I have tried to stay in the friends loop but she has said that she is not interested in being friends. As of today, my divorce should be final, and I guess it's on with the rest of my life. Maybe someday she'll call me, but I don't think I should be calling anymore.
talley2191,
I am really sorry to hear today is the day. I know just how incredibly difficult it can be.
In my sitch, I felt like my exW just simply walked away without trying. That was the hardest part for me.
I would suggest closing that door behind you in all ways. You do not need to lock it. If she ever comes knocking, you are always free to open the door. That will be a decision if and when the time comes.
I will be praying for both of you.
RMG
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"
Sometimes we just have to let them go, it's still a DB strategy. If what you are doing, that being trying to remain friends, is not working then stop doing it and do something different. We all get trapped into repeating strategies that we believe SHOULD make a difference even when we find they don't! Give her space, live your life and, as RMG says, close the door but don't lock it. You never really know what's around the next corner, it could even be something good!
talley, it's up to you. I tend to think it is courteous to wish someone a Happy Birthday with a card but that's it! Others may disagree. Remember, you aren't hating her, just giving her the space that she may need and that space may result in a renewed interest in you at some point. That space also gives you time to GAL and make a wonderful life for yourself so that no matter what, you will come out a winner!
I don't hate her and I know she doesn't hate me. I really believe our marriage would have survived if not for the other person. What kind of man breaks up a family?
I'm with you Talley. But, I also think you have to look at what was missing from your M. The OP doesn't just walk in and sweep our S's off their feet. Usually the S has felt some intense lonliness, let down etc for a long time. They are ripe for some attention and for someone to "really know" them. Now, you still can save your M but to do so you must look at what was missing, set up an action plan and stick to making it happen. And if it doesn't save your M it will make you a better, more desirable man and that's a win win situation. Take care.
