I would recommend "Mars and Venus Starting Over" by John Gray. Good book on helping you realize that the old R is dead and you need to move on. Only by letting go and living your life can you hope to attract her back. And once you get your life in order you may come to realize that she is no longer right for you and therefore you cannot be right for her.
It is hard to let go but acting "married" only tells her that you are conquered. That is not attracive in a man. Attractive men are confident and in control (not controlling) and the attractive man does not need a relationship - it is only a desire.
Also notice the OW you speak of "who is sweet and wants to love me, but I am having a hard time letting her". Ask yourself why she is attracted to you. Is it b/c you are pursuing her and waiting, hoping for a R (as you are doing with xW) or is b/c you are making yourself less available to her?
Quick update. Had a great weekend. I spent it doing nothing. Hung out with a lady friend. My wife tried to put the kids on me at the last minute. I really thought about taking them, but since I got the email at 5 pm on Friday for Saturday morning. I ignored it.
Well, we finally got a bid on the house. She told the Realtor that I won't return her calls. Funny, called the kids right back. So, I am almost disentangled from her. My counselour said to stay away from her and to screen my calls so I have time to think about my responses. I think it is very wise.
What do you guys think?
Hillcountry
Hillcountry
[color:"red"]I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it."
