I'm not sure that Dieda gives a prescription for certain behavior that is attractive to women, for if a man did that, he would by definition become placating. What I got from Dieda is the man should do what he honestly wants to do with little concern for what the woman likes, but by doing that, he makes himself into a secure male that is then attractive to a particular type of woman. If another woman is not attracted to this version of a man, then so what? She can find someone she likes, but the man needs to be himself and wait for the right woman to follow him.
Trying to put forth certain behavior that is "attractive" to a woman puts the man in the trap of trying to gain approval. The Nice Guy book talks specifically about this and warns of that trap. The book also postulates that this comes about from the absence of father roles and the expectations of the feminist movement to "shape" men in the feminine ideal, and how that "ideal" ends up not being attractive to those women who tried to create it in the first place.
So if there is one particular behavior that men should follow to become attractive to women, I say it is not give a rat's ass about whether you (the man) are attractive to women. That will attract the most women.
So if there is one particular behavior that men should follow to become attractive to women, I say it is not give a rat's ass about whether you (the man) are attractive to women. That will attract the most women.
Well, I'm not familiar with the character but based on the picture of your BF that I saw I would say that you are an *ss woman, so it's probably that. Which is another reason that we need to go bar-hopping together if our current guys go AWOL. I get all the tall ones with biceps and you can have the shorter ones with cute *sses. Works out perfectly.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
So if there is one particular behavior that men should follow to become attractive to women, I say it is not give a rat's ass about whether you (the man) are attractive to women. That will attract the most women.
Well, I suppose this is what I was driving at... and there ARE behaviors that communicate that attitude. Hairdog is beginning to understand it, especially with his latest post to Lou over on his own thread.
And though it seems very obvious to me... what those behaviors are... and how I subsequently feel around a man who exhibits such behaviors... it must not be so readily apparent to the guys on this board (that isn't a criticism). That's probably because it is such a subtle understanding...
There is already a fundamental change in Hairdog, and you can see it in his writing. Compare that with CeMar's absence of understanding, and maybe that illustrates my point?
Given that we have such limited interactions with one another because we converse through a BB, I picked a tv character who I think exhibits the traits and behaviors women find attractive. I picked the character specifically because he is not a Brad Pitt type. Yet... he is still incredibly appealing. It is because of his behaviors.
Would you be able to say the same thing to women who found themselves in a sex starved marriage? Would you tell them that they just are acting unattractive and that's why they find themselves in the situation they are in?
Interesting question. I think LD men are avoiders by nature, and I think HD ladies tend to have strong personalities which contribute to the imbalance.
If you think about Honeypot's R... I think she would say she had behaviors that were contributing factors. The behaviors a woman has to change are different than those a man would have to change.
So, to answer your question... yes... but I wouldn't call it 'just acting unattractive.' It makes it sound simplistic, kwis?
Once you 'get' it, it seems obvious... and the changes you make, to an outsider, would appear very subtle (they are)... but it's anything but simple, until it is.
