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Thanks, guys! I know the right answer, but have to hear from others to believe I guess.
So W didn;t call me back last night. I left msg on machine. Very possible she didn;t even check it. I texted her this morning asking to meet for lunch. If I don;t hear back, I will just wait until our date Sunday.
I want to tell her that it woudl be nice for her to acknowledge my call/text out of courtesy. Even if its "got your msg, can't talk." She's always been so nice and considerate except for this one thing. I don;t wnat to attack her about it, but it makes me worry when I don;t hear back. UGH!!!

As usual, W called me when she got my text. Why do I get so worked up about it? Oh, b/c I'm separated and my head goes screwy, yeah that would be why LOL.
So she asked me why I wanted to get together for lunch. She was very hesitant. I think expecting me to want to delve into serious talk or something like that.
I said I thought it would be nice to just get together.
Her tone changed immediately, like she was relieved. She indicated she's working from home today (seh discussed hoping to do that when we met on Sunday). So, I said, oh that's nice that they did let you do that. She suggested I could come that way, but didn;t have to if I didn't want to. (Duh, I'd drive to Egypt fro lunch with her)! So I'll be meeting her in just 4 short hours. My arms are up in the air as we rise the big hill on this roller coaster. Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
I wrote down my goals for the lunch already, so I hope to stay focused.

Lunch with W went fairly well. Kept it light and cheery most of the time. I did say that I wanted her take on giving her space vs calling. She said she had felt like I was contacting a little too much. I said I was hoping that we could talk a bit more often. Then said, I'm trying to guess at this and realized I just needed to ask you and get your feelings. She said she didn;t know the right answer. I said just tell me what your feeling is, there is no wrong answer. I also said part of the reason we're here right now is b/c we did not talk about things like this.
As she began to tell me, it took us to talking about the impending 30 day point. She brought it up. I said, well, I'm so uncertain as to what's going to happen at that point. That is part of why I wanted to talk a bit more often. We agreed to discuss things at that time, after we both have met with C again. We will each talk to C about this and then establish 1 of 3 things:
1. Continue separation and talk about more concrete boundaries
2. I move back in, but also establish ground rules
3. Give Up
I made sure to say give up, not D. Then I said, of course I don't want #3 (like she doesn't know that). And she just looked at me as if her eyes were saying, "But I do." Ouch
Then she said we weren't going to figure it out today and we would see each other Sunday anyway. So glad she brought up our date. We laughed about how hard it is going to be to give the dogs baths.
So, Sunday's goal is no R talk unless she brigs it up.
One other thing, she asked why I was all of a sudden so into getting into shape and eating better. I simply said I was unhappy with myself and decided to stop complaining and start working on it. I did not like myself when I complained so much. She kind of nodded in agreement! I threw in that I was working on not drinking during the week to help keep the weight off, and that I knew I was way too lazy when I start drinking early. Another nod from W.
So the seeds of change are in there, now that actions must continue.
I really think we will extend things in a few weeks. I am shooting to have a move back in date for Oct 1, if not earlier. I have to think about how to present it so she knows I am not taking that to mean we're back together. More of an in house separation. Will suggest separate bed rooms if I have to. Probably will at first. One of you said early on that getting back will really increase my odds, as she will see the new me daily. Will talk to C about how to approach as well. Any advice on how to breach this, and perhaps when would be great.
Thanks,

DLT, your doing great, don't seat the small stuff. Just like I told NOMO, you post great advice to others. Go back and read your own advice to people, it may help you practice what you preach. You know the answers, it's just hard to get past your emotions and apply them to your sitch.

You got that right! I've avoided my emotions for so long. So now their strength is warping my logic! Have my feedback sesh with C at lunch today. I think that will help reenforce things. My W will be home working and I had let her know I was stopping by to grab a bill I need to pay. Realized this mroning I also need to get a travel bag for my trip. Was hoping not to bring it up, unless she asked what I did thsi weekend. I hope it doesn't seem planned to her. Oh well, can't do anything about it anyways I guess.
Going to print out EAA'a bullet points. I was rereading my thread and had already forgotten it. My heart keeps pushing my brain to the side. I am not used to that at all.
Looking forward to the sweet Kentuck Bourbon among friends this weekend! Will probably be quiet for a few days.

