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Thank goodness for DB site and internet. Hang tough girl.

Being Me, just be careful not to get too wound up with his needs and his depression etc and therefore forgetting about yourself. I did that with my W, she was always so stressed, so pressured, so depressed that I would accept pretty much anything from her and rationalize it away. A caring spouse can get sucked into giving everything and getting nothing in return very easily. Then one day you wake up and realize that this bad patch in your M has now become your everyday life, it's endless! Now, I'm not saying that this is happening or will happen to you but I just thought I'd give you a heads up anyway. So yes, do be empathetic but also remember yourself in the equation too.

Thanks, Wii, I do have a habit of doing that. I guess I feel I am a SAHM (usually), so my job is to take care of everyone, at the cost of myself because H is out making a living. I have been trying really hard not to, but old habits are difficult to break. I have allowed myself to fall down this past couple of weeks ... can't seem to sleep with thoughts circling in my head, so I read until 4am or even later, and then sleep until noon, and am totally out of it the rest of the day. I do plan on doing things, like gardening (or painting, or writing), but when I get out there, I don't see the point, am listless, and just leave it. I have to get out of this spiralling funk. Just really unmotivated right now. I guess it could be the length of time I have been DB'ing, trying, hoping, encouraging H, being supportive, making sacrifices (like giving up my job, and moving to the island), and it feels like I have achieved nothing.

I have to get back to working on me, and not worrying (even obsessing) about the M.

On another note: I have been thinking again of joining the reserves (or even regular cf), but am not sure what would be required. I know you can join up to 56 years old (in the reserves), so I have a little time. It would be cool to end my working life in the military (probably navy since I live on an island -ha), in the same way I started after school. I won't go into the military police, but probably administrative, if they'll have me. I was also thinking of joining the CFPSA, which means 6 months in Afghanistan. I am just considering this because I need to feel I am contributing to my adopted country, and also have a career that I can be proud of (OK, I am proud of being a mom too, but that's different), and pay my own way. I guess I should phone my local recruiting office, and see what my options are, if any.

Anyway, these are just ideas I have for my possible future, which I am starting to think will not include H, but I have said I will give him time to sort out his job sitch and see where we stand then (although he had all the time in the world before this job came along, but he chose not to use it wisely ... oh well). So, I will stand for a little time more, but I am not going to waste another 2 years of my life on someone who is just not that interested in making changes in himself (that he expected me to make in myself). Okay, there is a little bit of my spunk still there in me, after all ... been feeling somewhat deflated, and listless, and passionless.

Thanks for reading my posts, especially the ones like these where my feelings are all over the place. Ugh!!! Gotta get out and meet some people before I collapse in on myself.

BM,
You have always been so positive on my thread, I'm sorry you are so deflated at the moment. ((((((((Hugs)))))))))))

Thanks for the visit, ACJ! Yeah, it seems to be a periodic thing ... probably every couple of months or so! Oh well, it doesn't last long. DB'ing is difficult, but Piecing is worse, IMHO, especially if you have a depressed H. Really hard work trying to keep his PMA up, and your own as well. Constantly trying to boost his morale, when he should be boosting it himself.

Such is life, 'eh! Maybe there'll be something exciting and new, just around the corner for all of us.

Isn't that the truth. With all the hard work put in, I sure hope in the not to distant future, I/we have something to show for it.

A friend sent me this (I think she may've gotten it from The Secret). I thought it worth posting here, particularly for those in Piecing. Something to ponder and it's a good idea to do it in the morning, just to set the mood for the coming day. Of course, one can do it any time though.

Morning questions:
1) What am I grateful for today?
2) What am I happy about today?
3) I love (partner name) more today than I did yesterday because....
4) I love myself more than I did yesterday because......
5) Knowing that my goals are already a reality. What three things am I going to do today to manifest them into my life?

Take care, y'all!

My goal is to have a good day and experience in my life REGARDLESS of what does happen. I W wants to focus on negative, let her own it, not me. Yes, I will listen and if asked help with any problems, but I will not let it bring me down. Too often I have tried to solve her problems, but I don't think sometimes W wants them solved. W enjoys the misery of being a Martyr too much. Doesn't sit on me well, so I'll let it go.

Thanks for the good idea, I'll try to apply it.

You're up rather late, Mr. Phoenix! Me too, I guess! Ha!

Yeah, I'll give the morning questions a go, but knowing me, I'll probably forget every morning 'cause I am not a morning person. Probably best for me to do them in the evening as a reflection of the day.

Hope your weekend is going well so far.

I've kind of been looking at life in the "play every day to it's fullest" attitude. No doubt I don't want to sit around waiting for the worst to happen for the rest of my life. With these question I think it could keep me on task and upbeat. You'll have to check out my thread, obviously I was quite long winded today.