wow - hard one, I think I wouldn't say anything YET....tell the kids that maybe dad was stressed out or something, but to tell you if it happens again...they may otherwise think that if they tell you stuff, you will tell him straightaway....and if he scolds them for telling you, they'd feel awful !
BUT- that's just what I would do....
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Hi bam. Life here is good. Just wish they didn't toss everything at me at once. Sorry you have to deal with this nonsense.
Wish I knew the right thing to do with the ballgame stuff. Seems to me you have to ask yourself if it is worth it right now. In general, I am a say what's on your mind type. But you have business to finish up and perhaps you might mention it to your lawyer next time you speak. Ask him/her a simple question to the effect of is it worth it at this stage to stir s**t up. I have found that lawyers have a very good handle on the ramifications.
Other than that, you're doing well. Keep doing what you are doing.
Cinders is right and if you haven't learned this already, you will learn it quickly. The kids are in the middle no matter what way you slice it. If they confide something in you about their dad and you confront him on it, he will more than likely be upset with your kids and in turn, your kids will be upset with you...vicious cycle! I have had to deal with this kind of thing so many times over the years. You need to choose your battles carefully.
When I was going through some custody stuff with my XH, my H would always say that I just need to keep everything documented. So, keep a journal with all of the details. If a time comes when you need to take him to court, you will need all of that detail.
Now, I talked to my H just a little bit ago and he was talking like a truck driver. Sounds kinda like your H huh! What's up with that?
I really don't know. But, I decided to not say anything to him and just help the kids deal w/it. I also decided to play a little hardball w/him....
He bought a motorcycle a few years ago. Never rode it much and last year it needed a lot of work. So, I started working extra at my office and putting $ aside. I was able to have the motorcycle fixed up (about $600) and we gave it to him for Father's Day last year.
Well, he will get it in the divorce which is fine w/me. We owe nothing on it. He told me he planned to sell it b/c he didn't want to take the risk of riding it b/c life was too short. Uhhhh....ok.
The kids told me yesterday that his brother came home w/them and rode the motorcycle home b/c H GAVE it to him for his birthday. K....I was pretty much irritated b/c all I ever hear is how broke he is, how he doesn't know how he'll make it, how he drinks slim fast for 2 meals b/c he can't afford groceries (AND he isn't ashamed to admit that!) blah blah blah blah blah.
He called to "check in" last night and I asked him if he needed a stove b/c the one at my new house was in good shape but I'm getting new. He said no and than jokingly said "You're just trying to suck up b/c you sold my washer." (He bought me a new one in December and I sold the old one which I guess he wanted and he was an a** about it).
I said "Well, you GAVE AWAY the motorcycle". He said "Well, what use would you ever get out of it?" I said "I put some $$ in that last year." This went back and forth for a second and, keep in mind, it was all done in a teasing manner. BUT, I was pretty much serious. Finally I said, "So, do you want the f**king oven, or not?" He said "no thanks" and I ended the convo.
He tries to tease me b/c he wants to be friends. Typically I would be quiet and try and make him feel good. Now, I just go along w/it and give the teasing right back. It's a good way for me to say some things without being involved in conflict. It felt good and like I gained a little more control.
Just wanted to share. He called again later to "check in" b/c he was all alone and he cannot stand that. Again, with choices comes consequences.
Me-BS 38 X-WS 36 Separated 11/15/2006 Filed for D 8/1/2007 Divorce Final 12/21/2007 S13, S13 (twins), D9 Married 13 Yrs Together 20 Yrs
Mental note: Try the teasing instead of being dragged under.
Gotta hate that back and forth and you bought this and I paid for that and and and.......allright already!! Sheeit.
Ew...maybe I should have suggested slim fast to Rich last night, as I too had to hear again how he cannot eat. UGH! What....Fabiola does not cook? I guess your right Bam....with choices come consequences.
So...what kind of stove are we getting?? The flat-top kind?? Have you decided on the colors for the kitchen? New counters? WoooHooo....now that's the kind of tough decisions I like to make
btw.....I sent you his email addy LOL....permission was granted. Just call him Pillsbury
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
Don't ya get so sick and tired of hearing about their pity party???????? For the love of all that is holy in the world, SUCK IT UP AND GET OVER IT!!!!
No flat top stove for this chica! Have one, hate it! Kitchen will be yellow with white trim and appliances I think stainless steal....but maybe white. Whatta ya think?
P.S. In case you are wondering, slim fast does not take care of their FAT HEADS!!!
Me-BS 38 X-WS 36 Separated 11/15/2006 Filed for D 8/1/2007 Divorce Final 12/21/2007 S13, S13 (twins), D9 Married 13 Yrs Together 20 Yrs
Don't ya get so sick and tired of hearing about their pity party???????? For the love of all that is holy in the world, SUCK IT UP AND GET OVER IT!!!!
You know what Bam......I think I heard those very words when he left....he would tell me all the time, get over it, get over me, please just let me go.
LOL....permission was granted. Just call him Pillsbury 