My H says he was seriously thinking about moving back until I pulled what I did by not "letting' him take the girls for the weekends to sleep at OW's. Its just a bunch of BS he has been saying & telling the girls he wants to move back for a good while now & nothing. H CAN really PHYSICALLY take them, but I guess even though he does nto understand why it isn't good or right for the girls he is repecting my wishes & is pist about it acting just like a child. He came by knowing we were not home & took the extra tv from the family room & his cable box from the LR. Nice now we all can't wacht a family movie together from all those channels, but it si ok. KARMA KARMA. He took a few more clothes from our closet so I thought I will help him & I moved the rest of his stuff our of the closet & I emalied him before he came by to make a scene in front of the girls. He is coming by tonight & wants me to move everything back. I wwill when I get to it. Right now he does not NEED his stuff there & Itold him he can take the rest of his clothes,but MR control- wants to fight about it.
The last two days i'm feeling farther and farther away from w. Things seemed to be looking up, now just depressing. She claims to need time to think about her sitch then spends every waking moment talking to om. said she was going to think about it the other night but fell asleep. roller coasters suck. At least emotional ones. She says her decision should be about weather she wants to be with me or alone. not choosing between us. How do i compete with this?
On a positive note kids and i made plans to go to lake yesterday or today depinding on weather, today worked out. asked w to go, she declined. So me, d20, d20bf, d16, d11, and s8 went to lake after work. w stayed home and watched grandson. fil gave us a small boat w/35hp motor, running good now. borrowed bil's tube and skis. Had an awsome evening on the water 30min from home. grilled hotdogs. lots of smiles. Its so depressing coming home right now. w is so distant. sexy but distant. She went to bed within an hour after we got home.
Hard to keep PMA. I have an interview friday with person puting on the class i'm taking. Class starts next thur, evenings 3.5 hr thru Nov. I'm looking forward to getting the most out of it. I have heard so many positives from many people. Can't wait!
Thats my status
Light Switch
Not really tired so i think i'll try to comment on my past a on next reply
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
They aren't kidding when they mean roller coaster!! I am sorry. PMA is so hard sometimes, especially when the person that has left us is so mean and spiteful at times.
Glad you had nice time at the lake. Wonderful day. W probably went to bed because she felt left out from the day.
I've been looking for you. So she's back to the old tricks, huh? I have to agree with her, she should be choosing between you and being alone. But that isn't the situation, is it?
All you can do is keep making things nice and hold your head high. Cause you are worth the struggle.
I'm sorry it's so difficult. How long does she envision this stage lasting?
I just typed a long paragraph before i reread your questions.
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Was it an ego thing, and had nothing to do with your W?
I was shutting down early in our r and didnt know it. I resented w for talking me into having a baby before we were married. I really didnt want to, she had one before we met d20 was 2 then. I adopted her after we married. I had hopes, dreams, ideas that i started to hold in. I didnt know i was doing it either. This is eventually the start of my troubles, Me not standing up for what I believed in. essentually communication
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Was it the way the OW made you feel about yourself?
In a new r its new and exciting, you talk, share everything, communicate, feel like everything is perfect and ment to be.
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Were you able to be someone you really weren't? Did you think it would be the chance to start a new life?
I never wanted to be someone i wasnt. I thought it was the start of a new life and it was going to be great. STUPID. When the a is going on nothing maters you hurt everyone and dont even know it.
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Did you play a different role with the OW then you did with your W.
I guess i did. Like doing things i woudnt normaly do that w wouldnt do, I think i had an early mlc. wtf.
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My H has told me that I'm near perfect and there isn't anything he would change about me. So how do you explain that.
The problem is probably in your h not you. If i had known then what i do now i would have gone to counceling a long time ago alone and mc
