I dont know if my marriage will work out, but I do want to take the steps to improve myself, not be so dependent on him. And if that makes me a happier person, then I will be better off and maybe it will bring us back together and maybe not, but I do know that I need to find the strength in myself to fight for my life!
I dont know if my marriage will work out, but I do want to take the steps to improve myself, not be so dependent on him. And if that makes me a happier person, then I will be better off and maybe it will bring us back together and maybe not, but I do know that I need to find the strength in myself to fight for my life!
Why did your husband file when YOU left? Did it just piss him off so badly when you left that he saw red and filed?
it is a shame that divorce has to be the catalyst for some of us to get off our asses and do some self-improvement, but at least looking at it as positively as possible will make it a tiny bit more bearable.
Good luck SMM, I wish you all the best!!!
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
If things were pretty good until 2 months ago, and then you two started fighting all the time, why do you suppose that happened?
Was there an outside event, a death in the family or some other stressor like losing a job?
If not, and it seemed like he was just picking fights, then maybe MLC but likely he is having an affair. If you were arguing about "where have you been all night?" then, ditto.
I do not understand "letting you come home." it is your home.
How is it that you moved out of state? What happens to the custody once you cross a a border? Does he have the burden to commute to your state? I have read different things on this issue depending on where you move and who leaves the home. Iwonder because I have an opportunity that I would like to peruse but I am frozen in limbo land.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I also do not believe the part about if he is a WAH it is over. No two situations are the same, so no one can tell you it is over. You need to try different things and see if any of them work. But make sure you give each thing you try enough time to see ANY changes in him from your changes. Also, if I were you, I would move right back home. Depending on where you live, the court can say you moving out is abandonment and you could end up with a small settlement.And since you took the children out of state he can say you refused to let him see them. You never know if a divorce is going to get nasty, so even if you think it won't, hope for the best but plan for the worst. I truly hope this does not happen to you, but I think it helps to prepare.
There is always hope if I'm responsible for my own behavior.
All of us still have a chance with our WAS's, just a tough long road. You do need to be prepared for the worse but that does not mean that it can't work out. Just do what is right for you.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
Things are going horribly. It seems that everytime I start my 180, he contacts me with some excuse to yell at me. Its like he knows that I am trying to do this and wont let me. Well yesterday was the last straw, I had a very nasty voicemail from him, I think I've hit the point where I dont want to try anymore. Its been a little over 2 weeks since he filed and I still cant start my 180. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I should or could do. I dont want to just give up, but I am coming to the point where I dont know what else to do.
Why can't you just pack up the kids and your stuff, and move back home?? You do still have the keys to your home, don't you? What is he gonna do, stop you and his kids from living in their own home? Just go, and say to him that you two just needed some space apart for a while, but now it's time for you to come home. The physical and emotional distance between you two is making it harder for either one of you to do anything positive. And is he having an affair? Or was the arguing about other stuff?
Maybe the other more experienced DBers will say I am wrong, but I think you should try to move back. And I wouldn't ask him, but tell him you are coming back.
we really all want to help you... but you're not letting us.
if you want us to help you best.. you need to tell us more.
All the details you are hiding.
By now, most people are talking their fingers ragged I think you're trying to hide things, that you are perhaps ashamed of. Please say what has been going on in the last year between you both, and from you both.
No husband is willing to file divorce after 2 months of arguing. What has really been going on between you?
If you want advice on what "180s" to do in your life.. you first have to tell us what your life is like now!
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
