Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives CVA - Angels vs. Devils

Question:



When you said why are you so upset in a kind way, did it convey that she shouldn't be?

I know you have some issues with W's family not coming to Houston. Do you go on trips to Dallas generally? If not, at some point down the road, when you and W are back on solid ground (or closer), maybe you can break the cycle first.



What is your question? Should you try to isolate W for a bit?

You too, CVA, have a good workout, try not to over do it, though. Take care.

Rain
Worked out and went to church. Not much else other than finishing up power washing.

I feel so good physically that all I want to do is get ripped again. I used to work out twice a day, and how I met my wife 18 years ago.

I have been sitting here all weekend (not sitting, just by myself) and thinking about this:

I am 44, if the M goes belly up, I am wondering (OK, afraid) that it will be nearly impossible to find a woman with either (i) kids I can get along with or (ii) if she is younger and wants kids, I am too old for that. I swore that when my dad died (he had me at 42) that I would not subject my kid to having this old cogger (sp?) as a dad. Anyway, I am afraid of getting involved with a woman who has all this baggage (ex H or whatever), seems like people are SO jaded these days, and I really am coming to the conclusion that I DONT understand woman and will be leary of all of them Will she want me for me?, money? too clingly? not clinging enough(current sitch), whatever, you get my point.


ALL WOMAN READING THIS, PLEASE HELP? I think that if I had some thought that my personal life might be OK after a D, I could detach more. My W is 37 and as I have said here before, a knockout so she will have no problem attracting a man, which is why I think she now thinks it is OK to walk away. She is hot, will have money, what does she need me for?

OK, no more pity party, just sitting here and have not heard from W or kids since last night. Getting the feeling she really does NOT want to talk to me.

C

CVA - if your wife is hot & has money, then mostly likely that means the same for you as well!!! Which means that you will not have any problems attracting another woman!!!

How u doin!

Just kidding, S
Seriously, thanks for your comment, ...I am living "way above my station" and feel lucky to have attracted her in the first place. Always had good looking girlfriends, hell, I was engaged once before, she was hot too (but manic!).

Anyhow, dont want to dewll on this point but I guess my worry is not that I wouldnt (double negative) attract someone, just the likelihood of a quality woman who isnt as nuts as me or the rest of us here!!! JK.

C

CVA, I too have wondered that on numerous occasions, I am only 35 yrs old, but I still feel like I'm not the catch I was, back in the day, been with my W since I was 19 yrs old,

I did however, make the mistake of looking to quickly, just for companionship, and well, had a few one night stands, one with a woman older than me, (not a geezer, just 43yrs old) but I have since squashed that, not only did it make me realize how much I loved my W, but her wants and mine are too, different. She has a son who is 21, with a W, and grand kids, definitely not my scene. Don't want to be a grampa, till my own kids can make me one, in quite a few years, DD is 11 and S is 7, still not sure if the baby W is carrying is mine or not, so I won't count that one. But even if it isn't I haven't ruled out having another kid, someday. My brother is 2 yrs older than me, and this is the 2nd time he has gotten his girl, she is 28 or 29, pregnant, within the last 6 months, So I know that it's possible.

But at this time, I know that I am mostly, not emotionally ready for any R, other than a close friendship with my W, maybe other friendships with other women, but nothing more, not yet, anyway. Got to see how this pans out first, I owe it to myself, my W, and my kids to do the best I can to bring us all back together as a family. I'll let everything else just happen, the way that God intends.

I myself, lost about 50 to 60 lbs when all this began, due to the major depression, I think. But now I have noticed and my W, is very concerned with how much and how fast I did lose it, so I am trying to put a little back on, I told her jokingly, that I need to be fattened up like a Christmas goose, got a laugh from her, but she agreed, Seriously, I need to bulk up for the winter, without W, it will get pretty cold, by myself. Take care, Bro.

Thanks Rain
Yeah, not contemplating anything other than years away. It would be a BIG mistake to get involved w/ anyone for a long, long time.

Just a thought running through my mind I wanted to get out of my mind, this helps me do that. Its like quasi therapy.

CVA, I know, it really helps to get those out, ASAP, I usually spend a lot of my time, on my thread, doing just that. Pop over sometime, if you get the chance, I value your advice, Take care.

I'm not sure what your question was either. Have you ever tried to tell w that you know how hard she works with the kids and you'd like to give her a weekend off? You could take the kids away for the weekend and give her a chance to be alone (and hopefully, miss you). Just a suggestion, which you may have tried already.