So glad to see you're still persistent. You really need to go back a year or so, read some of your post's, and relish in just how far you have come. It's night and day girl. You and your H are definately on the right path, to healing. It's like Forest Gump running from coast to coast and back again, and then just stopping in the middle of the desert and saying, "I think I'll go home now". We get so caught up in the emotional spin cycle. It's so painful we'll do anything to get out, D, cheat, drugs, etc. It goes on month after month after month. We don't know when, how, or IF it will ever end.
So either we commit spiritual suicide, physicial suicide, or we begin to embrace the struggle. We start seeing our own weaknesses, and how our behaivior, our thoughts, our actions either increase or decrease the suffering. We begin to see that we do have choices, options, the ability to make a difference. It's about US!
It's about me letting go of MY fears, MY selfishness, MY anger, MY issues. It's me becoming the best parent, and spouse that I can possibly be. I put God first, family second, and it's ME who becomes blessed. I realize that the things I find most fulfilling, are those that can not be bought, demanded, or coersed. It's the love, the friendship, the kindness, the honesty that flows when the two enemies realize they truly care about each other.
It is a process, a journey and there are no short cuts. There are obstructions, detours, and quagmires, but most are self inflicted. Having lived through it, I can only say that there is nothing more terrifying, more difficult, and more exhausting than this struggle to save a M. But there is nothing more beautiful, more fulfilling, and more blessed.
I congratulate you all on your strength, your courage and your perseverance. Someday, you will be blessed beyond what you can imagine.
Never give up!
Love,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
