Puddle, if you havent noticed as yet, men tend to analyze everything. You dont ask a man to do something simple, he will analyz and over analyze it. Women tend to think different. With all that being said, your writing is so beautiful I have to LOL at your thoughts.
I scanned through your post I should have not done so. That should be a short term goal I need to make for myself. That aggravates W that she says I never read the details but I understand the context.
This is fun today, I am in such a good mood.
See the W, Listen to the W, but dont Speak back to the W. Bridle your tongue...
Puddle! H thinks I'm having a whale of a time. This morning at 9 I said I was popping out for some milk and wouldn't be too long. He looked at me and commented how nice my 'top' was. (H could see I was a bit over dressed for Wal-Mart)I cheerily wished him goodbye and came home at 4pm.
Never asked where I was but came down straightaway to see me.
This weekend? Well since my sister is going back home on Monday, I'll spend Saturday with her and my mother. We'll shop and lunch then shop some more. In the evening I'll probably have a gin and tonic and watch a dvd. I'll spend some time on this site which keeps my PMA well up.
My gus lives at home (grown up son)but I rarely see him. It'll be a bonus if he's around and he might deign to let me buy him dinner! What are you doing?
Glad to hear you're in a good place today! I still wonder at our ability to go on---not just trudge on (all the time, anyway), but actually have fun---in the midst of all this craziness. Sometimes I wonder whether I'm just in denial, as if accepting what's happening means I have to feel miserable all the time. It's not so. We are adaptable, at the very least, and thank goodness for that.
And yes, I've noticed the analysis thing. If I hadn't, I would surely be in an even worse position to try to figure this thing out---it'd mean I hadn't noticed the slightest thing about DH in all these 13 years. I'm oblivious enough as it is, though obviously now I'm concentrating on paying attention.
Are you working on paying attention to the details? If you can read all the way through this thread, as long as it is, I'd say you're making progress!
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your cheer. Take care.
Good on you. Your H is definitely noticing everything you're doing, so even if you just duck around the corner and cry for 7 hours before perking up and waltzing in with a smile on your face, he can only wonder. I'm sure his imagination is just as active as yours.
My DH called the other day while I was working out with the cell phone off. I forgot to turn it back on, and when I got home there was a voice mail at home and an email asking me to call. He said he was worried when he couldn't reach me. I apologized, explained I'd been working out (GAL), and told him I didn't know what he was imagining, but that I was fine. He said we could've had a fire or an earthquake. (!) Then yesterday I did the same thing with the phone, had missed two calls from him. When I called back I said, "I see you called a couple times. What's up?" He said, "That's okay, I'm getting used to it."
I'm not sure what I'm doing there. I think partly I just don't want to hear from him much right now, though I wonder sometimes if I'm just shooting myself in the foot. Answer the phone? Play coy? It felt good to miss calls while I was really doing something else, but not so good when I just left the phone in the car so as not to be bothered (by him calling or not calling). And of course I have the kids, so I don't want him to be concerned. I've just always been reachable anytime.
It's amazing how complex the simplest things can become.
Good for you for planning your weekend. I'm thinking about getting some seriously funny CDs/DVDs. It's hard to cry when you're laughing. I hope your son offers you some distraction.
Hi Puddle! Phone thing is tricky. I would have been tempted not to ring back and see what happened. He was obviously very annoyed and cross when he couldn't reach you.
The problem is- we are always available and we have to try and not be available so they miss us and wonder and puzzle. I am always available (though I'm learning fast) and OW is more unavailable hence the pursuit.
Let me know if you see any funny dvd's- I could use a good laugh.
Hi again. The more I read, the more our two guys sound alike. Mine has always been the one with few words, while I talked and talked (shock...huh?). Plus, I have also leaned over the years to back away and not press certain issues (as I was referring to "bursting at the seams to know what was going on in his head". I had to learn that lesson the hard way. It sounds like you have learned early, so that is good.
I really don't know what to tell you about this weekend and keeping the conversation flowing. However, I have learned that with our type of guys, they don't have the need to always have chattering going on....like we seem to want to have. The key is this....just make sure that you don't "appear" to be sulking or depressed or mad...you know. It seems everytime I am the least bit quite, my family thinks I'm mad! Then that makes me mad. (lol) They just know we are not acting the normal for us. So, try to have a pleasant look on your face when you are talking. (lol)
So, what I'm saying is....we need to learn to feel comfortable by just not saying anything. If we are watching TV, riding in a car, eating, etc. Over the years, I've learn to do that. Some other couples may think we just don't have anything to say....maybe some of that is true to some degree....but most of the time, you just don't feel that it is necessary to chatter away non-stop. A couple can be close without continually talking. I didn't believe that in our early years, but I think it is true (again ....up to a point). I still stand firm in the belief that if a couple doesn't communicate, they can't be close. However, there are different ways to communicate.
About telling him your ideas or plans for GALing....I'm not so sure about that. I mean...I don't know how he may interrupt that. Will he take it as a "threat" or "warning"? Or will he think you are just "blabbering" again. Who knows? Your guess is better than anybody else's.
Well, good luck. Hope all goes great. Let us hear.
Last edited by sandi2; 08/17/0701:01 AM.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
That's a really good point about not needing to babble all the time. In fact, if I could keep my mouth shut and still appear cheery, that would probably get his notice. Maybe I'll pipe down. It's the calm, new me.
Today I spent some time working on what Nomopo suggested, thinking about what kind of partner I am (among other things). One of the things I realized is that I'm pretty anxious (for such an easy-going gal). It's something that has bothered DH about me for a long time. So that not chattering thing goes hand in hand with that. I just need to mellow out more, and I can start to show that.
I think as far as the GAL goes, he'll either think I'm moving on or it's an attempt to win him back, depending on his mood.
DH just came home from work---no contact today, zero---in a funk, it seems. He asked how I'm doing, and I said, "Great! You?" "Eh," he said sadly. I will not obsess, I will not question. In fact, I'd like to find a friendly way to stop asking altogether, but I don't think that's possible.
Take care, Sandi2. Glad to have found another chatterbox!
Well, DH came home last night and was very curt. It was my night to go out, and around 8:30 he asked, "Aren't you going out?" I said I didn't know. "Why not?" Had the very strong impression that he wanted some space, tried not to feel shoved out the door, but did, indeed go. When I came back he was in bed.
Same thing this morning. It doesn't bode well for a "fun night out" tonight---in fact, I'm quite expecting him to back out---but I'm trying to telegraph enthusiasm. I know I project my expectations, especially negative ones. And I'm trying to remember that his being aloof isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Carry on regardless, Puddle, faint heart and all that.
Re babble: I was accused of that and got control of it years ago. H is prone to long silences but they haven't bothered me until now.
For some months after the bomb he acted as if anything I said was boring and he didn't want to hear about mundane trivia. Fair enough but now he comes home and tells me all about the price of eggs and where to buy them! Guess who told him? She must be absolutely scintillating company.
I should've checked my email before I posted! He's "looking forward to dinner" but then needs some time alone and "away from noise." Well, I guess that's better than I'd anticipated.
Faint of heart, indeed. It's going to be a long weekend. Where's my PMA? It's going to be a great weekend!
Oh bar, a muddled, drippy man in a towel chattering about the price of eggs. It just gets better and better.
