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It gets better with time. And understanding. You're on your way. Great news - you own it! You alone control your happiness! Think about that. Accept it. It is empowering.



They are trying to help. Tell them politely that you apprciate their concern, but that you haven't given up yet, you don't think it is hopeless, but you can't afford having them tear down your hope, or efforts, etc.



Doesn't sound crazy at all.

Hang in there! You will be ok (actually good or great) down the road, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

Hugs,
Nomo

I should have never told them about my problems, but I was so upset and had to talk to someone. Hopefully, in time they will accept what I am trying to do. I just hope that they don't disown me if we reconcile.

I also wanted to say that I don't think the whole problem is the A. I think the A was a by product of all the problems in our marriage..and honestly I can't blame him. I did the same thing, but came to my senses..on my own. I actually begged to come back.

This place is such a safe haven for me. I can say what's really on my mind and not be looked at like I'm insane.

Thanks again.

(((((bb)))))



Don't worry. They'll be fine. You'll be fine. I doubt serioulsy they disown you if you reconcile.



This is excellent. The same is true in my sitch.



I disagree, but blaming him won't solve your problems. I have forgiven my W (I think ), but I will always feel the A was wrong. Look, I was just as disconnected and unhappy as her (not a loving M for me either), and I didn't have an affair.



So he can blame you too. You both made mistakes. Now, all you (and he, even if he doesn't know it) can do is focus on what you do starting now.



You don't look insane because you're surrounded by other crazy people here. Just kidding!

Nomo

Thanks again. [/quote]

I wish he would look at it that way, but he doesn't and he may never. I have to do this on my own and hope for the best.

Thanks Nomo ::hugs::

That's exactly right bb. You will be GREAT! You will hve a GREAT life. You can make that happen!

Nomo

This sin't crazy at all, I make the same prayer about 50 times a day.

Here's something else I've been thinking about. Since my H and I are seperated, should I be contacting him or let him contact me? We don't have children together so we don't have that connection. I wonder if "ignoring" him will make him think that I don't care, but I also wonder if contacting him will be "pursuing". Maybe I should contact him only for business like stuff and don't bring up the R?

My gut is don't contact him for a while unless you have a good reason/need to. And consider letting a few of those needs accumulate first. Contacting him to tell him a funny story or to say hi, or forwarding email joes, all could be construed as pursuing. He needs time and space. He needs his negative emotions about the M/R (and you?) to subside a little. But don't ignore him or avoid him (eg, going dark) if he initiates contact (and use those opportunities to show him the new you - happy, positive, upbeat, everything is goin great!)

Hope it helps,
Nomo

Thank you, that's exactly what I needed to know.

You are a HUGE help Nomo.

I went out of town for a couple of day last week. Actually, I joined my girls at church camp and had a really nice time. I did contact my husband a few times while I was gone to check in, but have since stopped that. We haven't talked since Saturday. I feel better than I did last week, but I still have moments (as I'm sure all of you do). I know 5 days is nothing in the whole scheme of things but I feel like this is what it's going to be like. I have to prepare myself for the worst and hope for the best.