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A
I tend to agree. Does filing settle it for you and your health? Doesnt just completely cutting off any communication for a while do the same for you? It is about you and figuring out what you want right now and not worrying about her manic moods.

dang it is just so hard to stay away.

well the health problem has become major, i have to take control of it or i'm going to end up in the hospital. don't want to really get into it.

i feel fine at this point about moving forward with the d. i reached my goal of feeling like i have left no stone unturned. i could just go dark, outside of s exchanges, but i need some closure. i know that a piece of paper isn't going to make the feelings go away or stop the hurt and pain, but it is a step. my health assessment points to stress induced and so i have to elminate all stress as much as possible at this point.

looking back, i honestly can not recall the last time she said ily. we argued about this all the time. she grew up without a father basically and had no idea what to expect in marriage and still doesn't. she wasn't ever grateful for the things i did for the family. she never said sorry. i'm saying it is all her, i had plenty of opportunities to work on change for both of us and failed at that. her family is so messed up and is a nest full of bad relationship's and muliple divorces. i don't want to be a part of it anymore, i don't want to deal with any of it anymore. i'm totally worn out, physically, mentally and emotionally. i've reached my end point.

A
Understand. Did not mean to pry, sorry. Hope you will be OK, mentally and physically.

C

Atlas,
I hate when I see things go south. It tends to make me a little more pessimistic about my own R. I was really pulling for you, but if the decision is giving you some peace, so be it. As I was reading the posts, I found myself agreeing with CVA. I'm not sure that the filing and divorce proceedings will necessarily limit the stress. I haven't gone through it myself, but I can only imagine it gets worse before it gets better. I'm wondering if going dark for a couple of weeks would be better. It seems as though you've come to terms with the decision, so I would think you could focus on more productive tasks.

Good luck.

cva, you were not prying i just am still coming to terms with the health issues. well it appears the going dark idea is the new idea and out of my control. i was at the hospital again all this morning before they decided to send me home. so apparently the drugs i take to get everything under control also shut down my immune system, so now i'm sick as crap as well.

i have to say, my doc is hot, that girl has it going on. when things get better i'm getting a date for sure.

as for the m/r it is out of my control, i have to worry about myself at this point. if she is so decided then she can go ahead. my plan now is to get well, once i'm well enough i'll file.

Hey Atlas.......sorry to hear you are sick. Wanna me bring over some chicken soup or sumtin??? Beer? Seriously though, take care of yourself. I hope you are up and about soon!!

G

thanks for the support people!

well the health has improved a ton. i ended up at the doc's and hospital wed-fri getting more tests and now my arms look like a users needle tracks. haha. no smoking, no drinking and feeling great. i'm going to get out today and do a little physical activity.

fil is in town and this is when w said she would file. i typically watch s from sat morning until sunday afternoon. well w called friday and asked if i was well enough to watch him, if not fil would like to. i told her that fil came a long way to see him and i didn't feel all that great, so let fil have time with him. then w seemed genuinly concerned and asked about the health issues. then i asked how fil visit was going, and she ran down their events for the day and then told me where and what they were doing that night. which is back to her filling me in on her life. sort of odd.

there wasn't much time to fit in a lawyer appointment but there is still monday. w would have mentioned it though as well. i'm wondering if she is not ready or just can't talk about it. not sure, and not sure what to think about that.

absolutely no contact yestereday and no real need for contact until tuesday, so imagine unless she goes to the attorney tomorrow i won't hear anything until then.

w has done the paperwork. she hasn't filled it but is going to bring it by for my review.

weird part is she is offering to pretty much walk away without asking for anything. this is going to leave me financially in a great place. i may have to sign just to protect myself.

funny thing i'm not really as hurt over this as much as before. my feelings for her are leaving and i'm actually doing really well. well if she wants it, i guess i'll give it to her.

Atlas,

Just a quick note to say I'm so sorry she's filed, and I'm glad you're in an okay place about it. The financial bit sounds very good as well.

Take care of yourself. I'm glad to hear you're feeling better (healthwise).

Hey Atlas, glad to hear your health is improving. Intersting on the filing sitch. Not sure if I'd take it and run, or take the opp to suggest she is leaving too much. That is a conundrum. I know mine won;t be that easy, fair in the end, but not going to be easy.