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Atlas, Wow you have made real progress! I keep waiting for the alien, but seems like we're so far away from a real talk.
Keep up the good work and patience. Sometimes I think you and I are on the same route, just at different points. Thanks for letting me peek into the future!
I can tell your patience is wearing thin. Step back and think of what has happened recently. You made it this far, why stop now?

Thanks for the support everyone.

My patience is wearing thin, I need to set back and regroup. I was supposed to do that this weekend, but there is so much going on and it seems like w is around non stop to work things out. Everthing else is life is getting neglected. Oh well, it is my top priority.

I know she is on the brink of saying lets do this, and sometimes she does say that. She is there all the time, so I need to cut off the R talks when she starts and keep them light, she likes that and I need her to be comfortable.

My weight is becoming a big problem. I'm down another 5 pounds, and I saw the doc this week and he was concerned. I have to go back and if the weight doesn't stablize or pick up a little he said there will be some changes, not sure what though. I eat everthing, appetite isn't an issue but I'm not taking anything in. I've now dropped 30 lbs and only really had about 10 to give. If it doesn't stop I'm going to have to detach from her or make an ultimatim, I'm feeling dizzy and light headed all the time, sleeping non stop. Hmmm, depression?

A
A non-clinical diagnosis from afar and having gone thru this a few times and dropped weight just like you are talking about, yes, you need to talk to your doc about depression.

Atlas-It sounds like your alien, er, I mean your wife, is testing you (not consciously, it's obvious she's confused). I'm not sure if I'm explaining this very well, but if she can act like that with you and you still love her and want to stay together, than she can be more sure that she's making the right decision. I hope that makes some sense. Try to take care of yourself!

2 quick things:

1. WAS's are scared ... so scared. They sometimes feel in a rock and a hard palce... if they go back, all the problems may go back, if they file they may spend the rest of the time wondering What If..? All the LBS can do is be patient and calm. Sucks I know. My bomb was the single most emotionally crushing incident in my entire life, and I don't think there will be another like it.

2. If you're underweight you are welcome to some of mine - I have about 60Lbs to drop (which I am doing via DB goal setting)

Question.

I have the job interview tomorrow. I should get it and I'm seriously considering it. However, I am aware that it is potentially a small paycut. The long term is a lot more up though.

W was always interested in this happening, prior to all of this. Even now she told me congrats and said she was excited. Would it be dumb to ask her view? Maybe say something like, I know your thinking about things, but I would really like your view and opinion on this...

Any thoughts?

Since she knows about the interview and is excited for you, I would think she might like the opportunity to give you her opinion. Let's just hope you get the W and not the alien
BD

Atlas - has your doc checked on any other medical causes for the weight loss??

I know most of us lose weight during our sitches but it's due to not being able to eat. If you're eating and losing weight, it makes me worry something else is going on (thyroid? liver?).

Totally not a doc, just wanted to throw that out there.

You could try some of those Ensure nutrition shakes as between-meal snacks?? They are relatively high calorie and vitamins, I think.

Hope you have some good news on both the job and the W fronts soon!

I think you should ask her what she thinks about the job opportunity. Tell her you value her opinion and would honestly like to know if she thinks it would be a good move for you.
Good luck on the interview!

it is bad, it had gone real bad.

as for the weight lose it is the thyroid, haven't had trouble in a year or so but the labs came back and were not good. so back on the meds.

well we got to the point of filing out the papers tonight together. she said she doesn't want to, but has to. then she couldn't complete it, said she wanted me to be happy while we did it, ef that. then she wants me to have one ef'n wednesday and every other weekend with s. i never lost my cool, but i was not chipper chip monk.

then she wanted one month no contact, only drop off and pick up. i agreed. then she wants to file to see how it feels, see if she is right.

i really can't do this much longer, i'm thinking of giving her what she wants. i'm young, just starting out and have a good earning potential, women already lined up for dates. i'm really considering throwing in the towel and just taken my lumps and moving on.

begged tonight, asked why she was doing this, screwed up big time. i just can't sit there when she tells me all in the same speech she wants me, the marriage and to be happy, but can't do it, feels nothing for me, blah blah blah blah.

this is a huge joke. i think i need to check out for a while, focus on this job prospect, toy with the idea of selling the house and moving on.

she can go find herself, go out and party, find someone else, but i'm real sick of all of it.