Atlas, I am impressed with your goal list. One thing I get from reading your posts is that no matter how your situation turns out in the end you will be ok. Actually better than ok, I think no matter how it turns out you will come out the other end a better man.
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Well, I do have to agree that we can all learn from it. I have to admit though well I apply it to my situation it just brings me down. I think my WAW has throughly made up her mind. Its been 4 months since she moved out, and I will answer these goals.
Short-Term (One to Two Weeks) 1. My wife checks in with me to see how I am doing. NEVER 2. My wife acknowledges there were some positives between us. NEVER 3. My wife goes to dinner or does something with me and the kids. NEVER 4. My wife invites me to do things with her and the kids (e.g., dinner or play time). NEVER 5. I reduce to the requisite minimum emails/calls to my wife. I DO THIS 6. My wife initiates conversations with me. NEVER 7. My wife says something positive to me. NEVER 8. We discuss differences/problems/issues in a healthy way. NEVER
So I guess that somewhat explains to where I am at. I am slowly moving on with my life. The times I sit back and lament all of them NEVERS above are the times I am miserable, and drive myself nuts. Dont sleep, and all that good sh*t. The times I do stuff for myself, like plan for MY future, buy replacement funiture, and all that stuff are the times I feel better. I am becomming accepting of what my life is going to be. Sometimes I am ok with it too.
Atlas - The goals are great! You're really working hard and getting results. I agree with your C that you should back off and give your W room to initiate.
I've found that the hardest thing is your long-term personal goal #1. That's the one that takes the most effort and time but will yield the most results for your PMA and allow you to better focus on your other goals(whatever happens with your M). I've only been doing this for a month, so it's very hard for me now but I can feel the value of the little detachment I've achieved so far.
Stay strong,
Larry
M 63 W 40 M 4/91 S14/D9 bomb 7/6/07 D filed 8/3/07 final 2/4/08 thread
Those goals may not be appropriate for your sitch so don't evaluate where you are based on those. I have a lot more contact with my W than you do. So some of those were not reasonable for you to expect. The goals have to be personal to your sitch. Use mine as guides, but set your own now. If you had set some a month ago that fit your sitch, you might be looking back now at progress instead of thinking you've made no progress.
Nomo
M 39 W 39 M'd 10 yrs; T 14 yrs S7 D4 Bomb 5-8-05 W not working on M 1-22-07; EA 2-22 DB 4-10 S 6-11 No more C Link
any advice or help here on this would be appreciated.
i've got the job, but to make the mortgage over the next year and half is going to be real tight. well today i get a hand written letter in the mail from a couple across town. they want to buy the place.
i did some research and the return address checks out, and they are actually in a bind at their place since there is a road widening and they have been going to city council meetings to stop it, found the minutes on the net. so i'm sure they are desperate.
has anyone ever heard of this, i called their number and got a machine but it was their names. if they can cover the mortgage then i'm going to sell.
does that sound fishy?
well w has already called twice today and wants to come by again tonight, told her i had plans. she sounded down after that, but i just can't deal with her right now.
God job Atlas. You don't have to be at her beck and call. Not sure on the house, can't hurt to look into it though. Oh and congrats and the jobby job!!
Me 32 WAW 30 D Bomb 7/9 Separated 7/15 Reiterated bomb 8/12 PA 8/21 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#Post1198643
A You should be proud of yourself on the job front. The other will work itself out, one day at a time. C
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
