding in the hummer in the parade?

H's TM: 9/14@1:54pm: A,,,that would be Me, S13 & S8.

MY TM: 9/14@2:16pm: What about the girls at the office and their kids?

H's TM: 9/14@2:54pm: Ddono't think you are understanding we are just driving it in the parade.

H's TM: 9/14@3:03pm: Sorry about the typing having phone
issues

MY TM: 9/14@3:39pm: No worries.

H's TM: 9/14@3:56pm: Not sure why you want to, plus we won't be done in time for you to make it to work. We have to be in our spot by 9am but parade doesn't start until 10.

MY TM: 9/14@4:30pm: 1st of all,,I think it would be a lot of fun-never been in a parade before especially w/my kids. 2nd, I don't start work until 1:30pm,,and 3rd, I looked up the times for the parade participants & the public on the internet and i'm good.

MY TM: 9/14@4:30pm: Is there a theme? Maybe a HI(Hawaiian)one?

H's TM: 9/14@5:45pm: I never thought it was such a big deal. No theme.

MY TM: 9/14@6:04pm: Well,,considering I will probably never get the chance 2 b in a parade in my lifetime not 2 mention ur hummer w/the kids,,kinda makes it a big deal to me. I wanted to have fun w/you guys!

It is 8:20pm and still no answer from H,,,what should I do?
Be ready, along w/the kids, for him when he comes in the morning and make like i'm going? OR TM him back and ask if he got my TM(I really don't want to do that)? OR Have just the kids ready tomorrow morning and forget about me going?

Ready for suggestions guys,,,trusting you all b/c you are looking from the outside in, which I can't do right now

Thanks, Kim

Hmmmm,,,well its' down to the wire,,H will be here in 15min to pick up the kids and still no answer from him as to whether I can go or from anyone here,,discouraging.

I just needed a little bit of insight before so I could know which direction to turn,,,anyone up??

Kim