Anyone who wants to hunt for my stuff would have to go back a ways - I think my posts began with "How do I go on from here". Liss and I started together along with AH and some others who haven't been around in a while in Feb and March of 06.
things have changed a lot since those days. For me I have found the journey to be well worth the trip. I have grown in ways I have always needed to grow. I have faced many fears head on and have learned to deal with them.
if anyone thinks that life is rosy with H back I will say it is not. But it is comfortable and we have been laughing a lot. There is no closure here. H and I come from 2 different angles on this whole deal. He is still in the process of "finding" himself in his life and what he will be doing. He has new beginnings going on in his music and this is all new for us. He is a man who has been a workaholic forever..........and now he is a guitaraholic. He no longer is earning money.
for most this would make them crazy.
for me - it is part of the journey that God is guiding me thru. I'm ok with what is going on because there is growth in other areas of my own life that i'm watching take shape. this would not be for everyone. we're in our mid-50's now...and we're starting over. it is an interesting challenge.
but...conquering the challenge will be awesome and i honestly believe it is doable.
every day is a miracle and i have loved life more since this whole separation began than my whole life which was basically a negative view of me.
i am convinced that we need to grab on to a positive outlook regardless to what is actually happening. we can look at all things 2 ways. negatively or positively. if you've been going along the whole time viewing the negative...then i urge you to try the other strategy. it will make a big difference in how you handle your lot in life. since you have to deal with the sh.. anyway - why not look at it with a brighter view - it'll only help you to feel better.
we are, many times, the cause of our own suffering. i know that was always the case with me. just my view of things helped to make things worse than they needed to be.
it is a gift to have this time to work on you - take the gift and learn to soar.
brue
I'm alive, I'm happy - why shouldn't I tell the world I've got my head screwed back on just fine. Life is good for the Brue!
Thanks, Brue. I did look up the beginning of your situation. I have had many questions about whether God would see fit to restore my marriage since this is not my first marriage. It is the first marriage for my H but not for me. The first line in your post answered that question for me. It is funny how God lead me to read things that I need to hear.
Thanks for sharing your story with us.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
we are, many times, the cause of our own suffering. i know that was always the case with me. just my view of things helped to make things worse than they needed to be.
Minnesota is never out of the question - just hasn't happened yet! Yes - it's been a fabulous year and a half for us all hasn't it? We are amazing creatures I believe. Amazing to the core. We did GOOD and we are moving on well.
I rather like us!
brue
Last edited by brueniap; 08/01/0708:12 PM.
I'm alive, I'm happy - why shouldn't I tell the world I've got my head screwed back on just fine. Life is good for the Brue!
I would have played one if I could carry a rhythm, or tune, or note, or whatever it is that they require. Would also have helped if I ever learned to read sheet music I suppose. Oh well ...
Brue, They sometimes try to spin this mlc stuff positively by talking about how the LBS learns and grows in their own journey. Clearly, you have and you continue to. Maybe that is God's mysterious little gift to you. Maybe that is why this had to happen, to make you the person that you will become, and your H also.
I remember the part of the story that says the restored M will become stronger and better than the original M ever could have been. I love that part of the story. And it never said it would be easy or rushed.
Take your time and make this journey the most amazing that life can give you. We do recognize through this journey how fragile and even how short life can seem. You are blessed now that you are completely alert to all that life sends your way.
Enjoy the thrills, don't sweat the spills, love the life you live, and live life to love.
so there you have it. I was not expecting anything in return. He is too proud to ever come back. That's how well I know him. He runs from all the problems he faces. He runs to someone or some place new and is willing to start all over again rather than face up to himself in the mirror. I won't try to talk R with him because I know it won't happen. Only God can intervene now. (Brueniap April 1, 2006)
WOW Brue. I have never posted to you before but saw this in the archived thread that was pulled. It sounds like my h to a t. Running from problems, not being able to face himself in the mirror, etc. If you don't mind me asking, how did your H find his way back and swallow his pride?
