quick sitch: I, the WAW doesn't leave H. I stay with the tiniest of glimmers that R can change. That H can be a friend instead of a foe. I tell H about EOM and ONS, H does not freak out! I is still reluctant to commit.
That all changed yesterday...
I did some more letting go of OM ~ seems that task is nearly complete - hooray!
H did a wee little 180 yesterday that about knocked me off my feet! It actually *scared* me (just for a second) to think that he was distancing himself from me! I so quickly realized that this (distancing) is what I want that I said "Hey! That's great! Go to the gym everyday, meet new friends!... Just don't go leaving me with the kids all by myself again... I need those experiences too, ya know?!?"
So, anyway - I got home. Took H outside for a sec, told him ~ "Hey, I really think we CAN work this out. I'm REALLY sorry for being so mean lately. I'm going to let you love me, and I hope you can let me love you too."
Not to say it's all milk and honey now... One of the "old" things crept up last night... (one of those things I HATE about our R) but, I can't let that change the fact that we have a new opportunity to change that today.
Now that you've made a commitment to work on things, it's time to get down to business. I read that "piece of crap" you were talking about in your other thread. It's pretty good...there are some nuggets in there. I would also recommend the "5 Love Languages" and "After the Affair." Each book has their own exercises to help determine what each partner needs.
The two things I've discovered through all of this crap is that "listening" and "patience" are paramount. Combining these two things both prevents silly arguments and allows one to figure out what one's partner really needs. Too bad it took me 33 years to figure it out!
Well Char, good questions you ask... So I will come to your thread to help you out.
To link...
Open up your old thread in a new window. Now leave it alone for a moment. Then, go to the bottom of this box to the Instant UBB Code and you should see URL. Click on it, a magic lil box should appear. It will ask you to place in your link... Now, go to the old thread into the address bar, copy everything in it, and past it into the magic box and click ok. Then it will ask for the name of the link, give it the title to your old thread. Then click finished... Walha, you have a link.
As for following threads... Click on the name of the poster, then click "add to address book." Then you will be able to tell those that you want to follow are online. I myself do not follow threads, I follow people. After awhile, you will get to know folks, kind of like your friends, and then you will not need that information...
I hope this helps...
P.S. I am too lazy to type out charcoal char... LOL
