Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Not so Shocked 4

Hi everyone

Well it is a year tomorrow that my husband walked out of the door after he told me that he felt empty, the whole bomb process took about a week from the time i found out there was something wrong, to him actually walking out of the door, i was shocked to say the least. He never really made any effort to try and get back on track, he just left because OW was wating in the wings. I did not realise what the year ahead had in store for me. I could never have imagined the ups and downs that i would go through and the things i would have to struggle with. A year on and i can see that my husband still is not truly happy but only he can sort himself out. I feel so sad for my little girl who deserved none of this, why is it that my husband says that he would die for D3 but yet cannot try and commit to his family, this does not make sense to me. I do try and understand what he is going through but sometimes when he seems so distance and oblivious to his family and home etc, i get frustrated and just want to shake him and ask him, where is the man that i knew and loved for 10 years. In his reality though he probably thinks he is still the same person that he has always been but i know that my loving, moral, sane husband would never have treated his wife and his little girl this way. My husband has missed out on so much already with D3 which is very sad but at the end of the day it is his choice.

There are alot of positive that have also come out of this last year. I have learned how to GAL, cherish the people that are close to me and learned that no matter what i will be ok .

My husband will be here tomorrow visiting D3, i do not intend mentioning anything about the fact that it is a year to the day that he decided to walk out on his family, the 2 people that love him unconditionally. I suppose he does not need me reminding of the choices that he has made.

Hope everyone is ok

Nicky

Also i forgot to mention that my husband started his new job yesterday, he seems to like it and is already doing overtime to make extra money which he desperatley needs. This is definately a step in the right direction for him when it comes to sorting out his finances. I really can see him trying sometimes to get himself back on track.

Nicky

Hi everyone

Considering the fact that it is a year ago today since my husband walked out of the door, i actually feel ok. My husband started texting flirty messages today, at one point he said that if i ever want uncomplicated sex just to let him know. As i see it there is nothing uncomplicated about the situation, we are married, we have a daughter together and he is still living with the woman who he had an affair with. I did text back and say that i am sure that if he wanted uncomplicated sex then there are plenty of women who would be willing, he didn't need me for that. He definately still finds me physically attractive but we don't seem to move forward from that.

I do want to have sex with my husband because it has been such a long time and i really miss him but nothing less than it being the real thing, feeling etc, and i would need to know that he is not sleeping with anyone else. I have far too much respect for myself to settle for anything less. I am his wife, the mother of his little girl, if he wants just sex without meaning then he needs to find it elsewhere.

Got a busy weekend coming up , going out on Saturday night for a few drinks then got a Christening to go to on Sunday and D3 and i are going away overnight on Monday. I have got the rest of the week off work so i plan to try and decorate one of the rooms, although i was never really any good at painting lol .

Hope everyone is ok

Nicky

Nicky !!!!!

Good for you for telling him he could do that with anyone else, but not you !

I'm glad you're doing well today - YOu are so strong sweety !!!

I love how you have gotten a LIFE, that's why your is admiring you so much I think !! He sees you moving on happily without him !!!

It's so clear from the outside looking in !

Keep going !!

Found this on another website and thought it so true: it's great to be a woman



Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
But they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.

Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Nicky thanks so much for that !! Hope you're doing ok !! Always thinking of you, there's a few fellow Brits nowadays for you - Angelica is back and Saffie is from the UK too !!

Hi Nicky,

Thought I'd just drop in and say hi as I am from the UK too. I am signing off for the night now but will call back to your thread soon.

Saffie

Hi everyone

Saffie - thankyou for dropping by , where in the uk are you from?. Hope you are having a good weekend.

Had a good day so far, my husband picked D3 up earlier so had some me time to go and get my hair done and do a bit of shopping . I managed to find a nice outfit for the christening that D3 and i having been invited to tomorrow.

I was suppose to be going out tonight for a drink with my sis but she just rang to say that she is not feeling very well. So, tonight i think that i am going to have a nice long soak in the bath with a glass of wine and just pamper myself a bit .

My husband is due to bring D3 back shortly, he said that he was going to take her swimming earlier, so hopefully she has had a great afternoon with her Daddy.

I have been invited to a 70's disco fancy dress party in a few weeks, anyone got any ideas as to what i can dress up as?. I was only a young child in the 70's , so need some help .

Hope everyone is ok

Nicky

Hi Nicky,

I'm from the midlands - between Milton Keynes and Northamton - where are you from?

Could go as one of the ladies from ABBA perhaps, Suzi Quatro, Debbbie Harry from Blondie, Kim Wilde ? Just a few suggestions.

Hope you have a good time at the Christening.

Saffie
ps. am trying to find time to catch up on your sitch but the kids keep kicking me off the PC. My hubby is going to Old Trafford tomorrow to see Man U play Tottenham so I will try to catch up then

Saffie

I live in the North west, so probably a few hours away from you.

Thanks for the ideas for the 70's party :), i will have to research in to it.

Thanks for trying to catch up on my sitch and any input is greatly appreciated. As you will see, i think that my husband wins the most flirtest MLCer award .

Husband dropped D3 off and started fliting again, i still can't work out his reason for doing it . At first he said it was a man thing and then he said that maybe he was trying to make it up to me for all the hurt he caused , so who knows lol.

As far as i am aware my husband has still got the paper work with regard to the divorce that he was meant to sign and post over a month ago.

Hope everyone is ok

Nicky