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She ended up not going last night. I think it was plans with the OG which fell through. The guy, who is her father's best friend (until he gets wind of this), is one of the biggest flakes in the world. Which astounds me even more that she is even interested in him.

She says she might go to her friends house tonight but again I think it is to meet up with him. I trust her about as far as I can throw her right now...

Trust, oh the trust. Its so gone for me too. I have grown numb to the fact that I can't trust, but I can't change, so I have to let things go. Isn't it awful that its gone?

Hope you are having a nice Friday night though.

My Friday night consisted of tacos and Pimms Cup cocktails. The drink was in the paper and my W's grandmother wanted to try them out. Top that...

Trust for me is not too much of an issue. I trust that she is out with the OG and doing things that I would not want her doing. Is that a trust issue???

On a serious note, she has been very frank about where she is going and who she is with. She has not hid the fact that she is spending time with this guy. The thing that gets me is that he has already failed at marriage and it is rubbing off on my wife.

I honestly want to knock my wife on the side of the head and ask her why she thinks this is okay. I won't hit her but you get the point. She told me yesterday that she wanted to stay together for our son's benefit but liked things the way they are now. I honestly do not think she believes I respect myself to call a spade a spade if nothing changes...

Best wishes on your evening...

Wow, I've been reading your story and it's comforting to know others are struggling too.

My H admitted his EA in March...told me it was only a 1-night thing...then in June I found cell phone records proving they talk many times every day...since then he has left me twice (he went to a hotel to "think and pray" Haha)...found out the 2nd time he was with her (in every sense of the word), so I kicked him out. Now he has an apt. a few miles away, says he wants us to be a family again. I don't trust him but I can't seem to stop missing him desperately. I want us back together too, but we just seem to have soooo many issues. How do you find the patience to ride this out?

Me 38
H 45
D 11
D 10
Married 12 yrs.

Maybe its time to make things uncomfortable for her!!!

I have been making it uncomfrotable for her that last few weeks. I have done things with my friends, on my own, and with my son. I have done about everything I can without making an ultimatum of divorce to make her uncomfortable. I am honestly documenting everything that if and when I reach my limit I have a solid case to keep custody of my son.

Since this has started DB'ing, I have had signs that have been positive. In the beginning she stated that she wanted nothing to do with me and can not stand being in the same room as me. Now we can talk casually and soend time together. She is still apprehensive about being alone with me because of what I did to her. See I am not innocent in all of this but there will come a point where this is no longer a marriage. I pray that things change before then but everyone has their limit.

Is it bad that I am pissed that her plans fell through again...I was looking forward to spending the night with my son without her around but like usual her friends flake on her.

I pray that she realizes the people she has associated herself with are using her for there problems. Until then I can only take care of myself and wait...

Hope everyone else had a better night...In all honesty, mine could be a lot worse...

Is it bad that I am pissed that her plans fell through again...I was looking forward to spending the night with my son without her around but like usual her friends flake on her.

I pray that she realizes the people she has associated herself with are using her for there problems. Until then I can only take care of myself and wait...

Hope everyone else had a better night...In all honesty, mine could be a lot worse...

I am not sure if you are ready for this but I started to read up on custody issues in a book I bought. I also downloaded some podcasts related to parental matters in divorce. I resisted for a few months because I believed in DBing and I did not want to inch towards Divorce or lawyers. I have learned some interesting facts but it is mostly common sense. Parents are better at deciding the fates of the children not a strange judge, greedy lawyers, or a faceless court system. I dread the idea of my baby sleeping anywhere but with me. My H is pretty homeless and I doubt any woman who would take in such a wreck would be someone I would want around my kids, present company excluded, me.

the roblem is going to be the issue of who has control between my wife and I. If it is between us there would never be a resolution.

By chance, what was the book you bought???