I'm sorry that you are going through this. It's hard to face, even when we think we are ready for it. However, in my case, the dreading was far worse that the actual D.
My D was settled five minutes before we were scheduled to go to trial. I was the one pushing for trial and was fully prepared to see it through. However, on the day of the court hearing, my attorney informed me that the trial could take months (not to mention $$$) before it would be final.
At the last minute, I chose to accept H's settlement offer instead of going to trial. Hindsight, it was the right decision.
Your H knows he is in the wrong. I doubt seriously that he wants his sins aired in a court of law (not to mention the length of time and $$ if it goes to trial).
As an aside -- since our D, H has been calling regularly and acting more like the old H. The arrogance is gone. I must say that I'm happier than I've been in a long time and actually enjoy talking to H again. I never thought I would say that.
So who knows what silver linings are in your future, Always? I just know that you will find many.
And remember: when I open my revenge artist for hire business, I will give you a discount. Hell, I might hit your H for free.
Seriously, don't lose any sleep over this. His L will tell him how long and costly a trial may be, and he doesn't want to spend any more money than he has to.
Sweets, he's psycho and lives in an altered state---where he sees dead people.
UHM, I think he is the poster child for Brain Tumors Gone Wild.
I hope his lawyer talks him out of it...but he may have already and the lawyer may be seeing $$$$---not realizing that it is like squeezing blood from a turnip. Poor Dr. 6th Sense...he really is lost in the maelstrom of poor decisions...
You are so strong, mama....you have indeed become a "woman of strength"....I really admire you for that.
Valentine
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
Always - I have just got back from a trip [into the land of no email access] and picked up on your thread. I can relate to how you feel. It is the sheer UNDESERVED nastiness that gets me down. I am not a horrible person, and neither are you, and yet these jerks treat us so horribly.
We aren't victims either . . . I just want the pain to STOP. Yes, it partly in my control not to allow myself to be hurt, but these MLCers/practising lunatics have straight As when it comes to twisting the knife.
Most of the time I manage to feel sorry for anyone being so lost and behaving so horribly . . .
You are not whining - you have been dealt a lousy hand, and are playing it with grace and dignity. It would be nice to have a get out of jail free card though wouldn't it?
Thank you for the incredible words and encouragement. I'm feeling much better and have spoken to a few friends about this and have my bearings.
The fall weather is creeping in, but I'm still getting a lot of veggies in the garden! It's been wonderful this summer. Lots of okra, 4 different kinds of chilis, eggplant and melons! The gardening has been very therapeutic and soul-soothing, and sharing the harvest has been so nice.
OK - I want updates!!!
Mickey and Angelica - we want detailed updates on you 2 gals.....nearly all the other folks have threads....
How is life, how are you??? You don't have to start a thread, write here!
LOL. No details here Always. Everyone in my life, even my kids say that it is time for me to have someone in my life. My parents are even encouraging it. The nurses on my floor laugh and say 'just have a little fling.' It has to be nothing serious. These are women with husbands and children of their own. I'm not quite sure what to make of it. LOL. I'm starting to wonder if I am abby normal. They smile at me and say, you need a man. Just for the fun of it.
I guess they are seeing something I haven't quite grasped yet.
You are so sweet to offer your thread. My thread would be so different than those here. So many times I have started to begin my own, but I am in a different place. I am past it and in a place where my choices are strictly my own. Still am hurting emotionally and quietly deciding what I want to do.
Right now, I don't want to do anything except 'be.' Life sends us enough drama w/o my hanging onto someone elses.
Always - Yes, I am a great Mel Brooks fan! Nothing really happening, except my h is getting gradually madder and madder with regard to me [too boring to relate] But he has been to see his mother after YEARS of neglect, and wooing his children!!
My youngest son is not happy at being rung morning noon and night by a father wanting approval and attention. I actually think he is lonely, and realising that the new life isn't delivering, but too proud and too emotionally stupid to realise the life he had was pretty good. So he is stuck in this limbo, with some involvement with OW, and trying to convince me that I am a horrible person. Presumably so that he can continue to feel OK about himself?? Who knows.
Anyway work is good, and I have an apartment for the next few months in Central London. I might get over and see some of you in the US.
I feel worn out by the emotional roller coaster of the last two years, but am getting on with my life as a single person. A relationship would be nice, but I know that I am not ready yet for this. I am lucky, I have good friends [sadly my parents are dead. None of us wanted this to happen, but there is life after MLC, and men who aren't crazy, vengeful, spiteful and mean towards us!!
