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And I already emailed you back.

GD,

Is receiving gifts one of her LL?

Hey GD, I hope that she appreciates the thought behind the charm. It seems like a good idea to me. I like the note, don't change a thing IMO.

Nomo,


I will not be there when she gets it. I will be dropping the kids off at daycare Friday morning because I'm leaving for Seattle at 9:00 a.m. She will pick them up after work, along with their stuff and her mail. I'm afraid that she will open it at home with OM there though. I'm hoping that she will find it without him around and put it aside and open it later. It will be likely that I will never know how she received it, and whether or not she attaches it to her keychain. I don't think she will even mention it, and if she does in the form of a thank you, I think that is a green light for the talk and I will present it at that moment.


Absolutely!

chicki,



I think it is a secondary LL (however, I think it definitely ranks as a strong #2), but it has to be done with careful thought (as I recently explained I have come to realize). I think romantic and very thoughtful gifts, just for the sake of giving them because I love her (i.e. not just for special occasions), is important to her. I think Words of Affirmation is #1 for her (this includes active listening and validating, providing support, showing appreciation, and giving compliments).

GD

Thanks dlt1!

I'm actually thinking of adding to it:

"P.S. Thanks for working with me and my plans for the next two weekends. It really means a lot to me."

Thoughts anyone?

I think it's all about the symbolism (sp?)!! And you are trying to make right for not calling her and asking if she wanted your children while you went rafting....I don't see it as if you are trying to buy her!!

So, you'll leave it for her at daycare. I think it is good you won't be there when she gets/opens it.



Highly unlikely in my opinion. Only if she doesn't look in the bag or pile of stuff until she gets home. Anyway to position it so she sees it more quickly? On top of the other stuff in the bag (or whatever)?



I find it hard to believe she won't say anything. My thought is she at least acknowledges it next time you two either talk or see each other.



Is you answer the same if she thanks you in person or on the phone. I guess I assumed the last stand would be in person. Not sure it has to be, but just assumed that.



I like it. The note doesn't need it, but I think it is fine. Also doesn't seem like too much (eg, overkill). I guess I could go either way.

Nomo

Nomo,



That's my concern -- that she won't open up the bag of mail until she gets home. I haven't given her any notes, letters, etc, since I quit writing them mid May. I don't think she'd have any reason to skim through the contents of the bag until getting home, and I'm pretty sure OM will be home when she gets there, so it could be a disaster. Of course, I actually think it's a pretty good possibility that if she saw it w/ OM there she might nonchalantly put it away and open it later when he isn't around (if the seeds of doubt are sprouting, then I think this will definitely happen -- unless of course he notices and asks about it). On the other hand, if she does open it w/ OM around, I think it would be awesome if he got all butt-hurt about it and started making smart-ass comments about it, the idea, me, etc. It would show his insecurity and place me in a much better light. Don't know if he's the kind of guy to react that way, but I sure hope he is (maybe he will begin to show his true colors and the fantasy will dissipate).



Maybe, but she's pretty shy about showing emotions in general, and with her being the one to walk away and seemingly feeling so guilty about it, I don't think she could bring herself to do it. I actually think she might be afraid of the emotions that could spill out after she did. It'd be a potential domino effect. Also, the fact that she never mentioned the letters I was writing her tells me this might be something that she doesn't acknowledge either. Hard to say though. I would like to bring it up, but I'm pretty sure that this wouldn't be in my best interest.



Haven't decided on what my answer will be yet, but you make a good point. I don't think I would delve into the last stand talk on the phone. I really do think that would be more powerful and best done in person.


I was just trying to figure out a subtle way to get in some WOA LL. Haven't decided if I'll do it or not.

Thanks Nomo!

GD

GD,

I think you have a good idea here. If she opens it herself, she will be eliated, if she opens in front of OM, well he will dig his own hole.

Absolutely can not do your talk on the phone, it has to be in person, whats the saying about some percentage of what we say doesn't come out of our mouths. Face her, let her see your sincerity, your loyalty and honesty.

I'm pull'n for ya.

Hi GD,

A lot of good ideas, especially leaving it for her right before you take off out of town again.

I was thinking today about how we(actually I) picture the OP as being this perfect person who says & does just all the right things, and how that's not rational. You know when they(OP) start to feel insecure about the R that's not quite finished with the LBS's(Us) they prolly exhibit some kinda "off" behavior.

Anyway, if the OM is there it might not be a bad thing.

L&L,

Sunny