Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Pretty Much Done

I'm sorry. Maybe the sooner you can get to the end point the sooner you can let go and be happy. You are already on the way.

Just read through your thread! Wow! You truly have been a gentleman and generous to a fault (which she doesn't deserve, IMHO), and I know your W is going to miss your money (I mean, you) when you're gone. Boy, is she in for a rude awakening when she has to budget her own spending, and not have someone to lean on. Sorry (sure you don't want anyone badmouthing your W), I am still quite astounded at her actions ... not to mention the door incident. I used to have anger issues, but your W makes me look like a cute, li'l kitten.

I think you may find that being on your own will bring you some peace and quiet (my first, very short, M was abusive, and after I left, it was like the whole planet had rolled off my shoulders, and felt so free and able to do my own thing with no-one to answer to). Sounds like you have GAL covered very nicely, and I doubt you will have any problems with meeting new people (I mean, ladies) once you are ready.

Take care!

Thanks. I'm sure you are right. I've already had a few I had to tell to back off until I was ready, which will be a while - at least until next year. I know they say give it two years, and it might take that long, but I've been in this mess for three, so some of the healing has already begun.

Generous to a fault: hmmm, she sure doesn't see it that way. Even after covering all kids expenses, plus $400 a month, plus an addl $16K next year for the last year of private school, she is now asking for part of my bonus, and she wants a clause inserted that if she loses her job that I'm responsible for up to a year of her mortgage - not a loan, I'm just supposed to pay it!!! I told her I don't ever see an end to her demands, so I am stopping giving her any more now.

This will just never end.

Hi!

I haven't had a chance to read your thread--but I wanted to tell you how helpful I found the link you posted to Irish. Thank you--there is great information there.

Well, it's D-day of sorts. We had a marathon session with the attys this morning and finalized all the remaining details on the D deal. It's a wonder how smooth it goes when you give away $30K. I basically agreed to take only 3/4s of my equity to conpensate for her 10 years as a stay-at-home mom. Yeah, I know, it was her choice to agree to my insistent request, but I couldn't get her to quit complaining about how unfair the deal was, and this finally shut her up. Part of the deal included me getting all of my equity money now instead of letting her pay me back later with interest. This is good for me because then I don't have to try to get my cash out of her in 10 years. That would have been a nightmare.

So I guess it's good enough.

The other milestone of sorts is that I made an offer on a house that was accepted. I got the guy to come down 6% with one e-mail, I love this market! I took the kids to see it tonight and they are very excited. You would not believe the kitchen: Corian, tons of lights, all upgraded. And only a block from the lake with a neighborhood private beach! I'm buying a boat (when my finances get out of the toilet!).

W agree to move my move out date to Sunday instead of the first, since she isn't giving me the cash until we sign, and that is not until Friday. So it looks like I will be moving this weekend. Major trauma.

As I went to go negotiate the house deal, W broke down crying. She was scared about losing me, she said. I told her I had felt that way for three years. I knew she would snap out of it in a little while. It used to take a few days, then one day. This one took 20 minutes for my phone to ring telling me she was fine and I should not let her breakdown stop me from making an offer on the house. I didn't.

It's sad when it gets to the point you can predict her backtracking is a farce. This sucks.

So, on one day we finalized the D and I bought a house. It's W's birthday. Our family is over. I hope she is happy.

I am sorry my friend.. so sorry.. for you. But as they say.. YOU know what ?

YOU will be well. You are a good guy and will be okay ! :).. and so will your kids.

How did your last race go btw.. ??

Tom

Congrats on getting the house you bid on! I guess it can only go uphill from here? One hopes, 'eh!?

Tom,

I'm assuming you mean the marathon last October. It was my slowest marathon. But that was not the point. It was great to have the distraction. It was fun to get to do some sightseeing. And hey, it was Ireland, so how bad could it get? I barely did the training, and was woefully undertrained. But I really enjoyed it (okay, the last eight miles sucked, but they always do!).

How is your sitch going?

Hey Speed !

Actually I was wondering how you did in the last nautical race on the Lake !?

I am basically in the same boat you are in ...D is final 9-18 btw..

only my w moved out and I have custody of the kids, I get the house, three cars and the boat,my retirement, $1400.00/mo. in CS,and two housecats...

W gets her car, a one BR apt,her three bank accts, her retirement, OM , Bipolar Disorder, and can visit with the boys anytime she would like.. so long as the BPD does not cause other issues.

Of course I have only shelled out $212.00 in legal fees !

Tom

Ha, I wish, try $40K!

We didn't finish the sailboat race. The winds were out of the north and that was where we were trying to go, so after 9 hours we did the math and didn't want to be up all night, so we turned on the motor and still took six hours to get to the finish. But the party was fun and we saw a lot of people we saw last year.

I'm doing another race Saturday with my brother, so that should be fun.

This is a wild week. Looks like Friday will be the house inspection, the signing of the D deal, and possibly putting the down payment on the house. The owner said he would let me start to move stuff in Sunday even if I didn't have payment yet. I will be in full move out mode next week for sure.

The seller is super flexible (as he should be in this market). He is financing me for 8 months so I can save up for a good down payment, and I just pay him interest. I wasn't particularly interested in an interest only loan, but it looks like I'll be able to save up a ton of cash. The payments will only be $200 more than for my current house. And they are deductable. Once I get a bank loan, they go up about $1000, so I'm going to enjoy the lower payments for a few months anyway.

W said after hearing about my new house that we probably should trade. Probably true, but it won't happen.