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So I pretty much got the warm reception from him on this I had expected! I asked him what he thought about it and so far no answer, so I pretty much guess I have my answer.
Funny last week he said that was willing to do whatever it took! ha!

Well looks like I spoke to soon, he has looked at the course info and is willing to go!!! I have even spoken to my Mum and she will look after the kids.
I also made sure that he wasn't doing this to make me happy, that it must be what he wants to do for us to get anything from it, so keep your fingers crossed that I can get us registered before anything changes.
Baby steps!

I am happy that my H is considering doing the retrouville program, but I worry because what it does is give me hope again, and let my guard down alittle again.
I don't want to be kicked again, its happened so much that I don't think I can stand it again!

Also has anyone else done the Retrouville program? What was it like?

This is what I dont get, H and OW has other R's and yet they wanna be together, for what? This is so selfish, leave one R to get into another R. What ever happends to ending a R and being alone and then get into a fresh R. What is happening to all of us? Is leaving the current M solves all problems? NO it doesnt, the problem baggage still tags along.

I am in the same boat, W is M. OM is still M and they wanna have a R - wth.

Limbo

That is great news that H wants to do retro. I understand your timid reaction based upon his past conduct. I have not done it, but have heard good things about it both on this board and from few friends who attended. When is it going on by you? Is it a long wait? Hang in there. I don't think Retro can make the situation worse. No harm in going. Just try not to expect it to be the miracle cure. Even if it does benefit your R, there is still a ton of work to be done by both of you.

Stew

Thanks for the response Stew, but to be honest not sure if I want to do it.
I still believe he is with the ow and to me there is no point taking steps to fix the M if he is still in a relationship with her, its a waste of money that we don't really have and its a waste of my time.
I am just sooo fed up with it all, I am tired of people just not caring enough! Last night my M who said she would watch the kids that weekend, is now not sure because they are having a corn roast at her apartment WTF!!!! She knows what this is for, its not a dirty weekend away! I am just so sick and tired of bending over backwards to be there for others and not getting that same effort back!!
I don't think that I am that bad of a person, haven't done really terrible things in my life yet I keep getting s**t on, can someone please explain to me why that is!
I just want to go off into a corner and curl up and die! I am tired of all of this nonsense!

Limbo,

From what I understand of Retrou, you can pay only as much as you feel you can afford for the course itself. Really, what do you have to lose by going? Even if you just learn to communicate better and it doesn't lead toa revitalized M, you'll be better parents to your kids.

As for your Mom, man, that's selfish on her part. Don't know what kind of R you have with her, but I think you might be entitled to a little righteous indignation. Plus, why can't she watch your kids AND have a corn roast?

BD

Thanks Heim!

My Mum and I have never had the best of relationships, always alittle jealousy of my relationship with my Dad, I am an only child and we were very close! But thats a whole other tale!!

I am sure I will go, but I am just really struggling with this whole thing right now.
Had a convo with H via email this morning and basically I said that I just can't handle all of this, not being important enough, being second, and that he needs to get his act together, because we are really having a problem with S7 he is really acting out and I am sure its because of the tension in the house.
So he emailed me with his email to ow saying that he has told me he has been with her again, how he has made many mistakes and its time he understand that his family is most valuable.
Now i haven't heard anything from him since he sent it, so we shall see what happens.

I know I am rambling, just can't seem to get thoughts straight right now.

Got a few more emails from H, he has told me that he is realizing how important I and the kids are to him, and he thanked me for loving him.
He says he really means that he wants to be with us, and that he does love me very much.

The sad thing is that, it does make me happy, but not as happy as it once would, its sort of like ya, ya I have heard this all before, I want to believe him, but there is something that is just saying hold on, don't get burnt again.
I hope this begins to go away, and is only a form of protection.

Limbo,

Just don't keep that wall of yours up too high. Among other mistakes I made when my W and I were both actively engaged in making our R work (pre-DB) was subconsciously doing what you realize you are doing -- putting up a wall and keeping back part of myself so as not to get hurt again. Sort of became a self-fulfilling prophesy for me.

BD