Yes, I had a gut feeling about my husband before I had any indication or proof. I noticed that he seemed more stressed, tense and angry. Very high levels of this. In addition I noticed him distancing himself more from me and being more critical of me and the marriage.
I don't think all spouses in affairs necessarily do this. I think some can probably deal with their guilt more easily or hide it better. Also, I think those who want to keep their marriages together, or who are better at hiding things probably don't display that anger. My guess is they might even be nicer to their spouse to take off any suspicion.
My only "indication" in the beginning was him staying out one night until around 2 a.m. and then actively hiding his cell phone. My "proof" was hiring a detective agency to get cell phone records and seeing an unusually high amount of calls to one particular female.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
I honey, I just felt sick too just reading that, and I agree the part when he talks about you
Im so so so sorry he is putting you through this.. I wish there was something I could say to make it better..It makes me so angry.. then i think How the he$$ can you trust anyone ever again after your own H does this.. it scares me..
((((hugs))))
TAL
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Yeah he says the letters didn't mean anything. He was only messing around. This happened a couple months ago and since he hasn't went near the computer. But still that is something I wouldn't do. It showed me more then ever that I have every right to not trust him. Oh I did confront him on the letters. That is when he said it was nothing. He was just feeling crappy about himself. But I still just have this gut feeling something isn't right. So I will keep snooping and watching.