Good Monday Morning! The KY distillery trip was great! Got to catch up with the old college guys and their SO's. On eof the girls really hits it off with my W and said she'd call her in a few days to say hi. We are all getting togther Labor Day, but W is not planning on going. Says it would be right, then says it wouldn't feel right. I don't know if she's worried about getting my hopes up, or thinks she would be uncomfortable.
I drive back Sunday morning so I could get cleaned up before heading to the house. W and I gave the dogs baths. Went really well, it was nice doing something so closely together. She was smiling and laughing. We talked a bit just about my trip (she had texted Fri morning as I was enorute to KY to ask if I coudl feed dogs that night. So I called her and 'reminded' that I was on my trip, she said sh frogot). I asked her what she did for teh weekend. Went out with a mutual girl friend that I thought W had been avoiding b/c I knew she had not called her back in a few days. I was going to confront her on this, but now I do not, she really was just too busy all week. They ran into a guy from our high school who was dating W's best friend (again), but not anymore. She ended up karaoking back at his apt with him and roommate I do not know who also attended same school. She said she crashed there due to drinking and dog had meesed her crate when she got home Sun morning. I'm glad she had fun, and trust her completely, but those thougts have a way of eating away. C says I have issues with confrontation. I am thinking about letting her know that while I trust her, this upset me a bit that she's crashing at an apt witha couple single guys. Not sure if thsi is something I should puch or not. We plan on talking in depth about R next week. We need to set boundaries, and this is one I think I should touch on. Just to show her my feelings.
The rest of our date went really well as we had dinner out. I felt we were talking like H and W again. She was far less reserved, and volunteered info instead of me having to probe for her to open up. She checked my wedding ring out more than once, no idea why or what that may mean. She did not have hers on when I got to the house. She was obviously just out of the shower and then we bathed the dogs. She did put them on when she changed for dinner. So no biggie.
W dropped me off at house afterwards. She had to check in on friend's cats while they are away. (Actually were W's cats, but she got rid of them when we moved in together). I was so close to going in for a kiss, but resisted. My goal for next time is some physical contact. A hug? Holding hands? we'll see. But, I have to give it a try.
W asked me soething very curious...I think she is probing me to see if my chages are real/permanent. She asked if I was done going to see the C now that I had my feedback sesh. I gave her a very confused look and said, "no, why would I be done?" She said she figured that since I had my feedback, I would not want to go anymore. I told her I have another sesh Tuesday and that just b/c I knew what my problems were does not mean I know how to change/correct them. She said she was also continuing. She said they hadn;t really touched on our R, she was seeing that she has a lot of things to deal with on her own. I told her that was the point, that we need to realize our own problems and work on ourselves. I Said the M getting better would hopefully be a nice side effect of our efforts to be better people individually. She seemed to really like that. I am feeding the dogs Wed so she can go to her sesh. Plan on leaving her a Thank You type card just saying how I much I aprreciate her efforts, how much I look forward to spending time w/ her, and asking her to give me a call i she has time. My goal is for her to call me just to talk a bit. Any thoughts on if this is too much, or a diff approach? After that past few weeks with no touching, no ILY or I miss you, etc., I just want a chance to evaluate the progress. Also, I hope that helps me going into the weekend and the big R talk. I am hopeful to get back home. Perhaps even part-time, like being there M-Thurs or something, so I am there, but she still gets space on the weekends where we can have our 'date' but other than that, I am out of the house.
Well, that was a ong one! Overall, I'm pretty happy, just the crashing part that keeps me outr of the clouds. I'm sure no big deal, but I need to address my feelings, whetehr with her or just by myself. Can't convince myself it's OK without delving into it at all.

Head is back on straight tonite. Bike ride after 4 days off helped me clear my thoughts. I know there isn;t anything to W crashing at her friend's place. I am focusing on the great convo we had and the feeling that she was truly happy to spend time with me. Just finished an emotional needs worksheet in prep for my C sesh tomorrow. I'm not sure if she meets most of mine, or I just don;t know what I want. Gotta keep looking inward. I am excited to see C this time. Really feel like I'm going to find new ways to confront my issues and emotions.
I'm still afraid of losing W, but I can't have her love me if I am not sure how I feel about myself. Man, I have myself on a roller coaster, much less the one she is giving me!

I am so fighting the urge to contact W. Just plain miss her!
I got a thank you type card to leave for her Wed when I am there to feed dogs. Jts going to ask her to give me a call about this weekend. Going to suggest we figure out a few specifics to talk about so we are not all over the place. I think this should be OK without being pushy/needy. Been trying to read alot of posts here. Not saying as much lately, just soaking up different aspects/sitch's. Helps get me grounded again and focus on DBing.

Good session with C today. has challenged me to write a letter to my W apologizing for anything I felt I did that hurt her or was just the wrong thing to do. I told her it will be a long letter! It will be good to have it as reference though.
Also reenforced my need to be patient. I have cue cards for our big talk this weekend. I'm looking forward to the end of teh talk LOL. at least it will be a chance for me to feel comfortable getting things out in the open knowing that this is teh time for it. Shooting for:
Boundaries
defined separaton (hopefully back in the house)
Schedule of increasing time together
reenforce that I want to work on our friendship
Want to do more around the house

Today shall be a good day! Get to see my pups after work!