Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Get me on a smoother ride........Need Advice

Good morning everyone-

Just a pretty mellow, calm night. My 3 yr. old D & I hung out and had fun. We called H before our D was going to bed to say good night. H was a little snippy with me at first, but after I started talking to him he calmed things down.

When H got home, I was 1/2 alseep. I just told him that I promised our D that he'd give her a kiss when he got home. He changed his clothes & went to work out. I woke up around 12:30 and he was back home. Woke up early, early this morning & he was in bed. He's been letting me snuggle close to him all week, so I put that in the positive column.

OHHHHHH.........I resisted my urge to snoop on his phone!!

Got up, went for my walk and told myself the whole time.....You're going to be so HOT if you keep this up!!

So, I got home, did my deal to get ready......our D woke up. I got lunches ready, gave H a quick kiss on the cheek.....said.....gotta be to work early......take the clothes out you're going to wear for the wedding.....see ya later & I walked out!!!

I probably won't post or read much today, as it's a busy, busy day at work today. Likely won't be able to get on over the weekend either. If I don't, I'll catch up to everyone on Monday & let you know how the weekend went. My parents are coming today to watch our D so we can go to a wedding tonight & have some fun. D will not be home at all tonight!!

Have a great weekend everyone....if I don't post later today.

SueS

Laugh a lot while you are having good times at the wedding. Don'y get too drunk or lose control. Try to avoid getting sentimental at the wedding so it does seem manipulative or contrived. Just relax and have fun, kind of as if you want to attract someone else to ask you to dance!

mkultra-

I do plan on having a good time at this wedding, but not getting drunk or losing control. There are a lot of my co-workers that will be there, so it will be easy to mingle. My H knows a few of them well too, so it won't be uncomfortable for him.

I just keep trying to look at positive things.....maybe I need to make myself a list.

Thanks-

SueS

I guess the "think positive" deal is working. My H just called to see what I was up to. He's on his lunch break. He hasn't called me in days. I had made him lunch. He said....I didn't take the lunch you made, but thanks for making it. I asked how his day was and he just let loose. He's in the finance/loan business. He's just been closing a lot of smaller loans lately, which is frustrating him. He knows the smaller ones add up, but he's had so many small ones lately that he's frustrated. Then he talked about how he wanted to go into work early on Monday. Our D goes to daycare full days on Mondays, but he doesn't usually drop her off until 9:15. I said.....why don't we do this.....why don't I take her in that day. That way you can get in as early as you need to. Positive - Helpful-.....I'm trying!!

SueS

Sues,

Very positive thinking on your part.

You will be so hot he won't be able to stand having you leave the house!

JAK

Hi there-

It's been a few days since I posted. Our 3 yr old is sick, so I've been at home with her. I didn't want to get on at home, but I know I'll be busy at work tomorrow. Also, my H's attitude & personality took a nose dive yesterday.

Our weekend was wonderful. We had a great time at the wedding for the most part. My H got kind of quiet and I asked him what was wrong.....what can I do. He had been drinking and said....you need to loosen up. I told him that I thought I'd been doing pretty good lately & trust me, I was having a blast at the wedding. He said....you know what I want. I asked what. He said....A hot blonde. Well, let's just say, I'm no ugly duckling, but I'm not blonde & I'm not hot.....not yet anyway. So, he suggested that I get out more and find someone to bring into our relationship....for a one time thing. I told him that I couldn't do that. It ended there. I'm not sure if he remembers telling me that, because Saturday he was great. He & I both worked until about 1:00. We talked 3 or 4 times during the morning. My parent's had our D for the day. I'd asked him on Saturday morning if he'd mind if our D stayed with my parents one more night so I could do with him what I wanted. He said sure. After work I shopped with my Mom, my H cooked a great dinner & then they took our D with them. My H & I went to a movie & then of all things....went grocery shopping. We got home close to midnight. Nothing happened that night, as we were both wiped out. No R talk, no I Love You's.....etc. Although he was his silly self with me, which he hasn't been in a long time.

On Sunday, I apologized for not keeping my promise of doing what I said I would. He said that was okay because he was too tired too. We went to breakfast with my parents. They left & my H went golfing. I called to ask him to pick something up for me and go his voicemail. He called me right back. He was home early. He was okay Sunday evening, but the attitude & open communication has started back down the roller coaster again. We talked a little bit yesterday while he was at work. We had a bad storm last night and it blew out our TV again. He was more than angry about that and of course took it out verbally on me. No names, just angry tones when talking to me. He just called from work to check on our D and to tell me about a concert that we want to go to. Still quiet though.....nothing compared to Sat.

And yes, I did check his phone. I know, I know I'm not supposed to. No calls from Wed.-Sat. A call in & a call out on Sun. One call in from her on Mon.

Just a few things to add so you know a little more....
-H can be a big drinker. Other than the last two Fri. evenings, hasn't drank for about a month.
-H just turned 40. Got an earring & a new ring for his index finger??
-H adores our D, but seemed a little annoyed with her the past few days that she's been sick.
-H loves his new position, but this month has been slow.

Thanks again for listening!!

I'm back at work.....at least for the morning. Our little D was feeling better last night, so I may be here all day.

So here's a question for everyone. I'm trying to figure out what H is going through. I posted yesterday that over the weekend when he had way too much to drink, that H asked me to bring someone else into our relationship for a one-time thing. I said no, but it makes me wonder about something. I know OW isn't a blonde....as he said he wanted for this one-time thing. He has also mentioned (about a month ago) that he'd love to move back to CA. I told him that my mom had commented that if we ever moved back there that she'd have to retire so she could travel and spend time with our D. His comment was.....tell her to start planning her retirement party.

All this just makes me wonder. I know that H is having some sort of an A with OW. I feel at this time that it's mostly an EA. Do these comments mean that his feelings for her aren't really solid? Is this just something that he's doing because he's going through a MLC and wants that excitement right now?

SueS

I hate to keep posting, but I'm really struggling today. Maybe because our weekend was good and then down went the attitude of my H. I guess I got my hopes up too high that things were starting to level off again.

I just need some support today.

Sue it does seem to me that your H is suffering some sort of MLC. I really dont have any advice. Have you read DR? There is a good section on MLC in there.

Post all you want!

I know what you mean about weekends being pretty good, and then reality strikes. Monday is always a bad mood day for H, but probably because he can't go out until Friday. He doesn't even see OW when he goes out, but its his escape. I know my H is struggling with some MLC issues, and I second Cali's suggestion to read that section of the book. Or even the threads here on the MLC section.

Try to have a good day.