Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
I was just sitting out on my porch drinking coffee and smoking. I realize I am not in a good place today, need to do something to snap out of it. I am hoping when I wake up a little more I will feel better. If I did not have my daughter right now, I think I would go back to sleep for awhile......Sometimes a period of 2 or 3 days when a person sleeps all that they can does do wonders.....
Ok, got to get motivated today........geez it is getting hot here.
Ok some advice is requested of you guys. I just read another thread on here, I wont go into detail as I dont want to uhhhh offend that person.
The advice I am looking for.......Is it wrong to tell a person what I really think???? Because I wanted to really tell this person.."its over...move on with your life" I actually bite my tongue alot on here. I am afraid of offending to many people if I really just went with my gut. But I truly believe that yes there is a time and place for DBing. Even if a person feels it is hopeless, there is still a place for it, if for no other reason than to know that you gave it your very best shot.
Then I also believe there is a time to "cut your losses" a time to continue with ones life....
What are you asking for, permission to let loose on someone? Tactfully!
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
If you're asking if it is ok to tell someone they should give up, I don't think so. That is there decision. It is tough enough to keep hope on your own, but if someone else starts telling you too, not good. And what if you're wrong? Whenever I hear someone who sounds like they are losing hope, I just try to prod them to think hard about it, and to take time so they're sure, but then let them know there is no right or wrong answer and it's just personal. Bite your tongue on those.
As far as letting loose on people, fine. It's called 2x4's or tough love. Just do it tactfully. Respectfully.
My 2 cents, Nomo
M 39 W 39 M'd 10 yrs; T 14 yrs S7 D4 Bomb 5-8-05 W not working on M 1-22-07; EA 2-22 DB 4-10 S 6-11 No more C Link
NDDT, I wanted to thank you because you just gave me a pretty good laugh.
I was reading christarn thread and you confused BF best friend for boyfriend. Your response:
Well if you were my WAW and wanted to come back to me, yet did not want to give up your boyfriend. Well to be brutally honest with you, I would slam the door in your face.
That is pretty funny....your reply later was funny also. Thanks I needed that....no I'm not going crazy...well maybe a little!
Sorry to call you out, I just wanted to let you know that you helped cheer me up a little! Matt
As for your question, not its not ok. It has nothing to do with your observation, and everything to do with their state of mind.
Every friend and family member right now is looking at me like I'm an idiot. If one more friend says, "Gee, I respect your tenacity, BUT..." I'm goign to fu#$# hit them.
But who is the DB'ing for? It's for me. One to regain some dignity in front of my S. Two, I know I did all I could. Sometimes the time has passed, but the person needs to finish their task to get their mind in check.
You crack me up.