Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives Frustrated and Saddened #2

H:



It was not easy to do. Wanted to question how she was able to take time off today but not Friday. But not bringing me closer to my goal, so I let it go, and came here to complain.



Absolutley right there. During the ceremony, I found myself tearing a bit when the priest was talking about how wonderful marriage is because it is a partnership and how they never will have to face things alone because they are now one and also teared up a bit during the vows (you know good times and in bad, etc...). Just so depressing how things can change so drastically. The hardest part is things haven't changed for me. I still love her more than anything in the entire world. She is the one that doesn't feel the same anymore. If I had the chance to do it again tomorrow, I would run to the altar to make the same commitment. If she had the choice to do it again tomorrow, she would run away so as not to make the same mistake. Or at least that is how things seem.

Well here is my anniversary dilemna. For my wedding gift to her, I gave hera nic e wooden keepsake box engraved with our names and wedding date. Along with it I gave her some parchment paper and on one sheet I wrote everything that I loved about her and what I looked forward to in the coming years. Each anniversary, we are supposed to write another one and tell eachother of what we enjoyed about the year that just passed and what we look forward to in the year to come. And every year on our anniversary we open the box and read our letters to eachother from the years past and add the newest to the pile.

I am not sure what to do. I think I should probably not continue our tradition, or maybe I should but not get too sentimental with it. Just keep it friendly rather than romantic or anything like that. I think that continuing with acting as if things are okay, I should write something simple. Just letting her know that I am still here for her no matter what she has done in the past and that things can get better. I think at times, she feels really guilty about the things that she does. I don't know. I was thinking about doing that and something small to let her know that I still appreciate and love her.

WAW or some of the other WA's on this board, what do you think? Should I keep up with our tradition? By not giving her it, would it almost make her think that I am giving up, or would it be perceived more as me recognizing her feelings right now and trying not pressure etc. What I was thinking about writing would be something about us growing alot in the past year and then talk about the exciting events coming up within her family, etc. Not too much about "us".

What about writing one for you and putting it in the box without telling her?

Asking her to help, as we know, not a good idea. Maybe she'll look in there and read it, maybe not.

This way you keep the tradition on your end, but don't push her. Plus, there's the chance she'll still see it.

Not sure if that's a good idea, but it's an idea

BD

By the way, that's a pretty cool idea -- the whole box/letter/anniversary thing, not mine.
BD