It sounds like things are going well. Next thing you know, W's MLC complaint will be, "You're always asking people to DOOOOOOOOO things and we never stay home!" My H is in a bit of a MLC himself, so it's interesting to see the contradictory things he says he wants.
SUPER cool on the "real" vacation thing. The beach is always good for relaxing and having a good time. As for the yaking women, put on a good CD and sing along in your head. Think about what you were doing this time last year. Turn their conversation into a TV sitcom. All kinda ways to amuse yourself!
BTW, HAVE you gone back to read your threads from a year ago? I read mine last week. What a difference. It cemented how far I've come...I highly recommend it, especially since your W pokes her alien head out from time to time still.
Enjoy your trip, and remember that a happy, relaxed W is a nookie-giving W!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
Hey Rob. This all sounds great and I am so happy for you! Enjoy your vaca!!! Love the part about your D. You seem to handle all those women so well. Keep on keeping on. Love your 'tude!
Sooooo? I've seen you posting all over the board, but no update on Rob and his vacay.
How are YOU doing?
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
Hi SD! Thanks for asking. So many threads, so little time...
We all had a great time on our vacation. In some ways, it was great having additional people along - a female friend of ours (I hate to say it, but think "Old maid librarian farm girl" - just wanted to head off the inevitable rude comments from MHS ) and one of D15's best girl friends. It sometimes made for more interesting/varied conversation and kept D15 a little more in line at times.
On the downside, that many people in the house, plus our very hectic and exhausting schedule, meant we never got around to ML (although I was pretty clear about wanting to.) Not obsessing about it though.
One funky GAL thing I did - on the last day there, I went to the resort salon and had "fake tanner" applied. It's subtle, but I like it.
Now that we are back, things are settling into the school day pattern (D15 started today). It'll be a real challenge to not slip back into old habits of nagging D15 to do her homework, etc. - W especially has trouble with this. In addition, music booster stuff is cranking into high gear (a good GAL thing for me).
One other thing I've gotta watch out for. W is getting very frustrated with her job - starting to read want ads, think about future directions, and make appointments with my career counselor. I'm doing my best to be supportive without "fixing", but I think I see a little of the MLC craziness spinning behind her eyes again. Since we're both in similar situations here, I'm hoping this can be a chance to actually help each other grow - wouldn't that be a nice change of pace?
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
Rob, I'm going to keep an eye on how you handle your W's job situation. This has been an ongoing issue in my situation also. My W complains about her job unhappiness, but takes no initiative in solving the problem.
I'm willing to partner with her to some extent, but it is her problem. Procrastination is a pattern with my W, around facing issues that can't be solved easily.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
I think I see a little of the MLC craziness spinning behind her eyes again. Since we're both in similar situations here, I'm hoping this can be a chance to actually help each other grow
Rob - just a quick one. Are you SURE about MLC re-emerging here? Or are you assuming? Have you talked to W about it? Maybe offered support if she needs it, an ear to talk to? I'm asking this cos in my sitch it's better for me and H if we talk about things before they get too big. I don't mean major R talk - just 5 or 10 minutes of "I am feeling this way at the moment" is enough.
Bomb (ILYBINILWY, don't want to be married)Sept05 Seperated Sept/Oct 05 Oct 06 - H recomitted July 11 - I am now a WAW.
Rob- I have been lurking in your thread for a few months. Haven't had much to say, though. Guess I still kinda think of myself as a greenhorn DBer, without much to offer a vet like you. Anyway...
My son is also in HS band. He is a freshman, and the first football game is tonite. Looking forward to seeing him in uniform. He's in "the pit," so he doesn't really march around. Just stands still banging things...
Glad to hear things are looking up with your situation. I hope someday to be where you are. I can now see that drawing the WAS back in is less than half the battle. The bigger part is managing all the baggage, hurt, anger, resentment, etc that lingers. It appears that you are doing a great job, and I intend to follow you along, and lurk (and learn) for a good while longer. I need to know what to expect!
So many threads, so little time...
) and one of D15's best girl friends. It sometimes made for more interesting/varied conversation and kept D15 a little more in line at times.