Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy He's still with her, and I'm moving on (part 3)

Well we are winding down. It is just 2 days until our court date to finalize our divorce. I have not heard from H and probably won't. The last time I saw him was a month ago.

I went out on Friday night with my nieces and had a great time. They are both really frustrated with their uncle (my H) right now, so they are good company for me. I got hit on by a 21 year old guy, so life is definately going to get interesting. Last night I went out with some co-workers, so I am keeping busy. I'm starting to look forward to my new life.

Hope,

Good to hear your PMA is on the increase.

You need to look after yourself now.

I often wonder "what if". Like the movie, sliding doors. What if I didn't bump into my distant cousin 17 years ago whilst catching a train for weekend leave. What if I didn't go to his university medical party that night. What if I didn't meet my W at this party etc etc etc.

Maybe our current S's are not the right ones for us. Maybe this has happened for a reason, and you will find someone amazing, and live the rest of your life in a "loving bliss".

Okay, maybe that last bit sounded a bit corny but you know what I mean.

I too am looking forward to the future. I look forward to the quality time i will spend with DD (away from W). I look forward to my freedom to pursue what I want to do. I look forward to meeting new and interesting people (not necessarily a R, but friendships etc)

We will all come out of this better people, and happier people. You may not thinks so now, but trust me, with time, you will look back on your life and say "what was I thinking". There will always be a positive outcome for you, regardless of what happens.

I hope your "D" day goes as well as expected. All my best.

AndyV

Andy,

I first saw that movie years ago when H and I were dating and he was going through a stage that he didn't want to be with me. I thought it was ironic to run across it then. In 10/06, I was flipping through the tv stations, and I ran across it again. I watched it. This was only a week or two into H's affair...that's really ironic.

I'm already doing this. H and I were so different. I've been hanging around with people that I have more in common with, and I can feel the real me coming out rather than the person that I turned into for him.

Me too. I've been meeting all different kinds of people. Just last night, I went out with one of my co-workers and some friends of his. Normally, I would have passed on a sitch like that because I'm not really a social butterfly. My H was always the social butterfly. He loved being the center of attention. Now, I can just be me...no longer living in his shadow, and I do actually enjoy going out and meeting new people. You just never know who you might meet...it all goes back to the "what if".

although Ive never posted to your stitch, you sound so incredibly strong and you should be very proud of yourself and how you are holding everything together.

I hope you find peace and find someone to share your life with that will love and cherish you like you should be.

M is so so hard, and you've definately put in your effort, you have come out on top, while he will regret it some day.

Blessings to you~

TAL

I agree. You have really come around and will be able to hold your head up high and know you did everything to try and fix this. D doesn't mean its over, by any means. But look how far you've come, how much you've grown.

Hey Hope,

Just wanted to say I'm thinking about you. Thank-you for all of the help you have given me.
Here we all are with our own problems and yet we are the kind of people that put our problems aside to help others.
agian thank you for all of your support

Husband

Thanks everyone for all your kind words and support. I've been living in this h$ll on earth for the last 10 months and I can confidently say that I did everything that I could to save my marriage and I am a stronger, better person because of this. My husband, on the otherhand, cannot not say the same. He is living in a dream or a nightmare and tomorrow reality is going to start hitting him that he ruined the best thing that ever happened to him and after tomorrow....he really did take it "too far". It sucks...there is no doubt about it, but you deal with the hand that you were given. I wish everyone all the best. I hope everyone else's marriages can be saved, but in the end if your marriage comes to divorce, I think after fighting a battle like this you have to trust that is what God had in store for you. No one on here made crazy, rash decisions. We did things right...we took time. Whatever happens in the end is what God intended.

Hopeless,

Be brave. I'm praying that you will be strong tomorrow.

Here are some of my thoughts.

1. You did everything you could do.

2. Your husband is weak. He wants to leave the OW, but can't. He wants to be with you, but can't. In other words, he's not a man. Simply put, he needs to grow a sack. The OW will suck the life out of him.

3. This is his second affair. It's a pattern. He has no character. Unless he deeply changes, he would do it again.

4. The truth is, he's not man enough for you. He's spineless and has no clear convictions in life. He sounds like a wet noodle.

--Theoden

She already has. The guy that I fell in love is long gone, and he definately is not going to come back while she is in the picture.

I agree. He told me about them both at the same time. There might even be more that I don't know about. I know there are guys that will be faithful, so I am not wasting any more time on him. I was willing to give him a second chance, he wasn't man enough to take it.

Thanks. I am the type of person that puts someone else's needs in front of my own. He never does. He's going to have a rough life, so my parting words with him tomorrow are going to be....I wish you luck with everything...he's gonna need it.

hopeless11...

You have my thoughts and prayers at this time...as you know I am not far away ...14 days till my D day...

...I believe by living this way you will be able to love and care for someone else to your fullest in the future...your heart has been honest and true through it all...

...hear me on this one...I believe it is not our Lords will for divorce( he hates it )...that being said...the great gift our Lord has given us is, Free Will which enables us to love...this our ability to chose and make our own decisions, the freedom to reject him or love Him... this is the beauty of our Lords real love he allows us our freedom to chose...our spouse's have made choses outside our Lords will and we have to live in this world we are in at the moment...we all never signed up for any of this ... b/c of our free will, our Lord is hurting and is in pain as well for you, His will is not for divorce...for me I am a changed man through it all b/c of our Lords great restoration of my heart/soul and mind...at the end though I have know idea what our Lord has instore for us... I know our Lord will be with me and won't let go, and this is my hope and prayer for all of us ...

"Matt Redman - You Never Let Go

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Again you have my thoughts and prayers at this time... SorryDog

PS.. I am in my last hours of my marriage as well...take care