hee hee . I know maybe I am entering a reverse mlc where I WANT to look at myself and dont run from myself!
sweaty beach scenes???? ha , right. that what bedtime and my dreams are for!
I initiated . H had called for spots for him and his friends last month but the trips were full. So I called a few weeks ago and got on the waiting list. When the museum called I decided to take the spots and offer them to H. I told him when I saw him at that club. He right away said: no , you and I can go. (needless to say , he was a bit tipsy!)
Anyway we went and it was good overall . There was some drama with a woman on the phone. I was so tempted to ask but didnt.
I see you have a new thread. Gotta go check it out....
brava
Me: 36 He: 34 no kids Married: 2000 He left: July 05
Sounds good, Brava! Good for you for not asking about the phone drama--that's hard. I want to know more about this happiness is an option seminar--what kinds of things did they talk about, etc.
Yeah, it was a great weekend. http://www.option.org . Look up the Radical Authenticity program. THat is the week long one I am going to do the week of Aug 5th. I am so excited.
I figure my H is going around the same time to Italy with his friends... and on a beach vacation to Croatia... so I might as well take a week for me!
HAppiness is a Choice is an awesome read. I am now reading Giant Steps. It is a 7.99 paperback with details success stories of kids/teens the Kaufmans have worked with. Sounds goofy but so much of those stories hit home for me and my attitude toward my H. Both books show the power of approaching people and ourselves without judgement.
Anyway, I am good. H is buying a second condo and renting the other. I am ok with it actually. Whatever. He can invest in real estate... while I invest in myself!
brava
Me: 36 He: 34 no kids Married: 2000 He left: July 05
That sounds like an interesting course. I think I've read one of their books. Aren't they the ones who work with severely autistic children? Was their first "patient" a Mexican boy? I can't remember the title of the book, but the one I read was about the treatment they did w/ that boy.
You sound well, two years on (like me). I think you are getting more and more detached from his silliness - always a good thing!
~Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
Yes yes.... wow, finally someone who knows who they are!
I am reading the book Giant Steps at the moment with the story of Robertito and others. It is so stange but lots of lessons in it for dealing with my H.
I was loooking into different ways of processing my beliefs: one was Byron Katie, The Work... very cool. Another was Mandy Evans on te Options process and then the Kaufmans work with the Optins method. The Mandy Evans books are super cool easy reads. I went with the Options Institute as it was a beautiful place for me to go on "retreat". .. and..
because I saw the nbc movie in the 90s: Son Rise... and I loved it and still remembered it. So when I found out that was the Kaufmans I knew it was destiny!
The son Raun ("recovered" from autism) taught one of the classes. He was so amazing ...
Did I mention I am leaving for a week long program next week??? Radical Authenticity... I am soooooo excited. I have 2 private dialogues scheduled: those are the best part. Somone to gently question you on your beliefs around things. (beliefs you are not aware of or take as "fact".)
OK, I could go on and on.... I am more than happy to share an specifics ...instead of babbling!
brava
Me: 36 He: 34 no kids Married: 2000 He left: July 05
Just thought I would share this article from the D. Ford Newsletter (love her Spiritual Divorce and Shadow self stuff!)...
July 31, 2007, Issue 7 A Personal Message from Debbie: Admit the Truth We've all had bad things happen to us. And, being the complex humans that we are, we often compound our suffering by pushing away, denying the importance of, and rejecting people and experiences that have been important to us. But there is another way and what it requires are open eyes, an open mind, and -- ultimately -- an open heart.
We have to open up to the whole -- the all-encompassing pain and beauty -- and see how we can use that perspective to learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of others. We must find the gifts and take responsibility. There's no other option unless we want to be filled with anguish and misery and diminished by our losses.
When we end a relationship, why do we find it so difficult to reach inside of ourselves and contact the love that brought us together with that person in the first place? It's so human to cut ourselves off. Why do we have to destroy something in order to create something else? Although we are a part of nature, we're different than a forest of trees. We don't have to have a blazing fire to generate new growth. Look at how many people cheat on their partner or spouse rather than say what's true, that they're ready to move on. Think about how people will sabotage a job rather than quit or stockpile toxic resentments rather than tell the truth about what they need and want.
Rather than allowing unexpressed emotions to wreak havoc and force everyone around us to deal with the truth through distress and heartache, we can take the high road. And we can travel in the direction of integrity and honesty.
Integrity is being able to admit what's true. When we're being in integrity, we're honoring the whole. We're not just looking through our own upsets, pain, and the ego needs that haven't been met. When we're looking through the eyes of the divine whole, we're able to see the perfection. That's being in integrity rather than justifying, twisting, and making wrong.
When we can see the whole, we don't need to wish our past out of existence. We're able to simultaneously admit to what we've lost and what we have gained. However, when we reject people and invalidate circumstances as a way to move on, we pay a high price.
To deny what has been important to us in the past is to not see it for the spiritual gift that it is. There is a gift. And it's our job to find it. And how we'll know that we've found it is that we'll bless it. We'll honor its existence. And regarding the people involved in helping us to find that gift -- a lover, boss, friend, employee, child, parent, or partner -- we will wish them well.
At a deep level, the emotional freedom that comes with that acknowledgment and honoring is the most extraordinary bonus gift imaginable.
Transformational Action Step
Really look and see, who or what are you making wrong right now and why are you making them wrong? What are pushing away and denying? Take the time to explore your motivations, see what new choices you can make, and make a list of all that you're grateful for about that person or situation.
With love and blessings, Debbie Ford
big hug! brava
Me: 36 He: 34 no kids Married: 2000 He left: July 05
I have not been on the boards much. (duh!) I have been in a phase of introspection for some time now. It is a good thing. I have been feeling "at peace" more and more often lately.
My week at the Options Institute was so wonderful: "Radical Authenticity" and some really amazing people. No phones, computers, tv...ahhhhh.
I really love their philosophy and they way they say you can "make beliefs" according to how you want to live. I have been feeling much more in control the last few months and much less a victim.
I am going back in October to learn their dialoguing technique. I had 3 dialogue sessions while there that really opened my eyes to some funny and crazy beleifs about relationships and life that I had.... and did not even know it!!!
Anyway, that is the inner me stuff.
As for the rest:
My H is in Italy and Croatia with friends for over 2 weeks. I can see he is just pushing along... he really does not seem happy.
I told him that I might move to Japan. and I told him that I believed we would grow old together. That was a big move for me to say that. Glad I did though I might handle the wording a bit different now. No matter. I did it for me , not him.
Got a promotion at work. Nice but not a fan of my new boss. I have always worked well with her mainly because I did NOT report in to her. Ah well. Not planning on staying around that long anyway.
So that is my update. Nothing exciting. Oh, wait... just thought of something: this Sunday I am taking my first voice lesson!!!!!!!!!!! I have been wanting to learn how to sing for ages. I dont want to even sing well... just carry a tune and not feel like the notes are "stuck" in my throat!
big hug to all! I am still lurking even if I dont post much.
brava
Me: 36 He: 34 no kids Married: 2000 He left: July 05
